Who should get the double bed?

[deliciouslooking]

Going on holiday with my brother and family at the end of August. Renting a big house in the highlands.

We have one child, he has three. Rented a large house just so each of ‘kids’ have a room each. There are three bedrooms with a single bed and one with a small double. Two other rooms are ‘girls bedrooms’ so my nieces are happy to have.

Our son is the eldest (22). But his cousin is taller than him at 6ft 2 but (16), when our son is 6ft. Who should get the double bed?

Son doesn’t seem that bothered. But tall cousin has demanded that he get the double bed because he is the tallest. Brother has stated that his son will be getting the double bed.

Out of principle dh thinks our son should say he wants the double bed as he is the eldest. Plus there isn’t much in the height, and both beds are same length.

I think you really need to get a grip on petty arguments like this early on or the holiday is going to be a bit of a misery of point scoring and resentments

A single is half the size of a super king and most adults who sleep with a partner don’t have a super king. So both the boys will be likely getting more space than the adults going on the holiday anyway.

Id draw the names from a hat and then try and have a nice holiday

If the 22 year old is paying towards it then he gets it

if not then get them to play cards or coin toss, that's what we do

I think the boys can work it out between them. Do rooms need to be assigned now? I don't think it's really a big deal for either of them based on height, as long as no footboard. 6'2 isn't massively tall anyway. My dh is 6'5 and has slept in the single bed in the 'kids room' on holiday loads of times when we had a co-sleeping baby or toddler (one holiday he was on the sofa for 2 nights!). I'd say it probably matters more based on the location of the rooms - is one of them likely to be up late and crashing into bed at an hour that's going to wake the younger ones (or you) up? Your brother is being a bit precious and awkward though, as I'd assume that the adults got the double rooms, all things being equal.

Your brother sounds difficult! Is the holiday the best idea? 😬 Because this sounds like it isn’t about who gets the bed, because as you say your DS isn’t actually bothered, but really it’s about not being pushovers and not letting your brother and his son dictate. If it were just about the bed though I’d say flip a coin!

Well you can understand where your nephew got his delightful attitude from. Apples don’t fall far from the tree and all that. I agree with PP the holiday sounds like it could be challenging if this is how your brother’s family act.

I do think an adult should get first dibs over a child but if your son isn’t bothered then does it matter? The whole demanding and entitled show they’re putting on would also have my back up though, and as a point I would have to say that you all paid equally and no one should be demanding anything. The fairest thing would be to toss a coin.

If there's nothing in it size wise suggest a competition between the boys. Arm wrestling or best cook on the first night or something.

I'm tall and fat and can manage a single. Stop being petty, your son doesn't even care.

I get the issue being more the 'demanding' that the actual issue, but if your brother and his son are always like this, more fool you for planning to holiday with them.

Your brother’s attitude would be making me rethink the holiday but that is me projecting as I spent many a holiday with cousins whose parents demanded they got the best of everything at the expense of the rest of us.

Your DH is adding fuel to the flames though. If you want to still go I’d just leave it. I hope you are not paying half though. Assuming it’s a 6 bed house I’d be expecting to pay 1/3 of the cost.

Is your brother going to be like this the whole holiday? Because if so you either put your foot down and say I don’t think you’d offer him your bed just because he’s tall, the boys can toss a coin for it. Or cancel the holiday as it doesn’t sound like fun. I have in laws I won’t holiday with because why spoil a holiday?

What is a ‘girls bedroom’?

One assumes a room decorated in a feminine style but it’s not really relevant to the thread.

With our holidays 'family policy' is whoever books and organises the trip gets first choice of room!. As it's always me we do! Told adult dd when her bf starts joining us we will take turns annually with the en suite room! One year she got the best one because it was closer to dc's room and no way did we want that one. Luckily she did!

On your trip the older dc should get the room.

What is a ‘girls bedroom’?

I was thinking the same. 😅 Pink, flowery and things that allow oestrogen levels to flourish? Dicks fall off men when not sleeping in a blue room adorned with trucks and other man stuff, so I’ve heard. 😉

It sounds like a fucking nightmare if the arguments have already started. Tell your brother to grow up. If your son isn’t bothered though, does it matter?

Isn’t it? Interesting that the girls aren’t even in the running for the room with the double bed; it’s become some sort of dick-swinging contest between two lads and their fathers - but that’s ok because there are ‘girls bedrooms’.

Your son isn't bothered so I don't know why you are making an issue of it.

The demanding attitude of the cousin and his Dad is annoying but the 2 inches extra in height can make a massive difference. My DH is 6ft 2 and finds it very hard to sleep comfortably in a single bed. A small double allows him to sleep slightly diagonally.

I think you should cancel the holiday.

it's going to be one argument after the other and a ton of Ill feeling.

Suggest they swap halfway through

The adult gets the double.

If your son doesn't care and is the shorter, then I wouldn't make this into an argument. Presumably the rooms are not otherwise identical in all other ways, so he might get e.g. more space or more storage.

Why make a big deal about it if your DS doesn't care and your nephew does? It seems petty. None of the children who presumably haven't paid for the rooms have any more rights to it than the others so it makes sense for it to go to the one who actually cares.

I agree that your brother and nephew sound annoying but as you're spending a whole holiday with them it's not worth making an issue of when you don't need to.

Frankly I would reconsider not going on holiday with a controlling brother

Whoever gets there first and shouts "BAGSY" obviously

Could whoever gets the bigger bed pay a bit more?

If your son isn't bothered then that's fine. Maybe agree that the next holiday, they swap and he gets his pick of rooms. Are you sure you want to be going on holiday with your brother?!