Please help make me feel better 😢

[Sad728]

I have been seeing this guy for around 2 months now. Neither of us have talked about what is going on, but he can blow pretty hot and cold and I think it is just casual…

Last night I ended up getting really drunk and I messaged him quite a lot. He didn’t want to know…. despite the previous night I let him come round to my house when he was drunk!

I regret the messaging and calling, I really do, and I have apologised. But, there is such double standards. Everything is on his terms. And now he’s just left me on read and I feel terrible.

The hangover won’t be helping, but I feel so used and upset which I think is an indication that I have caught feelings.

I know I need to ditch him, but I can’t seem to let go? I have this awful feeling that he will just ghost me and I’ll never hear from him again which would be mega hurtful after we have slept with each other a lot.

Does anyone have any advice on how to best handle this? How do I get over the panic / stress of potentially just being completely ghosted?

Please don’t respond if it’s going to be harsh. I know I have things to work on, but nobody’s perfect and I am feeling fragile 🥺

Not whilst you keep it at the forefront of your thinking.

In the kindest way, you need to keep busy, and put this to the back of your mind. It know, it hurts like crap to be discarded, but you are going to have to help yourself here a bit.

Stop giving him priority in your head. He doesn't deserve it. Its his loss. Remember that.....it is his loss. Now you have to move on.

OP I can absolutely guarantee that this time next year you will be completely indifferent about him.

Op at this point it's probably not actually about him. It's about starting again, losing hope, self confidence etc.

Try and be kind to yourself, stop dwelling on what ifs, because this guy had shown you that you've actually had a lucky escape.

Then work on things that do make you happy 💐

Yes. It's undignified and won't help him to respect to or others in the future. You already know he won't care. He will at best ignore it and at worst laugh about it, maybe even post it online somewhere. Write it all down in a letter to him, be true to yourself, then burn it or rip it to pieces - don't send it. It's the writing of it that will help you, not him reading it.

I’ve finally deleted him. Fuck him.

Well done! That's the attitude!

That will send a clearer message than anything, in my opinion.

Well done!

Chin up, get busy, if you find yourself thinking wistfully of him try imagining him with truly dreadful teeth or dandruff, or remember something awful he did. Keep replacing good memories with bad ones.

Worked for me

I don’t think your comments are helpful. I assume op has found everybody else’s helpful so doesn’t really need yours. Perhaps move off this thread.

Well she seems to have found some pride, so that is great!

Perhaps don't be thread police? Some of us have been through what OP has been through, and think that tough love is what's required.

Hopefully you are feeling better but this popped up on my instagram which you may find useful still.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cu46mCFP_d_/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Thank you. If I am honest I still feel like utter shit. Coming up to a week soon of no contact and I’d thought I’d feel better by now. But nope, if anything I feel worse.

Some people on here probably think I am being pathetic. And maybe I am. But I am trying to move on and forget but I am just finding it really tough and still find it hard how one day someone can be messaging you and wanting to come over and the next they don’t want to know. It hurts.

OP a week is nothing. Your expectations are too high. There is no "quick fix" in grieving.

Just remember that this WILL pass - grief has stages and you are very very early in it.

As I posted above I promise that you will feel indifferent about him this time next year.

@BMW6 thank you. You’re right. All my brain wants to do though is receive a message from him. It’s so silly.