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Original poster

Would you wait to ttc to avoid a summer birthday

186 replies

justthinkingxx · 12/07/2023 22:15

We want to try towards the end of this year and if we are lucky straightaway that would mean a summer birthday. I read it on here on other threads that people think it is the worst time to be born in, for the place in school year above all else

I can see some advantages though like maybe being off school for your birthday , always having good birthday weather , and importantly whilst cost of living is so high you would pay nearly a year less of childcare fees when lots of the first year of school is relaxed and play based anyway , so best of both worlds only you’re not paying for it ?

We’re in our mid20s so can wait if summer is truly disadvantageous !

OP posts:
Summermeadowflowers · 13/07/2023 08:31

With that being said though the people with a summer born who say they would have waited - you do know if you had that wouldn’t be your child, right?!

I have a December 2020 baby and I wouldn’t want any other because they wouldn’t be him!

LBOCS2 · 13/07/2023 08:36

DSS is a summer baby (16 next week) and has just finished his GCSEs with a raft of predicted 8s and 9s. However, I do also remember him starting at school nursery and us rushing to get him to wipe his own bum efficiently, as he was only 3 and 3 months when he went.

The gap feels big when they're tiny as it's such a large proportion of their lives; so many skills get learned in a tiny space of time. It gets smaller as they age. It also depends on their personalities a lot - my November born would 100% have been ready to start school the year before, and was well away by the time she got there!

We broadly tried to time it but DD1 was due in the same pay month as Christmas and our wedding anniversary so we were quite lucky she came early in the end! Unless you're actively avoiding months of the year (rather than weeks) I'm not sure how effective it'll be and of course there are no guarantees when it comes to conception and birth! DD2 is an April baby as I didn't want to be pregnant on my 30th, so we started trying immediately afterwards (in May) and got pregnant quite quickly.

mummylife123 · 13/07/2023 08:39

Dorkwillow · 12/07/2023 23:01

Not to avoid a summer birthday but we’ve just had a chat and agreed to pause on ttc number 2 for a few months because we got Taylor Swift tickets yesterday for next June 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😂

This is so valid! 🤣

Beezknees · 13/07/2023 08:44

No, I wouldn't. I find it weird that people fixate on stuff like that.

bookworm14 · 13/07/2023 08:49

I find the attitude to summer-born children on here - as if it’s some kind of curse - utterly bonkers. Does anyone know or care who is ‘summer born’ in adult life? My DD is August-born and doing very well at school. And frankly, after two miscarriages, when we conceived her I was just glad to have a healthy baby and didn’t give a toss about her birth month.

Beezknees · 13/07/2023 08:52

bookworm14 · 13/07/2023 08:49

I find the attitude to summer-born children on here - as if it’s some kind of curse - utterly bonkers. Does anyone know or care who is ‘summer born’ in adult life? My DD is August-born and doing very well at school. And frankly, after two miscarriages, when we conceived her I was just glad to have a healthy baby and didn’t give a toss about her birth month.

It's so odd! My DS is February but I can't imagine being so highly strung over what month my child is born. Do they think all summer borns fail in life?

Duttercup · 13/07/2023 08:55

I've an August baby and it's honestly never occurred to me that it's an issue.

Padam · 13/07/2023 09:12

Growing up with an Xmas Day sibling, December was the only month we actively avoided. Didn't really want anything too close to Xmas at all. (My sibling was due in January but arrived early.)
Feel very lucky to have an early autumn dc1 and late spring dc2. Mostly, though, I just feel very lucky to have two children at all, so had one of them landed at Xmas, I'm sure I'd have made it fabulous for them (and their sibling).

Summer1912 · 13/07/2023 09:21

I have 2 summer borns.
And I would say it makes a further difference academically socially and with sport.
SATs results week this week. And eldest is likely to not get the exceeding in maths. And they will be set according to these and GCSE predictions.
17% of Sept borne in 2022 exams got exceeding in everything. Only 7% of august.

Being eldest is no guarantee, but much of uk education is based on progress so if they start low only low expectations.
Older ones obviously move up in other activities earlier in scouts/guides etc

DespiteBeingSummerBorn · 13/07/2023 09:22

There are only positives to summer birthdays (my birthday is 31st August, and all my DC are June-August). The weather stands a good chance of being nice, lovely long, light evenings, flowers, grass - it's the absolute best time of year to be born and to have babies.

We are all academic high-flyers, too. It is absolutely not an issue.

WaterBaby9 · 13/07/2023 09:39

I think its a real non issue. If it was 'truly disasterous' everybody would abort or be celibate during times where a summer baby could be born no? There are august babies who do well at school and september babies who dont. The weather can be shit any day of the year in england, im in july and it usually rains on my birthday. People in the winter moan about being close to christmas, january everyones skint. Its really no biggie or life changing whatever month anyones born in.

WaterBaby9 · 13/07/2023 09:41

WaterBaby9 · 13/07/2023 09:39

I think its a real non issue. If it was 'truly disasterous' everybody would abort or be celibate during times where a summer baby could be born no? There are august babies who do well at school and september babies who dont. The weather can be shit any day of the year in england, im in july and it usually rains on my birthday. People in the winter moan about being close to christmas, january everyones skint. Its really no biggie or life changing whatever month anyones born in.

disadvantageous*

Moveoverdarlin · 13/07/2023 09:45

If you’re young and don’t foresee any problems, then I would wait.

August birthdays are great for the weather but parties are often problematic because so many people are away. One of my DS classmates has just invited everyone to a pool party in August and so far 10 can’t attend, because everyone is away. The birthday boy is gutted and so are all the kids who can’t go.

Happygot · 13/07/2023 09:46

I didn’t time mine at all due to miscarriages etc but my second ended up being a December baby - I’m already finding that more annoying as it’s so close to Christmas! Sometimes you can’t time it. For what it’s worth (I’m in my 30’s now) but thinking back to school days, there is no difference in success in life between summer and autumn babies at all. My best friend was an august baby - late august and she is in a good career now and even at school didn’t seem behind the others. Another friend from senior school was a July baby and she did 2 degrees at Oxbridge and is now a doctor! Also had fab summer birthday parties outdoors…

3sthemagicnumber · 13/07/2023 09:56

June birthday here, and it's mostly served me well. I was top of my class at school, went to Oxford etc. I remember being very glad as a kid that I was 'ahead of the game' as young in my year - that I was a bit further through school etc relative to my age as I just wanted to get it done with. I think a summer birthday is a bit of a pain occasionally (exam years; the bit where your friends are 18 and you're not), but all dates have benefits and drawbacks.

My kids were born in March and September (x2). March birthday is fine - occasionally she's postponed her birthday party to the summer (e.g. year she went to a waterpark), but I can't think of any other impact it's had.

September largely has been fine too - they enjoyed being the eldest in their class at primary. The birthdays just after a big transition (e.g. starting school) were a bit tricky to know how to do them, but that's all I can think of.

September birthdays are twins, born by planned C section. My consultant (who had two preschoolers) asked me if I wanted them born at the end of August (to save on childcare) or at the start of September (to be eldest in class with its assumed advantages). I'd never given it a lot of thought before. We went for September because that was the optimum date in terms of gestation rather than because we wanted them to be ahead of the game at school!

Landndialamrhf · 13/07/2023 10:10

logistically it might take ages to conceive and your child could also arrive several months early. If you have more than one child will you time them all to be close to each other at the right time of year. That has problems too.
surely there are pros and cons to either way?
a winter birthday means it’s expensive each winter if you celebrate other holidays like Christmas. As well as not being able to buy winter/summer gifts for each occasion, or gifts that suit your child’s changing abilities or interests quite as easily throughout the year. More childcare costs and risks of a bored disruptive child when they start school.
summer means a slightly higher chance your child might struggle a bit at school, and have birthday parties during the summer holidays when no one’s around.

im really surprised to see pp tried to time or avoid any particular months. It feels like a false sense of control to me. If I was going to avoid any months though it would probably be December and January!

Hellomaisie · 13/07/2023 10:13

Yes there is so much to be said for outdoor summer birthday parties!! Cheaper as well!

OP I really wouldn’t overthink it. If your baby is born in august and you don’t think they’re ready for school you can always defer them anyway.

Geranium1984 · 13/07/2023 10:21

My DS is 2yo, turning 3 in mid August. He is having to start pre school in sept and I'm really worried he isn't ready. He still needs a nap (which they don't do) and has only just been toilet trained, so still having lots of accidents. They are required to be toilet trained and be able to wipe their own bum to start at this school.
DD is born in November and so will almost be 4 by the time she starts at the same preschool and will be fine with everything required by this age.
If we try for a third baby I will consider avoiding an August birthday.
Though, I imagine it'll be about 6 months of a really tough time getting used to this new school then he will fit in fine.
Not bothered about birthday parties.... for his 1st birthday I organised a big outdoor bash and it was thunderstorms all day so we had to cancel.

Sprogonthetyne · 13/07/2023 10:59

In my mid 20's I would wait, chances are higher you'll get pregnant pretty quickly once you start trying. If you were older, or had reason to think you would struggle to conceive, then I'd get on it straight away.

The coat of nursery thing is less of a factor because they get 30h funded nursery from the term after they turn 3, so autumn babies get 5 terms while summer babies only get 3. My 3yo is currently at school nursery doing the same hour's as school age kids for free, but doesn't start reception until 2024.

Summer birthday's are great when their preschoolers and you can have a party in the garden, but once they get to school it's really hard to organise class party's as everyone's away, or has just fogotten in the month since you last saw them.

Minimooncat · 13/07/2023 11:03

I have a late Aug and an early Sept. So 2 years age diff but only 1 school year. Sept one can coast along and finds the work easy but Aug one is fine too. I don't think her life is ruined!

Metooyou · 13/07/2023 11:05

I’m in Scotland so we have it the opposite way round (start of March is the cut off). I have a Christmas birthday and have always hated it and hated the fact you go all year without presents then need to think of enough things for two gifts and as much as my parents tried not to, it did end up often being ‘this is for your birthday and Christmas’. For this reason I wanted my child to have a summer birthday (or at least the 4/5 months in the middle of the year). We tried for 3 and 4 months for our two children so it did happen relatively quickly and they are both in the middle of the year but I was already thinking ahead and did want to put TTC on hold for the months it would mean a November-February birthday. I think there are way more options for birthday parties, especially parties/things to do that don’t cost so much in the summer compared to the winter.

The main downside is the school year thing though. I’m not sure what England is like but a lot of kids here are now deferred if they’re in that situation.

PalmLady · 13/07/2023 11:08

If people are that worried about summer born children struggling at school then why not hold them back a year? You can do it with children born May-August. Summer is a lovely time to have a birthday - and although it can feel like a massive age difference in the first few years of primary, it soon becomes negligible as they grow older.

noglow · 13/07/2023 11:10

No and I think its a really weird thing to do

Hollyppp · 13/07/2023 11:11

I absolutely hate my November birthday. It’s dark and rains every year. DH is a couple of weeks later and both agree it’s rubbish.
DC1 was unplanned and has a mid sept birthday (only a toddler now), I think this will do him well in life. He’s had some lovely sunny birthdays in the garden already.

DC2 we were aiming for a March birthday but conceiving took a fair bit longer, we have an august due date. I now couldn’t care less as I was so worried after 5-6months of trying that something was wrong. At least she will have lovely sunny birthdays :)

meganorks · 13/07/2023 11:12

I didn't think about it at all and both of mine are summer babies. One has always been be very academically advanced and aced the 11+. The second has been a bit behind but has caught up this year. I would say there personalities have more to do with how well they did in school than their age.

The advantage of summer babies is that it's a shorter wait till they start school so less childcare costs.

You could delay starting a few months if you want, but really, there are a lot of things outside your control.