Stupid things you believed as a child

[Soubriquet]

Remember those aliens in goo, that everyone said if you held them back to back it would make a baby alien.

Or that the furby’s of the 90’s would be able to say your name and people would spend hours trying to teach the furby to talk

I used to believe in crazy things like if my dad could punch and smash the TV, we could all step in to whatever programme was on.

Me too. I wanted to stop Thumbelina being taken by the road

Toad*

That there was a lady at the bank, sitting behind the cashpoint/ATM machine who shoved your money through the slot.

That wasps made mustardn

That twins only had one brain, which they had to share ( no idea where that came from!)
That Cliff Michelmore (who presented the BBC1 evening programme - showing my age) was my uncle. So I said goodnight to him on the TV every night before I went to bed. Many years later my dad met him, and told him. I was mortified

That the canned laughter on tv was the actual sound made by actual people laughing, and if I laughed louder or longer than everyone else I'd be able to hear myself on the telly.

I thought that the world had been in black and white until someone invented colour and used to ask my mum all the time about what kind of celebrations everyone had 'when the colours got switched on'

I also thought that a baby was made when the couple kissed on their wedding day!

I believed Jimmy Saville was a kind man.

My mum is a secondary school history teacher and she has had a student who thought the same, that the past was black and white.

My dad had a car magazine and I remember there being a competition to win a car. He told me it was a car that had no floor, like the flintstones car and that you had to run to make the car move. I completely believed him and became strangely obsessed with this car and used to ask when we were out driving “will you tell me I’d you see one of those cars without a floor?”

He never actually told me the truth about this and it wasn’t until I was in my late teens that I remembered it and suddenly thought “that was a load of rubbish that, wasn’t it!”

I thought when you died they put your coffin in a plane and threw it out onto a cloud. All clouds go to heaven.

This has made me laugh so much! I bet there would have been a lot of pearl clutching in Waitrose!

I thought my dad controlled the cars windscreen wipers with his eyes.

took me way longer than it should have done to work out that he just knew the timings of the movement because he drove so much and he didn’t have magical powers 😅

I was at least a teen when I worked out that cars also had foot controls. I thought that braking was done by thinking hard or something like that.

Babies came out of your belly button

Labour with DC1 was interesting.....

That if the soldier doll souvenirs in a clear plastic tube were taken out they would disappear in a puff of smoke. My mother made us believe that until one day one fell off the shelf and the lid fell off and nothing happened! On challenging our mother she told us she said it to prevent me from taking the rifle off the Welsh Guard and the sword off the Scottish one and poking my sister with them.

She said she wouldn't let me have Kerplunk for the same reason. My sister bought me Kerplunk when I was in my 40s. Despite being a tedious disappointment I didn't have the urge to poke my sister with the sticks.

That a tiny family lived inside the iron it had a green light that came on when it got hot and that meant they were at home

And the French name for dandelion is pissenit - which means 'piss the bed'

pissenlit not pissenit

@BlastedPimples omg The Sandman. I was petrified of him. My mother would say she could hear his bell and if we weren't sleeping he would put sand in our eyes and she would know in the morning because sleep in your eyes was really the Sandman's sand. It's a wonder I'm a well adjusted adult 😜

aged about 4/5/6 i vaguely assumed that people who did the hardest, dirtiest, dangerousest jobs would be paid the most.
because, well, that's only fair, isn't it ?
gradually i became aware of the facts of life, that it isn't fair, at all.

That yellow cars were free, or at least really cheap.

There's a jump bridge over a cycle track (old railway line) near my mums, it had a whole in the wall where you could go down to the track- my Dad used to tell me 'that's where Jack Frost lives' and I believed him for years! 🤣

I believed that Uncle Ben was my Uncle.

I believed that babies were bought from Boots. Because it was a Good Shop.

I believed that the person singing on the cassette was singing just for me, so sometimes I would rewind it to annoy them and make them start again.

I believed the people in the TV could see me like I could see them, and would spend ages trying to make the weather girl laugh.

We have an ancient ice cave in our local children’s park/museum/gardens.

The rumour was that a witch lived in there. Every kid I know avoided that thing. To be fair it still looks creepy even though I know what it is. You can’t go in. There’s big metal bars stopping anyone from going down there but you can still feel the cold and smell the mustiness coming out of it