Is the guest rude?

[pinkoverall]

If someone invite a friend over for dinner for 6pm but then the friend calls at around 5pm and says they haven't finished work (wfh) yet and would come at 8pm instead of 6, would you find that rude or normal?

If DH finishes at 5, it takes 20 mins to drive to ex -friends' house, 10 mins to shower and change. Was he WFH? If not 30 mins to get home. Depending on the commute, it's a squeeze but perfectly doable.

@EmpressaurusOfCats

I wasn't judging the hosts here - I'm just surprised that op's partner agreed to that time in the first place, especially if he has a job that involves short notice deadlines and is slow at getting out the door.

He was never going to be on time, was he?

He wasn’t. And I agree with you!

I'm guessing your H rarely cooks or has much to do with preparations for entertaining?

I'd be utterly mortified if he were my OH. This is way beyond rude.

It's neither rude or normal. I'd listen to what they had to say and establish why they have to work late. I'd also consider what sort of night/meal was planned
Eg a close friend telling me they've just got to get this report in before Monday and won't be free till 7:30/8 I might suggest 'shall we give it a miss' or say, yes that's fine, lasagne n garlic bread can wait but don't be too late I'm starving. I wouldn't be too bothered.
If I'm planning more of a dinner party and there are other guests that different. If it was urgent I might say shall I save you something, but if they'd just decided to do some overtime or were working different hours to accomodate their partner I'd be pissed off.
Context is everything

Who invites someone for dinner at 6? *missing the point entirely

I wouldn't have finished my work by 6 let alone got changed and gone to someone's for dinner!

@Maddy70

And who are these people who actively make dinner plans that mean they need to finish work, have a shower, get dressed, and get out the door in 10 minutes?

I can't even do this when I've overslept and need to catch a bus.

I'd like to see how this goes.

He sounds like my DH. Not the lateness, but the inflexibility and inability to process what you tell him.

You are aware of a problem that he's missing, and instead of listening to you and amending his behaviour, he's telling you it's fine, stop fussing.

Winds me up.

I think it was ridiculous to invite someone for dinner at 6pm on a workday. Most people in professional jobs aren't home by that time. I'd never accept an invitation for 6pm.

The rudeness was in not saying it was too early when the invitation was issued.

From your OP, my thinking was, it was rude, and if I were the host I'd have said not to come.

Then, after your fist update, my response was, as a pp : It's very rude. Is your husband usually so ill mannered and self centred?

Each update makes him so much worse.

I mean, in the first place, if it were something really unavoidable - of which there has been no indication this is - your dh should have rung them, with profuse apologies saying that he couldn't make it until {say} 7.30, so should you postpone ? and given the hosts the opportunity to agree to cancel or to say, they could delay things until then. NOT just messaged and announced he was going to be so late.
Then all he needed was a two minute wash and put a fresh shirt on, if that. You say 'wfh' - I'm going to presume not as a mechanic or plasterer? In which case I doubt if he could be so dirty as to need 40mins to get ready.

The whole video thing makes me start to believe this must be made up. No-one can be that unaware.

"I think it was ridiculous to invite someone for dinner at 6pm on a workday. Most people in professional jobs aren't home by that time. I'd never accept an invitation for 6pm."

😂 "professional jobs" goodness me

"Most people in professional jobs".

I think you have limited knowledge of "professional jobs". People work all sorts of different hours, and, without a commute can often be a lot more flexible than those who need to be "being seen" in an office, and then needing to commute.

This. I wouldn’t have gone, what your DH has done OP is beyond rude and I wouldn’t have wanted to be a part of his inability to organise himself. He was running late, spent 40 minutes in the shower and put a video on? How entitled is he? As a host I’d have said we need to rearrange the dinner then not rearranged, my time is important and I would refuse to host anyone in future who is a dick.

Brutally honest- I'm just here to see what happened! But yes, given the full catalogue which has now been shared, he's a tosser.

That's very rude, and personally too close to bedtime!

I’m in a professional job - as is everyone I know, because we’re professional professionals with big girls’ and boys’ professional jobs. The great thing about our oh so professional jobs is that we work from home or have flexibility that allows us to finish early when needed. 6pm is perfectly doable for us professional types 😂

🤣professionals cant eat dinner before 6pm. Good old mumsnet.

It is true…we melt if we do 😂

@pinkoverall

Come on. Tell us how the evening went.