Would you inconvenience yourself so a stranger could propose in public?

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

Inspired by the thread of the bloke who proposed to his girlfriend during her graduation ceremony. I shared an anecdote of once being asked by staff to clear an ice rink in the middle of my (expensive) slot as someone wanted to propose to their girlfriend. I refused as did many others as we'd paid and time couldn't be added on to the end (set time slots) and why should I miss 1/4 of my slot so someone I don't even know can propose.

The guy ended up proposing anyway outside the ice rink, I think if someone wants to propose in a way that inconveniences people, they can pay (hiring the ice rink for the hour)?

Anyone been in a similar situation?

I love celebrations, birthdays, parties. I don't understand the Mumsnet reluctance. But the important point is that they must be consensual. It is absolutely not fair to spring a proposal on someone in a way that makes it impossible to refuse.

Fake or genuine this is hilarious -

How much oxygen did you have? That actually sounds a bit dangerous.

I 100% agree with this.

I feel that public proposals are done for attention (obviously) and so the other person can’t say no.

If it’s somewhere like Disneyland then I wouldn’t mind stepping out of the way or taking a photo etc but there’s no way I’d leave an ice rink so they can have the whole thing to themselves.

🤣🤣🤣

Why the hell would you do that?

Christ some people on here are utterly miserable.

@KanyeSouth Because nobody should be put in the position of not being able to say no to a proposal.

Some woman asked me to move at the Trevvi fountain because her boyfriend wanted to propose. They couldn't get a look in with dozens of other couples also proposing.
I moved, but in my defence I was caught off guard.

Christ some people on here are utterly miserable

Can someone explain to me why having a different opinion from a poster on something - summer weather, the desirability or not of heatwaves, public proposals, liking autumn - is always stigmatised as 'miserable'?

Because people on here are saying they would sabotage the proposal. Or tell the woman about to be proposed to.

I agree the public shouldn't be inconvenienced, but doing the above is just downright spiteful. And miserable.

When I got engaged (on a beach at night just me and DH) we where on the plane the next day and some kids (well 18/19/20 year olds) where traveling for one of their birthdays.

They yelled and sang and made a huge noise and fuss the whole 3 hours. I thought the hostesses would shush them but they bloody joined in and put them on the tanoy and tried to force everyone else to sing happy birthday and join in and giving them freebies.

It was fucking infuriating not because I 'wanted' attention but because I would have like to bask quietly in my own life milestone. There where clearly lots of annoyed people (it was hardly a party flight) but the hostess seemed even more oblivious to the death glares that the irritating kids where.

God only knows whats going on in other peoples lives, someone might be flying to their dying parent or something... just some mild awareness needed but some egotists completely lack that.

Isn’t it a bit “not special” if someone’s boyfriend proposes at the same time and place as a whole bunch of other men proposing? It sounds like the Trevi fountain is a conveyer belt of proposals.

Ah right, so you don't have any rationale for it, you just think it's miserable.

Got it.

The whole engagement and dramatic fairytale wedding can just piss right off, go and play Prince and princess on your own, nobody really gives a fuck, about your special day.

"Because people on here are saying they would sabotage the proposal. Or tell the woman about to be proposed to."
It's not the inconvenience to me I mind. It would probably be minimal anyway. I just don't want another woman to be put in the position of not being able to say no.

I'm horsey. He has a reputation among the dressage community for being creepy AF in real life so the proposal was on-brand for him.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain I'm sorry but what 'rational' person would go up to someone and say 'by the way your boyfriend is about to propose?' If you do that then yes, you are bloody miserable.

No 'rationale' about it.

Jog on 😂😂

I totally understand, and agree. But you risk ruining what could be a very happy proposal by judging a very quick moment of 'what if she can't say no' when the chances are she is happy to be proposed to.

No one should sabotage anything. So many people on MN say people should kind their own business.. who's business is it to sabotage a proposal?

S'ok, you've demonstrated you've no rational or thought out reason for calling people miserable because they don't agree with you. So 'jog on' is about the level of response I'd expect.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain if you would kindly like to read my previous reply, there, in writing, is my reason.

S'ok, I expected you not to read it because condescending people don't tend to pay attention to what others say.

Saying Yes to a proposal isn’t some legally binding contract a woman is trapped in.
I doubt vigilantes sabotaging proposals is “saving” anyone.

I mean it’s a running joke that men propose in front of others so “she’s less likely to say No” it’s not to be taken so seriously.

If a woman is in a relationship with a manipulative man with a penchant for coercion, then she’s in a fucked up situation regardless of how he chooses to “trap” her.

I assumed posters were attempting dark humour when they claimed they’d ruin the moment.

Volunteer or donate to a womens refuge if you want to support women fleeing abuse.

Men are often under pressure these days to make a proposal not only a surprise but a “special” memory which has taken great effort.
Some miss the mark and assume shouting their love from the rooftops in front of people will be a grand romantic gesture.

Every bystander is armed with a camera these days to stick a random’s proposal online so the public can mock and jeer at them.

No its not 'funny' its ABUSIVE.

Its much harder to break off after the fact, you will be interogated as to why, judged by people like you who think its 'lighthearted' and even bullied by some of them for it as many will 'pick sides'.

Not to mention the trauma of the moment, have you ever had a public panic attack, where you feel like you are literally dying... now add to that EVERYONE looking at you... Its downright cruel.

Awful. And now she’s had a baby with him too. They did break up for a while and many people in the sport hoped that was the end of it, but no.

What are you basing this conjecture on.- personal experience?

I find it bizarre that you state every man making a public proposal is abusive and the woman is a traumatised victim.

Plenty of women want grand public gestures and plaster their proposal video all over social media- rather nauseating but they can crack on, some people love showing off.

I wouldn’t judge anyone breaking off an engagement. Not sure why you think I would

I wouldn’t mind moving off a skating rink for 5 minutes for some bloke to propose. No one had to watch it if they didn’t want to presumably.

Any man who can't let a woman celebrate her graduation or competition win, without muscling in and making it all about him, is a man not to marry!
And even if the woman wants that kind of public cheesy declaration of live, it so selfish if other people are graduating too!
I used to think this stuff was romantic, but it's not, it's just tacky at best, manipulation at worst! I wonder how many women with these big public displays, actually want to say no.