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Original poster

Is the guest rude?

94 replies

pinkoverall · 14/07/2023 18:47

If someone invite a friend over for dinner for 6pm but then the friend calls at around 5pm and says they haven't finished work (wfh) yet and would come at 8pm instead of 6, would you find that rude or normal?

OP posts:
DahliaMacNamara · 14/07/2023 19:41

I'd accept, but be annoyed, at the work emergency. However, these things happen. Taking more than half an hour to freshen up and change in the circumstances, though, is taking the piss out of the hosts. I wouldn't expect you to be a single minute later than your new ETA.

HunkaMunkasslipper · 14/07/2023 19:43

I think It's very rude too.
They might have made a big effort with dinner. It might be ruined if they have to keep warm/reheat. They've probably palnned their evening around this say you arrive at 1800, eat at 1830, done by 1900 have a couple of drinks/chats then you leave in time for them to get cleaned up and get to bed. Now that's all got to be rethought out. Nope.

A few minutes late, fine. Even half an hour if something has happened (unexpected work deadline etc) but not TWO HOURS! That's very very rude when someone is cooking for you!

Original poster
pinkoverall · 14/07/2023 19:44

DahliaMacNamara · 14/07/2023 19:41

I'd accept, but be annoyed, at the work emergency. However, these things happen. Taking more than half an hour to freshen up and change in the circumstances, though, is taking the piss out of the hosts. I wouldn't expect you to be a single minute later than your new ETA.

He just messaged them that he would be late again.
He just jumped in the shower and they live a 20 minute drive away.
I'm really cross.

OP posts:

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Jux · 14/07/2023 19:49

Gosh, these friends are very polite and very forgiving. I hope you're taking a very fine bottle!

TBH, I'd have rescheduled long ago.

ikno · 14/07/2023 19:50

I wouldn’t mind as I’d expect them to be staying until late anyway, but I am a young adult and it’s the weekend so I don’t need them to leave by a certain time.

ikno · 14/07/2023 19:52

Oh I’ve just read all your posts. I assumed you were referencing proper friends but it seems like the relationship is closer to being acquaintances? That does change things for me

itsmylife7 · 14/07/2023 19:52

I would let him go on his own.

Karrpt · 14/07/2023 19:54

Oh my god. They invited you for dinner at 6 and you're turning up at 9pm? Wtf. Mortifying

wutheringkites · 14/07/2023 19:54

I would be furious if he did this to me but I do place a lot of value on people being on time.

But... who arranges a 6pm dinner on a work night if you have a 9-5 and need to get ready/ drive somewhere? It probably should have been arranged for 7pm in the first place.

Mariposista · 14/07/2023 19:54

I am cringing for you OP. This is incredibly rude, and it isn't your fault at all.

NotOnYourNellies · 14/07/2023 20:00

If I were the host I'd have said we'd have reschedule as that would really annoy me - without planning to do that
If I was the guest I'd apologise profusely and suggest I hosted next time to try and make up for it
If he still plans on going take good wine, flowers and chocolates

Original poster
pinkoverall · 14/07/2023 20:03

NotOnYourNellies · 14/07/2023 20:00

If I were the host I'd have said we'd have reschedule as that would really annoy me - without planning to do that
If I was the guest I'd apologise profusely and suggest I hosted next time to try and make up for it
If he still plans on going take good wine, flowers and chocolates

Yep, grabbed some to give them when we arrive.
I'll offer to host next time and schedule an invite, good idea! thank you
He put some video on to watch while getting ready so I don't think he's got a sense of urgency at all

OP posts:
Alongthe · 14/07/2023 20:07

A video! In which case I hope the hosts are reading this and make him wash the pots and pans at least!

Karrpt · 14/07/2023 20:10

"He put some video on to watch while getting ready so I don't think he's got a sense of urgency at all"

What a self important prick.

VisionsOfSplendour · 14/07/2023 20:12

Is this behaviour something new ?

wutheringkites · 14/07/2023 20:12

Does he have form for this?

determinedtomakethiswork · 14/07/2023 20:12

Your husband is incredibly rude. When you have guests, does he actually do the cooking himself?

SirChenjins · 14/07/2023 20:16

This is so rude and beyond the usual social norms that there has to be something more. Does he exhibit similar behaviour and rudeness at work?

I feel so sorry for you OP, how mortifying. You’re not going with him are you?

AutumnCrow · 14/07/2023 20:18

This is slightly unbelievable, but yet I have met men like this in RL.

But please don't be a 'wet lettuce wife'. Either go without him, or don't go. Stop enabling his unbearable rudeness, pomposity and arrogance.

BillyNoM8s · 14/07/2023 20:20

If I were you, I would've gone ahead without him. I wouldn't let his bad manners drag me down with him.

I definitely wouldn't invite him back if i were the hosts. What if they'd already chucked something in the oven? Embarrassingly rude.

Ponderingwindow · 14/07/2023 20:26

This would trigger my anxiety so badly I wouldn’t be able to attend. If I tried it would either be a full blown panic attack or at least an IBS episode. Either way, I’d have to just stay home.

zurala · 14/07/2023 20:33

Good grief. I'd have ripped him a new one by now, and left without him. You are both so rude! I don't think you should go now, they can't possibly still want you to go so late. Why are you letting him behave like this?

ifonlyicouldthinkstraight · 14/07/2023 20:34

That's a pretty casual attitude he's got. What am I saying? It's arrogant and inconsiderate and disrespectful. How do you put up with him?

Theraffarian · 14/07/2023 20:43

Will be interesting to see how the evening panned out , got to be honest if I was the host I would have cancelled when he said you would be two hours late in the first place , mainly because I would have already have been cooking at 5pm for a 6pm dinner and no way would the food still be edible two hours after I planned. By 9pm I’d be off to bed and not opening the door , and normally I open it to anyone 🤣

EmpressaurusOfCats · 14/07/2023 20:49

wutheringkites · 14/07/2023 19:54

I would be furious if he did this to me but I do place a lot of value on people being on time.

But... who arranges a 6pm dinner on a work night if you have a 9-5 and need to get ready/ drive somewhere? It probably should have been arranged for 7pm in the first place.

But then you say when invited that you don’t think you can make it that early.

The second time your husband said he was going to be late I’d have told him not to bother, OP.

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