Urgent help: what to do about trip tomorrow

[Whattodoabouttrip]

DC is 5. As part of holiday club tomorrow they're meant to go to an adventure park 2.5 hours away. DH has only just taken the time to look into it and has said he'd prefer him not to go. It's too far, he won't know anyone, has never been anywhere like this without us, might get lost etc.

I just don't know what to do. DC had been looking forward to it but didn't really know what it entails. They also only know 2 other children at club who won't be there tomorrow which I've not sure they've realised.

I think it's quite a bit undertaking and to be honest I've been very stressed and tearful about it myself but had come to conclusion they'd be fine.

I'm really annoyed DH has only just now decided to chip in.

I'm meant to wake DC at 6am if they're going to go. If I don't wake them up and they wake later and are really upset as they wanted to go, I'm going to feel so guilty.

There's going to be a fallout either way. I have to idea what to do.

My 10 year old wouldn’t even want to go somewhere without us for that far a trip! It’s not unreasonable for you to cancel and with you both off work then you can have a fun family day!
Have a lovely day 😚

I would let my DS go. I know he'd enjoy the trip and it's a good start to doing these things.

I'm sad for him that you've cancelled.

I’d have cancelled as well, I wouldn’t want a 5 hour round trip. Way too much.

That's not normal though!

Im not sure about a 5 year old, but you shouldn't have said no at the last minute. I would take him myself when he wakes up. He can always go home with the holiday club staff.

Yes, make plans to go as a family.
You will love it and be able to cater specifically for your child.

I definitely think you’ve made the right choice . I would have serious concerns about a holiday club that wanted to take 3 to 5 year olds to an adventure park 2. 1/2 hours drive away . We used to manage a pre school trip for 3 to 4 years olds that was a 30 mins coach trip and that was quite far enough , the children would be exhausted by the return journey with many of them asleep .

Thanks, its good to have perspective from someone in a similar situation (med country here too). Some DC do residential trips here at that age too.

Update: DC said "oh but I wanted to go" for about one second and is now really excited saying they're very tired and can we just make a fake trip out of cardboard at home instead and just stay here and watch TV 😂

So they're OK, I still feel very sad for them that they are missing out but I'm more sad than them so that's OK. I'm really enjoying having them home with me and it makes me feel really selfish!

Don’t feel guilty even for a second, you’ve made a right decision. 5 hours round trip at this weather for 3-5 y.o sounds like madness.

Have you paid extra for this? If yes, I wouldn’t ask for money back due to late notice.

Why are you sad for them? It’s far better for them to stay at home with two non working parents and spend some quality time together than spend hours travelling to a trip.

Your DC won’t break if they face a little disappointment once in a while and it sounds like he was fine! but idk why you’re taking on all this guilt! You sound like you’re doing your best for everyone but still worrying and second guessing yourself.

It would literally never have occurred to me in a million years to send my five year old on a theme park trip 2.5 hours away without me or his dad. Seriously, the possibility of doing that wouldn’t have even entered my head. Kids get lost all the time in that kind of situation, not a massive deal at 9 or 10 when they can make their way to a meeting point or something but at five?!! And that’s even without the language barrier. So your husband in my view is absolutely right to veto it but the problem has arisen because your child has been allowed to get excited and think he’s going, before at least one parent has come to their senses. This should have been considered when it was first known about and your child never led to think they were going. It’s going to need a very good treat to compensate.

Agreed. If there's anyone the poster should feel sad for it's the poor 3,4 and 5 year olds who are spending 5 hours of their day today unnecessarily on a bus.

The OPs son will be just fine at home with his parents.

Quite

Send him on the trip. Your DH is being bonkers and infecting you.

I don’t know why they’d be fallout from your DH given he hasn’t raised this till now, but if you are willing you can go with your son to avert it.

If you can’t go with your son, then just crack on as planned.

When you speak to DH put on a concerned face and tell him you’ve slept on it and you thing he needs to see the GP for anxiety (I wouldn’t have to put on the concerned face)

It sounds a long old day for them.

Probably as much travelling as at the adventure park!

Perhaps more fun when older/has a friend to go with?

This.
it sounds perfectly age appropriate and your child is looking forward to it.

if your DH doesn’t want to let him come, then he should be the one to plan the awesome, fun day to make up for the disappointment.

not just plan it, but also do it, obviously.

Ha - I just read your update - I’m glad all is fine.

But on a general note, watch the overprotectiveness. 5 is a good age to start day trips away, like 8 is a good day to try an overnight school trip.

The realty is he’d have enjoyed it and been perfectly safe - and stretched his horizons. They will have adequate staff to look after all the kids. You don’t want to Clip his wings.

Yep no way would I let my 5 year old do this. It’s the distance that is concerning. My 7 year old has spent the last two days in a holiday club and doesn’t know anyone, I wouldn’t be keen about him doing this.

Ooh, missed the update. Fair enough, sounds perfect! :-)

Sure he’ll be fine.

But if he’d gone he’d have had a great adventure - having loads of fun and building his confidence.

Which is a better way to spend a day?

Assuming they are a reputable club (and I am sure they are else OP wouldn’t be using them) they will have adequate staff, the little ones would not be allowed to get lost.

You make the right choice, 2.5 hours each way is just a bit too long for a day trip at this age, although otherwise it sounds like a nice trip for the children.

I’m glad you cancelled. I work with 5 year olds and 5 hours of travel is way too much and I would nt have sent my own at that age. Have a lovely day !

He's 5. Spending 5 hours travelling somewhere isn't fun for anyone let alone a 5 year old. He would be bored out of his mind and likely exhausted on the way back.

Anyone who works with small children would think this trip was a bonkers idea.

I wouldn't have sent a 5 year old on this trip.

Also OP just so you know, as you've used 'them' for most of the post, you have actually used 'him' earlier in your OP so you've already revealed your child's sex - if you don't want this online you might want to get MN to take it down.

I wouldn’t care if it was the done thing in your country as there are things like that in my
country and nobody could get me to agree to send my child on the trip you described .

I don’t mind being called over protective as my child’s safety comes first . My child is 8 and I wouldn’t let them go on that trip.
I also remember being on buses at school
age and the drivers were crazy and it’s stuck with me , then as adult you hear of school bus incidents .
Also the other stuff to take into consideration too.
You did the right thing! Children can’t make the decisions for themselves and get it right but you can .

I see you've cancelled OP, but if I think you should have honoured the arrangement. If the holiday club are happy to take 5 yr olds, they must have provisions (and probably experience) for doing that. At the age of 5 children in the UK already attend school for 6 hours a day, so I don't think going on a day trip would have been a big deal. The staff may have prepared games to okay and activities of some sort on the journey too and the kids would have been chatting along, etc. I don't understand your DH worries about your DC getting lost or communicating in his second language. He wouldn't get lost if he's got adults whose job is to supervise him and you already said he speaks the language fluently.