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Original poster

Who should get the double bed?

90 replies

deliciouslooking · 17/07/2023 09:40

Going on holiday with my brother and family at the end of August. Renting a big house in the highlands.

We have one child, he has three. Rented a large house just so each of ‘kids’ have a room each. There are three bedrooms with a single bed and one with a small double. Two other rooms are ‘girls bedrooms’ so my nieces are happy to have.

Our son is the eldest (22). But his cousin is taller than him at 6ft 2 but (16), when our son is 6ft. Who should get the double bed?

Son doesn’t seem that bothered. But tall cousin has demanded that he get the double bed because he is the tallest. Brother has stated that his son will be getting the double bed.

Out of principle dh thinks our son should say he wants the double bed as he is the eldest. Plus there isn’t much in the height, and both beds are same length.

OP posts:
mrsm43s · 17/07/2023 10:58

Whilst I wouldn't like the demanding going on, being tall is a far better reason for having the larger bed than being a few years older. I can't see the correlation between age and bed size - I can see the correlation between height/size and bed size.

BigBoysDontCry · 17/07/2023 11:05

Are you going half share on the cost?

For me if we count each bed space then I presume you and brother together with spouses have a double each so 2 bed spaces each. If your DS has the double then that's also 2 bed spaces meaning your family uses 4 from 9 so nearly half so fair enough. If your DS has a single then that's 3 from 9 so only a third so you should pay only a third of the cost.

Would that make your brother have a rethink?

caringcarer · 17/07/2023 11:07

It depends on how costs are being split. Your brother's family has 4 bedrooms (3 for children and 1 for your brother) you are having 2 bedrooms one for your child and one for you. If the brother is paying 2/3 of the cost of the house I'd let his son have a double bed. If you are paying for 1/2 of a house then your son gets it on the basis you are paying more per bedroom than your brother. I'd not like a 16 year old making demands before we even get there either.

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user1471538283 · 17/07/2023 11:09

We stayed in a house some time ago and my bfs nephew actively chose the single because it was a more cosy room. Bless.

If your son isn't bothered I wouldn't be. It's the insisting that I wouldn't like. It sounds like hard work.

viques · 17/07/2023 11:09

Can’t wait until the discussions about who sits where in the cars start!

user1471538283 · 17/07/2023 11:10

The money is a good point however! You only pay for the spaces you use! Bet your brother will change his mind then ...

Clymene · 17/07/2023 11:10

They should toss a coin for it.

Maddy70 · 17/07/2023 11:14

Jesus of you are arguing about this you define shouldn't be going away together. They pull straws end of

redskytwonight · 17/07/2023 11:16

The rooms are unlikely to be otherwise identical anyway. Maybe one will have more space or more storage or better WiFi ...

But in general, I agree that taller person should get the double. Can't see what age has to do with it, unless the 22 year old has paid more than the 16 year old, in which case they should get first choice.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 17/07/2023 11:20

Are you paying the same amount as your brother? If so your son should get the double as he's getting 4 rooms to your 2.

Besides which your DS is an adult and isn't being a rude entitled brat.

StampOnTheGround · 17/07/2023 11:21

The 22 year old is an adult, the 16 year old is a child - clearly the adult gets the double bed.

mrsm43s · 17/07/2023 11:25

StampOnTheGround · 17/07/2023 11:21

The 22 year old is an adult, the 16 year old is a child - clearly the adult gets the double bed.

Why?

Meeting · 17/07/2023 11:31

If this is how things are before you've even gone, it is not going to be a good holiday.

Your son doesn't care and you are trying to cause problems just for the sake of it. No doubt a drop feed is imminent.

MargosMangos · 17/07/2023 11:35

mrsm43s · 17/07/2023 10:58

Whilst I wouldn't like the demanding going on, being tall is a far better reason for having the larger bed than being a few years older. I can't see the correlation between age and bed size - I can see the correlation between height/size and bed size.

Quite agree , I'm the youngest and have always had this-that the eldest gets first choice
It's bollocks as I'll always be the youngest, I can't change that

aSofaNearYou · 17/07/2023 11:43

Quite agree , I'm the youngest and have always had this-that the eldest gets first choice
It's bollocks as I'll always be the youngest, I can't change that

Completely agree with this, I've always been quite vocal about not liking the "eldest should get the best" mentality. You see it all the time on here with things like bedrooms and people can never explain it beyond, "it's just the done thing". It's not how I do things and I find it to be very strange, traditional favouring of the eldest child.

That said, I think your brothers attitude seems poor here. I think his son may as well have the bedroom as yours isn't bothered, but all of this "demanding" he should have it, and requiring a massive house so three kids can have their own rooms seems spoilt and rude. I would not have booked a place big enough so the kids could have a room each, the two boys and two girls would be sharing. I sincerely hope he is paying more than you since he's the one with three kids!

BigBoysDontCry · 17/07/2023 11:45

Also, it depends on whether the beds have footboards. We are a tall family, DH is 6'2, DSs are 6'4 and 6'3. Only a king bed is actually longer (although my two have old style IKEA beds that are longer than a normal double). If the beds have a footboard then they prefer a wider bed to sleep diagonally. If the single has no footboard then they are fine.

Obviously they would prefer a double upwards with no footboard for ultimate comfort.

I just never book anywhere where they would have to have a single with a footboard.

I'm 5'9/10 and I still prefer no footboard if possible.

CurlewKate · 17/07/2023 12:22

I predict a disastrous holiday. @deliciouslooking - take a lot of good books and your walking boots. Find a lovely sun trap well away from the house with a thermos and a hip flask....

SoupDragon · 17/07/2023 12:24

Your son doesn't care. Why would you make an issue out of it?

afuckinggoat · 17/07/2023 13:42

A standard UK double and a single are both the same length at 190cm.

redskytwonight · 17/07/2023 14:07

afuckinggoat · 17/07/2023 13:42

A standard UK double and a single are both the same length at 190cm.

The crucial thing is that in a small double you can get extra length by lying diagonally.

My DS is 6 foot 3. He has to curl up to sleep in a normal single whereas he can stretch out in a small double.

Nowitstarts · 17/07/2023 14:09

So the person it actually concerns isn't in the least bit bothered but you/DH want to create a drama of it before you even set off?

It might be best to cancel the holiday.

SunRainStorm · 17/07/2023 14:36

Coin toss.

Don't let your holiday start off on a sour note.

TimesRwo · 17/07/2023 14:38

You and your DH are being so unbelievably petty. Your DS doesn’t care, so why are you looking to cause a fuss.

Pick your battles.

rookiemere · 17/07/2023 17:34

Toss a coin. Unless your DS is actual paying for his own holiday then he gets treated equally to a younger DC.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 17/07/2023 17:55

To me it’d seem fair for the taller one to have it. At least he can lie slightly more diagonally. Not that a small double is much better than a single IIRC from the one at DM’s - only 6 inches difference.

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