Stupid things you believed as a child

[Soubriquet]

Remember those aliens in goo, that everyone said if you held them back to back it would make a baby alien.

Or that the furby’s of the 90’s would be able to say your name and people would spend hours trying to teach the furby to talk

Growing up, we said grace before dinner every evening. I got the idea from somewhere that saying grace sort of conjured this invisible forcefield/ring which surrounded us all at the table, at about the level of our ribs.

No-one had told me this and I have no idea where I got the idea from but if I had to leave the table for any reason I used to duck down to get under it.

The really strange thing is that none of my five elder siblings, who were not usually backwards in coming forwards to tease their little sister, ever said anything about my doing this. I never told anyone why I did it.

They must have noticed though, surely. And surely thought I was completely batshit.

If you eat an apple pip a tree would grow out of your head

That if I stuck my arms out of the window while at the traffic lights, that I would get sucked inside them and live in a teeny tiny light prison.

That my Dad was best mates with Jason Donovan (he has never met him).

That my Robbie Williams doll came alive at night.

Is this not true? Haha I'm going to have to Google it now.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I believed the cable thing with hoovers…still do tbh

Remember the show Knightmare?

I used to be terrified to that poor kids who were in a room at the end of an episode were stuck there for a whole week until the next episode aired the following week

Ditto Crystal Maze when someone got locked in after failing a challenge. Thought they were on their own for hours and hours!

I thought ‘abroad’ was a place in France 🇫🇷

When I was little if we saw the district nurse in the street with her little case my Mum told me that was her delivering a baby to someone. I believed there was a baby in the bag going to some lucky family 🤣

Oh the classic Center Parcs is a village under a dome.

that if you were pulling a face when the wind changed, it would stay like that.

having to wait an hour after eating before you could go swimming.

oh and when I was about 7 I started with what was most likely tinnitus, but I thought the sounds I could hear were aliens trying to talk to me!

It's not illegal, but it does mess with your night vision when you're driving in the dark.

My dad told me rice pudding was sheep's wool and I believed this for too many years.

@Soubriquet my dad told me that my granny had adopted him when they were children but he'd died

I did know that Bob Marley was dead at this point

However, dad had to eventually explain when we went to Salou and I saw posters of him everywhere and kept saying "why are there so many photos of Uncle Bob?"

He's still referred to as Uncle Bob

When I was at primary school we had to say grace with our eyes shut. I used to think that Jesus appeared while we were saying grace, and if you open your eyes even a little bit he wouldn't come.

I have no idea where I got this from. I don't even remember believing in God or Jesus, except at mealtimes!

If I slept with my socks on, plants would grow from my feet. I have no idea why I thought this!!!

We were always told to move if you sat on the floor in front of the fire because the fire would melt your backbone!

That for every Vienesse whirl you ate, a child in Hanoi got a pair of wellies.
Thanks dad!

Is it not??

That sausage dogs had 6 legs.

That if you lay on the grass and an earwig got in your ear it would burrow into your eardrum and you’d be deaf forever.

That a bidet was to wash your feet in.

All mis-information deliberately fed to me by older brother, except the bidet which was my own presumption, what else could it be for??

I used to think that if you wrote a cheque, that was the money - and so you could just make bank notes by writing cheques in shops….