Thread 9 - TalkLair: “Russell's teapot goes on being round”

[Kucinghitam]

Continuation of previous threads (thread 8).

The new lair of JTT escapees is all cosy and homey; we have truly settled here. Outside, the garden is blooming with summer flowers - should bloody well be, what with all that rain. Inside, the hearth is glowing, pictures are up on the walls, rugs are down on the floors (and assorted pets curled up on them).

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

I know what you mean, Cyan. Being listened to and someone actually doing what we've asked without complaining is shocking. Sad, isn't it.

Dunno what I’d say tbh, Cyan. Maybe address the child, saying ecstatically “Well hello! You must be my new neighbour! Are you screaming outside my door because you wanted to meet me? That’s what my doorbell’s for, look! <ding dong ding dong> Anyway, so pleased to meet you, you can stop crying now!” etc. etc.

I am not a parent, btw. But have surprised/laughed toddlers out of tantrums before.

Someone I know is currently working on the till in a supermarket and he distracts small restless children with a magic trick. He gets a paper bag and does this finger flicking thing against it so it makes a noise and looks like something, like a nut, has dropped into it from a height. He said it works every time.

With the screaming child, I'd probably do a version of what Mavis said and speak loud enough that the parents could hear.

I adore toddlers and small children, so would probably make friends with her and the mother.

I love @MavisMcMinty's idea but I think the likelihood of me being able to carry that off, with my level of child-speak skills, and not appear like a deranged lunatic is very low. Although it could be a win-win as I doubt she'd want to risk it happening again.

…Also she’s just moved house and I imagine that’s pretty disruptive and unsettling for a small child, not that they particularly need a reason to have a tantrum at that age.

Wait until the parent is nearby, dress up like a cross between Nanny McPhee and the Child Catcher, fling open your door, gesture welcomingly to the child and in an ultra-friendly-yet-swivel-eyed style intone: "Hellooooo little one... would you like to stroke my special puppies?"

'Would you like to see my blue pussy cat? All this crying has aroused him from his slumber.'

That would be the solution if you don’t particularly want to be friends with the child or mother.

When Dottie had pups we Facebooked all the neighbours basically inviting all the children (and adults) of the village to “come and see our puppies”. And they came, and I was able to sell the pups as “well-socialised with children and cats”.

Evidence of the cat socialisation:

Is that a female cat, Mavis? Because they will mother practically anything. MrGon claims that his two sons, born only 18 months apart, were basically raised by the cat.

Those newborn dolls are quite something. That said I was tempted to buy the newborn "monkey" doll because I do love apes. Yes, apes. That is not a newborn monkey, for f-ing, fs sake. That is all.

Yes! She’s a very sweet cuddly girl, if our lodger opens his door she’s straight in there, very bold - he’s yet to meet the other cat, she’s much more aloof and suspicious.

Someone I worked with had two very elderly spayed bitches, a poodle and a German Shepherd, iirc. She was given some orphaned newborn kittens to raise and her two dogs FOUGHT over who got them in their beds, they were constantly stealing kittens from each other, and I saw photos of those old girls actually suckling those kittens from their ancient milkless teats.

EDIT: Neither dog had ever had pups!

And who can blame them? Kittens are the best.

CyanCrystalViolet· 30/08/2023

How did you get the buttercream icing black??

Black food colouring added to the sugar, before blending with the butter.

Tricyrtis2022

Hedge laying, eh? My dad used to do that, but now approaching 80, he's packed in. I've helped a few times and it's hard work, isn't it? He still propagates and plants trees and has a newish bill hook, with an orange plastic handle - no idea what happened to his old one.

It is hard work, @SinnerBoy and can be thorny, but it's so satisfying to look at what you've done. Me and Mr Tric did a course several years ago as we thought it might come in useful and it has. The first one we did after the course, a fairly short length of hawthorn, is where our main work is and we've been able to watch it develop from being thin and spindly into a wonderfully thick and healthy hedge. We did it while the client was away and his first sight was in the morning after his return home. He came out and bellowed 'May I say that hedge looks bloody marvellous!' which was music to our ears.

I've found my new house. Now where did I put the £3m?

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/cornish-cottage-where-john-le-carre-wrote-best-loved-spy-thrillers-on-sale-for-3m-ws26dtvgr

Can't do a share token but it's in archive.

Oh yes, that will do very nicely.

It's lovely. I could move right in, even with the original furnishings.

Oooh, I'll take it. Here are the full details:

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/139336214#/?channel=RES_BUY

I'm having a confusing morning. I wake to Radio 3, which has a very brief, no-details news report shortly after it switches on. I'm usually half asleep, and often have my ears under the duvet, so details occasionally get mangled. Today started with the surprising news that Joe Wicks has been sentenced to 18 years for trying to overthrow the US government.

And now there's a bird outside, just too far away for Merlin to pick up, and I have absolutely no idea what it is. I'm not great at bird songs, but can almost always get the general category. This one was a slightly (very slightly) more musical version of a chicken's bok-bok-bok alternating with a not-quite-dovelike prprprprpr.

The only thing I can think of is some sort of game bird, but we don't really have them round here.

Or a discarded but functioning GameBoy, perhaps!

I can't believe it's September. Maybe one of us will win the Premium Bonds today! I've been laid low, so I'm resting and reading the Sex and Gender reader from Alice Sullivan etc. Varied chapters, lot's of new stuff for me, though I can't help thinking that a bit more editiing would have made a difference. That and a type size greater than the 5-7 points it seems to be printed in! Perhaps I should have gone with the Kindle version but I had a yen for the real thing.

This one was a slightly (very slightly) more musical version of a chicken's bok-bok-bok alternating with a not-quite-dovelike prprprprpr.

I'm intrigued!

We spent last Bank Holiday weekend visiting our old uni (the city, not just the uni, that would be weird). Spotted these signs on a row of houses there.