Anyone else feel like they wouldn’t want to have a life again?

[Sundaysighs]

Just thinking this, I’m very fortunate, have a good marriage, jobs, adult children who are good people with nice lives. No financial worries.

I had a mixed childhood, some good times but a mother with mental health and alcohol issues, father ‘nice’ but not really caring to our needs, all he wanted was an easy life and no hassle from our mother.

But, I hope there’s no such thing as reincarnation. I wouldn’t want to live again, life is generally hard work. Working full time, housekeeping, we have nice holidays but that’s not real life. I just feel like what’s the point in all this, we are born to work unless very lucky. There’s bereavement, loss of loved ones, pets, yes there are high points with births but even that results in the hard work of child rearing.

Im 50 this year, I find it hard to see the point, I feel almost guilty for having children, to bring them into this world where they’ll spend their lives working. They may suffer loss, ill health - who knows?

what’s the actual point to all of this. And I know I’m actually VERY lucky to have a home that’s paid for, a good marriage and no money worries. There are people with far less who probably literally work to be able to live. What’s the point in all of this?

I don’t believe in reincarnation, but if I did, I’d like to come back as a cat with a very indulgent owner. 😻

Having been comparatively very lucky in this life, I certainly wouldn’t want to come back as a woman in a very poor country, especially not one with a very misogynistic culture where they practise FGM, etc.

I’m fairly ancient now and must say I don’t like the way the world is going, so I won’t be altogether sorry when it’s time to leave it. I do worry about what sort of world our little Gdcs are going to inherit, though.

OP, I feel the same as you. I’m 50 and have enjoyed my life, but the thought of doing it again fills me with horror. I don’t think I’m depressed, I think it’s more that I realise it has been really hard work. I’m lucky I have a great husband and 2 children both almost adults, who often make me very proud but god it’s been hard. My job (NHS) has been an absolute slog if I’m honest for an average income. Due to an auto immune condition that started in my forties, it’s unlikely my health with see me through to a grand old age. So I think it will be a miracle if I reach retirement. I’m very aware that I’m just in the rat race until I die and that makes me wonder what it’s all for.

If you are reincarnated you wouldn't remember your previous existence.
Many religions believe it centers around spiritual.growth to. reach the highest state.

It's about Spiritual lessons and undoing previous earthly mistakes to gain awareness.

I feel like this and pretty sure I’m not depressed (I’ve had depression before).

I have a good life, and I hope I live a long time. Wonderful DH, a generally interesting job that pays well, a gorgeous dog, supportive family and a small group of close friends, hobbies I enjoy, a couple of nice holidays every year, beautiful home where I feel happy.

But I don’t think I’d want to be reincarnated. Many in this world aren’t as fortunate as me. One of my main reasons for not having DC is that I wouldn’t want them to experience the stress life brings, and I definitely don’t think the world will be a nice place in the future.

One life, this life, is enough for me.

I think every successive generation has it considerably harder than the previous so yes it is easy to question the point of it all.

A friend once said the point to living is procreation and finding a spiritual meaning. I have lost interest in faiths having tried 3 over the years. I think multi faith is the best approach and trying to live well with others without being a drudge. I am pleased I have raised ds well but boy it has been so hard as I have had such little help.

God I think I would want to do my life again?

Don't get me wrong there have been really difficult times. I'm lucky to do a job that I enjoy, but working is still a massive slog. But there's so many great moments in life.

I'm not sure if I'd want to be reincarnated in someone else's life. There's a big risk in where and what might happen. But as a general thought I'd love to live my life again.

You don't have to be depressed about anything to be depressed OP. You can be depressed even though on paper your life is great

No, I am with you OP.
I have been very lucky, but it’s such a slog. I wouldn’t do it again.

I hate my life. I can’t wait for it to be over. Only reason it isn’t is because of my child. I 10000000% don’t want to live it over again; kind of hope to come back in a better way next time!

You are absolutely right op. There is no point. No idea why people want to medicalise that and call it depression. And of course your children will suffer ill health and loss. Every person who lives long enough to develop self awareness suffers loss and ill health.
Do the things that make you happy I guess. Try and live in the present.

No I certainly wouldn't want to be born today, or a child/teenager in 2023. I think young people have it a lot harder than my generation and I'm only in my late 30s.

I'm with you op.

I'm not depressed but I totally get what you mean. There is no point to life. I mean, the point of my life is my family but what is the point of their lives or anyone's life? What is the point of human existence?

I don't have a religion and don't believe in God as such but there has to be more than a pointless existence, and the ongoing cycle of life.

All these posters saying that they feel the same way BUT don’t have depression

all I can say is that I don’t feel the same as the Op. and from the outside looking in… this sure as heck sounds like depression to me

I know what you mean.

I was reading some fanfiction where everyone went to heaven and you just lived forever with the people you love.

I thought it sounded exhausting. I don't want to have to do it all again, I'm sad my brother died but I wouldn't want to spend eternity negotiating who gets to spend Christmas with mom and dad again.

What if the people you love don't love you, or the other way around? I'm quite fond of DH but I wouldn't want to spend eternity with him but would end up doing it not to hurt his feelings!

I'm not looking forward to being dead but once it's done I want it to be done!

@Fillyourshoes but a difference in viewpoint or opinion isn't necessarily depression. People can have a different outlook.

I feel the very opposite of this, as if “Life piled on life / Were all too little” as Tennyson put it.

I agree you sound depressed, op, or possibly peri-menopausal. Might be worth a chat with the gp.

This different viewpoint is that life is a “chore” to be endured and never repeated

does that sound like anything other than depression?

Does there have to be a point though? Why does there have to be a point to human existence?

I feel like the point of life is just life. Describing life as pointless doesn't exactly sound like not depressed.

Look, there isn't a point. Accepting that is the key to freedom!

I create my own meaning and point.

I'm not sure I would want to live life again though if it were a conscious second life. I would spend my whole life searching for DH and my children as I cannot comprehend life without them.

If I lived life again but unconsciously I wouldn't care, I would just be living again as if for the first time. No issues there really.

Absolutely, although for different reasons to the OP. I muddle along and enjoy life whilst trying not to think too hard about it but the very premise of life torments me, jostling for space and resources on this overcrowded planet. I get that all animal species do the same but humans are revolting and way too numerous and I'd rather not be a part of the problem.

If you have older children living at home OP couldn’t they start paying some housekeeping so you can take your foot off the pedal a bit? Give the adult kids more responsibility.
Lifes about the day to day stuff to make you happy - who you come home to at night, what you eat for breakfast, little treats here and there. Do you ever treat yourself to a little date night with hubby eg cinema and a quick bite to eat, day out in the car somewhere nice for a walk.

It really does look like depression from the outside. Why does life need to have a point to it - why can’t we just be and enjoy the small day to day things that come to us.

I'm not depressed. I've had severe depression before and I'm very in tune with my mental health.

I get enjoyment out of things, that's not what I'm saying. I recently had a great holiday which I really enjoyed, but looking at the bigger picture there was no point to my holiday. It's hard to put into writing what I mean.

I think like pp said, accepting there is no point is the key. However I think a lot, too much probably, and I like pondering these questions.

I feel like this. If I could have had a choice of whether to be born or not before conception, I would have chosen not.

In the grand scheme of things I am lucky to have been born in the UK at the time I was, it could have been worse as life in other parts of the world can be much much harder. We 'only' work 8 hours or so a day in comparison.

I would hate to live my own life again and deal with school and adolescence in particular, which tbh I found a harder time than my work life so far.

Reading through all this, it sounds that it's not so much their lives that people find pointless and depressing, it's their work.

Yet thread after thread on MN, reflecting society as a whole, emphasises the importance of work- any work- as both a measure of status in society and self worth.

We've got this seriously wrong somewhere, haven't we?

If I think of myself living in suburbia for the rest of my life I get depressed. I have always moved around. However, my children demanded we stay put for their senior years at school. Hopefully, University for them next year and we will be moving on again. They’ll always have a bedroom just not sure where it will be. I also dread a painful death so I will be moving somewhere I can more easily access euthanasia if I get the opportunity to plan my death accordingly. As for my name I start each day thankful but I struggle to understand the meaning of why we exist. I just know we do so I take pleasure in the little things. I watched a huge bumblebee buzzing around my garden yesterday feeding in my flowers. I love bumble bees 🐝. My children also make me happy most of the time!