Is the guest rude?

[pinkoverall]

If someone invite a friend over for dinner for 6pm but then the friend calls at around 5pm and says they haven't finished work (wfh) yet and would come at 8pm instead of 6, would you find that rude or normal?

I’d be saying sorry. Too late.

Okay, thank you x

same - I'd be saying don't bother coming. are you the guest?

If it's a one off I'd think it was one of those things - we've all found ourselves stuck late at work on the odd occasion.

If she has form for this I'd consider her flakey.

With an hour to go I would say yes, it's not good manners.

Depends.

My sister or best friend, "ok no worries."

A not that close or new friend "er no we'll have to reschedule then."

It doesn't matter what I think, it matters what the host thinks! If it suited me to move my dinner plans to 8pm then I would, but that's generally in the middle of bedtime in our house so I'd have no problem suggesting that we rearrange. Although if it was my mum/dad/sister etc they could just come whenever they wanted and reheat their portion

Even working from home, I have had occasions where I couldn't finish on time. Something came up that had to be dealt with, however, 8 would be too late to eat for me. Maybe suggest not bothering with the meal

Depends. Is it some sort of unexpected work disaster that they need to fix? Are they super apologetic?

I’d be in bed by 9 so they could come if they eat fast! 😆

Yes it’s inconsiderate & rude.

I took would say “ Im ever so sorry but that doesn’t really work for me/us. Let’s make it another time when you’re not under so much pressure. Get back to
me when you can send a window of opportunity.”

That leaves the ball in their court. Stand back & see what unfolds.

Rude

also arriving late enough that really they should just be calling to cancel if they can’t arrive in a timely fashion

It depends on how flaky they are generally, and also what their jobs. If you think there's any kind of choice in the matter then they are being rude.

You could eat the dinner and put the rest in the freezer and tell them to come round for a drink at 8 pm

Wretched typos. Sorry. Hope it makes sense!

Wow yes, that's very rude. Are you the rude one OP or on the receiving end of it? It's rotten to do that so late in the day.

Well they were decent enough to give an hours notice I suppose.

Depends a bit on the person and the job. If it’s a high pressure situation with a deadline that has to be met, and the person is generally reliable then give them the benefit of the doubt. If not, then it’s rude.

I don't know that it's rude, but I think it's fine to say if it doesn't work for you.

What were you having for dinner? Do they know? It would be rude if they knew you were making something elaborate and we're likely to have started cooking already

I’d be OK with it.

If it was 6.30 fair enough, but not 8!

If they asked and explained why - probably ok

Sounds like she just told you though. Id not having any of that

If an emergency had occurred I would be understanding but ask them not to come.

Otherwise they are being rude.

says they haven't finished work (wfh) yet and would come at 8pm instead of 6

Rude to just inform the host you'll be arriving 3 hours late.

Apologising and asking if 8pm would suit the host, not rude. Sometimes things happen out of our control, if this is that sort of situation then it can't be helped. But I'd be prepared to be told no, it doesn't suit, and meal either cancelled or postponed.

Sorry, 2 hours!

Honestly there are too many unknown variables here.

How well do you know them? Is it a casual dinner? Do you have children to get to bed? Did you make an effort? Do you stay up late? Are there other people coming anyway? Is the earth flat? That kind of thing.