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Original poster

Would you wait to ttc to avoid a summer birthday

186 replies

justthinkingxx · 12/07/2023 22:15

We want to try towards the end of this year and if we are lucky straightaway that would mean a summer birthday. I read it on here on other threads that people think it is the worst time to be born in, for the place in school year above all else

I can see some advantages though like maybe being off school for your birthday , always having good birthday weather , and importantly whilst cost of living is so high you would pay nearly a year less of childcare fees when lots of the first year of school is relaxed and play based anyway , so best of both worlds only you’re not paying for it ?

We’re in our mid20s so can wait if summer is truly disadvantageous !

OP posts:
justanothermummma · 12/07/2023 22:58

We have one July baby and one October baby.
Although July baby seemed little to be starting school, it was fine, her school reports show she's achieving in all areas and even exceeding in some. To be honest, October baby is more frustrating as she'll essentially have to wait a year before Reception starting after turning 4 so we have longer of childcare costs and she'll be more than ready to start school.
It's impossible to plan when you want baby to be born, it will happen when it happens!
But no impact here re Summer baby. Although being heavily pregnant on hot days is vile 😂.

ConfusedinOctober · 12/07/2023 22:59

I have a September baby and its honestly not ideal. There was upset when summer born nursery friends went to school a year ahead, there's several months between them and the next in age and because they have been at nursery so long, they are so bored of it and have been for months. Not to mention the extra childcare costs. I wasn't aiming for September, it was a surprise baby but I really don't understand why it's considered desirable.

Fwiw, I have a summer birthday and always loved it. I did great at school.

Dorkwillow · 12/07/2023 23:01

Not to avoid a summer birthday but we’ve just had a chat and agreed to pause on ttc number 2 for a few months because we got Taylor Swift tickets yesterday for next June 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😂

grass321 · 13/07/2023 06:49

It doesn't make much difference past primary school. But I remember my (May born) son telling me that they did a hands up on birthdays in the top maths set and 90% were born September to December.

The head of the local football club told me the same thing was true for their first teams.

That's not to say people aren't successful if they're born later in the year and it had evened out by year five. But it can make a big difference initially, particularly when some kids are nearly a year older than others. It's natural that they tend to be ahead academically, physically and emotionally.

My second son was born in November and he found primary school much easier than his brother. Crap for birthday parties though!

Monkeybutt1 · 13/07/2023 06:53

I have a July birthday and it always pisses it down without fail on my birthday.

Meadowfly · 13/07/2023 06:55

I’m glad my parents didn’t avoid the summer or I wouldn’t be here! Not an issue at school. A quarter of people are born in the summer so it’s hardly a rarity, and not special in any way. November/dec/feb/March are the most boring months for birthdays (based on the rest of my family) either going to school or too near Xmas.

Simplelobsterhat · 13/07/2023 06:59

We avoided a second December birthday when TTC the second time round because we already had one dd close to Xmas, and a nephew close to Xmas and couldn't face another because it's so busy! Which is silly really but we also weren't in a rush. Ds is may which is a lovely time for a birthday - no waiting a year for more presents! Sometimes sunny on birthday (although often not!). My June born cousin has pointed out there will be a few years in his teens when birthdays are messed up by exams though!

There's never an ideal time, but if it's just school and academics that worry you, there is no guarantee an autumn baby will be academic and no guarantee a summer born won't be! I had friends in primary who were 2st September and 31st August birthdays so literally a year difference in she and I'd say they got on great and were both in top groups etc in school. The difference seems big the first couple of years but is unnoticeable by KS2 usually.

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 13/07/2023 07:10

Both of mine are summer babies. It honestly never occurred to me that it was a problem. Lots of scope for outdoor parties etc. We have loads of photos of birthday outings with friends in lovely weather.

There was virtually no difference when they started school although both could read by then which helped. Both ended up with first class degrees and have successful careers. The best friend of one was born on 30 August and was the highest achieving child all through secondary.

It might be something to get stressed about for a term or two but honestly, in the context of their whole lives, it is more or less irrelevant.

CocoPlum · 13/07/2023 07:18

I have a late August baby who was ... a surprise conception! He was due v early Sept so we never knew which school year he'd be in.

He's done well in school but now there are more councils willing to defer summer borns a year, so you have that option.

You also just don't know how it go - when we started TTC first baby if it went well we were looking at a winter birthday, but it took several months.

I find it weird when people talk about having a summer baby meaning you can have outdoor parties etc - this is the UK, better to have a winter baby and KNOW you're having the party indoors than needing a contingency plan. The weather for both my summer babies has varied wildly, look at the weather we've had recently. 2 weeks ago I was pulling on a jumper and socks, 3 days later it was sweltering!

Good luck!

fgsstopbs · 13/07/2023 07:20

I have children born in June, August and December. Honestly it makes no difference as they get older. My August born is probably a little better at school than my other two.

Ostryga · 13/07/2023 07:22

I have a January baby and honestly it’s a nightmare for birthdays. So soon after Christmas everyone is tired and skint. She always has her birthday party in the summer.

In her class the birthdays are spread throughout the year and there is no notice Le difference in abilities due to when they were born.

cptartapp · 13/07/2023 07:34

Yes. We did this twice.
It does statistically make a difference, right up until their late teens with driving, drinking etc.

Peony654 · 13/07/2023 07:39

There’s pros and cons to all months. There’s no guarantee when TTC so I wouldn’t try and control it

StampOnTheGround · 13/07/2023 07:43

I was an August baby, top set for everything at school (the stigma attached to summer babies and struggling at school just isn't true in my experience, the likelihood is they may have struggled a bit anyway but it is used as an excuse!) and I also loved having my birthday in the summer holidays!

Mushroo · 13/07/2023 07:50

Yes we did - we started trying for a September baby with the view if we hadn’t conceived by the following July / august we would just crack on.

However be careful what you wish for as I’m now due New Year’s Day which is the worst birthday ever!

Allthecatseverywhereallatonce · 13/07/2023 07:56

Don't understand this at all. I am an August baby and have 2 dc 1 November and 1 July. Never thought about it and its never caused any problems at all 🤔. Very odd indeed.

StillWantingADog · 13/07/2023 07:59

Well ideally I would have done but it took 3 years non stop ttc - baby arrived in august. No regrets at all. He’ll never go to school on his birthday which is a big plus in his eyes. Birthday party has always worked out fine. The only thing he’s annoyed about is that he can’t move from cubs to scouts until next year when he’s 10.5 while his pals have gone already

mondaytosunday · 13/07/2023 08:13

I have a summer bien stepson (August) and son (late July). They both started school the year they were four. They could never have birthdays at the time of their actual birthdays as everyone would be away - I did my son's early July. I don't think kids care about the possible good weather. plus many birthday activities are inside. They do seem only a bit bothered by the fact they don't have parties near their births.
I'm not sure why there would be a years less childcare fees - your child will need looking after for the same amount of years?
My second child (and coincidentally my other stepson) were both Spring babies. Is it a coincidence also that they were both more academically able? I think Spring is good - weather is nicer for your maternity leave, for one thing.
I'd 'try' and conceive for a Spring birth, earliest late February to late May, so start TTC in June (bit late now). Or if you want an autumn baby start in January. But also don't get so hung up on it - Mother Nature has a way with messing with your best made plans!

Summermeadowflowers · 13/07/2023 08:18

I honestly don’t think it will do any harm to pause TTC for a couple of months. I do think there’s a tendency on here to behave as though it’s a bit either or though - school years aren’t September and October borns and then July and august; there’s a big range in the middle!

x2boys · 13/07/2023 08:18

No.because it could take months or even years to.conceive or you could conceive straight away
Its not an exact science .

PetLove · 13/07/2023 08:20

No LOL.

babies come when they want. You never think it could happen to you.

(3 months early in my case)

lndnbrdge91 · 13/07/2023 08:22

Having a new born in winter when the daylight is so short is hell for sleep deprivation. This is also something to think about.

anon199900 · 13/07/2023 08:23

Nah I wouldn’t. We have two July babies and one January. Naturally the Jan born was more ready for school etc and is sitting towards the top end of class… however one of our july born children again isn’t behind his peers emotionally or physically at all, the opposite in fact. The other one you can tell he is young.

Summer birthdays are the best and having baby in summer is far nicer than winter. Those night feeds in the early days are better, you’re not cold and the second or third feed is normally in daylight

Summermeadowflowers · 13/07/2023 08:30

And it’s definitely true that some people take a long time TTC and that babies can and do arrive early. But again, I do think we sometimes lose sight of the fact that in the majority of cases - particularly given the age of the OP - this doesn’t happen.

It is very much on my mind as I am 39 weeks! Apparently 57.5% (no idea where that .5 comes from) of babies are born between 39 and 41 weeks, so well over half. Then another 26% between 37 and 38 weeks and 6.5 at week 41 or later. So it’s easy to read MN and think that babies coming at three months early is really common - of course I am not saying that it does not happen but it isn’t what usually happens. 90% of women having a baby will have him or her at 37 weeks or later.

Again, if someone does run into long term difficulties with TTC then it’s unlikely pausing for a couple of months will make a huge amount of difference to that.

Cabbagesandcustard · 13/07/2023 08:30

My daughter is in Year 13 and has just finished her A levels but isn't 18 for a few more weeks.
She's finding being the youngest of her cohort very annoying this summer, missing out on social things and holidays that she's not legally allowed to do because she's not yet 18.
I feel so bad for her and would have waited, if I knew then what I know now (though I never had any issues conceiving, so I guess it's easy for me to say that).