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Original poster

Urgent help: what to do about trip tomorrow

138 replies

Whattodoabouttrip · 25/07/2023 22:40

DC is 5. As part of holiday club tomorrow they're meant to go to an adventure park 2.5 hours away. DH has only just taken the time to look into it and has said he'd prefer him not to go. It's too far, he won't know anyone, has never been anywhere like this without us, might get lost etc.

I just don't know what to do. DC had been looking forward to it but didn't really know what it entails. They also only know 2 other children at club who won't be there tomorrow which I've not sure they've realised.

I think it's quite a bit undertaking and to be honest I've been very stressed and tearful about it myself but had come to conclusion they'd be fine.

I'm really annoyed DH has only just now decided to chip in.

I'm meant to wake DC at 6am if they're going to go. If I don't wake them up and they wake later and are really upset as they wanted to go, I'm going to feel so guilty.

There's going to be a fallout either way. I have to idea what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whattodoabouttrip · 25/07/2023 23:28

That's interesting actually when you say about going on the trip as a family instead - I wouldn't want to as it's just too far. So I guess that tells me everything. I probably shouldn't put my already overtired 5y old through it either.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 25/07/2023 23:34

That’s an insanely long way for a day out esp at 5! I’d say the norm is 1 hour maximum but usually they just walk to places locally. Gosh my 9 and 11yo would hate a 5 hour round trip and would rather not go.

I guess though the norms are different in the country where you are. At some point you will adapt to them I’m sure but if you don’t feel comfortable, just do something else since you’re both off.

FrenchieF · 26/07/2023 00:28

You’ll feel better now you’ve made the decision not to spend him. It’s an awful long day with people he hardly knows. Enjoy a day together.

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Families
Lucy377 · 26/07/2023 01:25

Bringing 3 and 4 and 5yr olds on a trip that's a 2.5hr journey each way? It's not like they have much to chat about to each other on the journey 😕
I hope there's a toilet on that bus 😬
Sounds like a crazy trip for that age group.

SadSandwich · 26/07/2023 01:33

Trust your instincts it’s too far for a 5-year old - they will be happy with you both t’row.

Doingmybest12 · 26/07/2023 02:37

Both of your parental flakiness began when you booked the trip without thinking of the logistics and suitability until the night before. I presume you still expect to pay due to late cancellation. Just be honest with your child that you realised its too far in a day for him and you'll have a nice day together.

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 26/07/2023 03:16

I would go with my child on the trip. I would never make them miss something they would enjoy, but similarly I would never allow them to go on a trip without me when so young. I too live abroad and encourage my child to experience as much as possible in their second language to encourage them and help them build their confidence!

WandaWonder · 26/07/2023 04:28

NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/07/2023 22:41

Take the kid on the trip. A man's anxieties shouldn't affect a child's age appropriate experiences.

I think the child should go but women's anxieties and hormones get blamed for every so why the double standard?

clpsmum · 26/07/2023 05:15

Why don't you go with him?

FloofCloud · 26/07/2023 05:19

No chance! Five hours driving in one day to go to a play park 😳
I'd be sick with worry too

Codlingmoths · 26/07/2023 05:20

I’d send my dh, since he’s been telling you it will be fine and convinced you wihtout actually having thought about it himself for 60 seconds. You can wake them both up at 6 to go.
I agree it’s too far, but not if his dad is there. I wouldn’t do it myself as a day trip!

toomuchlaundry · 26/07/2023 05:22

Will they be doing similar trips during the rest of the holiday?

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/07/2023 05:31

There is no way my dd would have gone on this trip age 5, by age 8, yes, fine. It is too far. I’d tell your dc they were just so tired and were struggling to wake up and so you have planned something fun as a family.

TerfTalking · 26/07/2023 05:33

Take the kid somewhere else, both of you.

Museya15 · 26/07/2023 06:09

I was all for letting him go but that is way too long a trip.

Original poster
Whattodoabouttrip · 26/07/2023 06:17

Dc is still asleep and I've told holiday club they won't be there. They were very surprised as to every other DC, it's the day they're looking forward to the most!

I'm now feeling awful that DC will be missing out, I do think they'll be disappointed. I just can't win. At least they're resting and hopefully we can make it up to them.

And hopefully they can enjoy the rest of the week at club and not feel like the odd one out.

OP posts:
Eachpeachpears · 26/07/2023 06:18

Absolutely no way on god's green earth would I send my 5 year old on this trip. Bonkers. Then add in the foreign country element and it's just not reasonable at all. Child may be disappointed but you'd be more 'disappointed' if something happened and you couldnt get to them.

MRex · 26/07/2023 06:22

The journey would be too much for my 5yo. It seems a strange set-up, all DS's camps we drop him off where he's staying for the day.

Original poster
Whattodoabouttrip · 26/07/2023 06:34

Exactly @MRex that would be my expectation too . I think it's amazing that they get to do all this stuff though and DC has really been enjoying it so I guess it works, but it's hard to know how far to push DC when it's things they've just never done before.

OP posts:
Matilda762 · 26/07/2023 06:38

Not, too young and in a foreign country.

YourNameGoesHere · 26/07/2023 06:43

I'm really curious as to what country you're in where multiple parents of 3 year olds think 5 hours travel is reasonable for a trip out at a holiday club!

Poor kids are going to be exhausted and you'd basically need a 1-1 ratio for such young children. The bus journey alone would be most people's idea of actual hell.

PerspiringElizabeth · 26/07/2023 06:46

Wow nope I absolutely wouldn’t send my 5 year old 2.5 hours away without me or anyone else they know 😄 not a chance, nope.

pimplebum · 26/07/2023 06:53

For me it would all depend on how much I trusted the carers ? Are they on the ball safety wise are they quick to notice a nervous child and comfort them ? If not then pull out and give him a fun day with mum and dad

CastaniaBlush · 26/07/2023 06:57

Matilda762 · 26/07/2023 06:38

Not, too young and in a foreign country.

It's their mums country so hardly foreign.

Op, I think you have made the right decision. A 5hr round trip is too much for anyone under 10.

We are in a mediterranean country and doing summer camp etc. I have vetoed a park just yesterday as an hour away and I can see how tired my 9yr old is. Sometimes we have to make these decisions. Let your kids sleep and then plan something closer to home.

helpfulperson · 26/07/2023 06:57

It sounds like this type of trip is the cultural norm where you are. I know some European countries do residential trips much earlier than in the UK as well.

Obviously it's your choice but you need to think about other things that may come up where your views are different from the majority on what is age appropriate.

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