What would you tell your 40 year old self?

[loyganroyal]

Approaching 40 and keen to hear from women and mums in their 50s and beyond, how can these next 10 years be great and full of joy, no regrets!

This picture sums up my 40s so far…

Eat slightly less cake.
Get hrt sooner.
Other than that you're golden.
I started 40 feeling fairly morose but was much more contented with myself and my life by 50. Deaths of various people close to me and COVID taught me that in the main, now is as good as it gets.

If you are happy with the way life is, embrace it. If you are not, it is not too late to make radical changes.
Try to look after your health as best you can. Get fitter if you need to (even if you don't want to because you will appreciate it in a decade or so). Take notice of any changes which might be concerning and make sure a health care professional takes you seriously.

Go onto hrt. Don't suffer night sweats 😂

Just realised that sounded a bit depressing. I would also tell my 40 year old self that I was about to have the best decade of my life, meet some fantastic people and have the confidence I wanted when I was younger.

Oh wow!

You are fucking young. Get on with everything you want to do.

I'm 48 so not 10 years on from 40 yet.

In the last 8 years, I have visibly aged. I started having gray hair and I'm slightly long sighted. I'm likely to need varifocal glasses when I'm 50s.

I have no pains or aches yet, so don't let anyone scare you about this. However, I'm not overweight, so that might be a factor.

I am in a much better place mentally in my 40s compared to my 30s. I'm happy with my job, my house and my family.

Oh and I no longer care what others think. I don't compare myself to others anymore. I am much more confident compared to my younger self.

Leave him now.

You will find yourself again.

Don't trust anyone at work.

Stop wasting energy thinking you are old, you are still young.
Make time for yourself to exercise and eat well. Don't waste money on 'stuff'. Spend what you can on your pension and overpaying your mortgage where you can.
Train your kids to be independent both for themselves and to release you. When you are released, do things that you love whatever they are. So many women around me have invested so much time in their kids. They don't know what they want themselves.
Good luck, I also know a lot of women in their 50s and 60s who are at their peak. Happy living their own lives and not running around after others.

My 40s have been the best years of my life.
You really do have no fucks left, I can’t describe how liberating that is.
What I would say:
Do one big, out of comfort zone thing every year. Sea kayaking, photography course, climb a mountain, run a marathon, read 52 books in a year, learn to knit, whatever you fancy. We don’t really have new year’s resolutions anymore, just do one thing a year.

For a lot of us, the 40s coincide with the end of 24/7 motherhood. It’s a time when you go: WHO am I? So used to put everyone’s needs before ours, take some time and see what YOUR needs are.

Stretch every day. Pilates, yoga, a 10 min YouTube stretching routine. You need this.

Friendship is more important in your 40’s than when you were in your 20’s. Cultivate your friendships.

Go for that promotion. Or that job.

Go on HRT. Nap in the afternoon.

Change your eating habits, your metabolism has slowed down.

Yup, everything is going south, you need to lift weights.

Don’t let your world become small, expand your horizons, keep up with the technology, say yes more.

Your demanding baby will grow into the most loving, sweet child.

Start yoga BEFORE your body starts creaking

Be nice and kind to your hair, because the slide into menopause fucks it.

A switch will flick and you'll no longer give any fucks what people think of you. Especially men.

Cut down on the sugar. Your body will thank you for it you'll crave it though, even if you didn't before.

Lift weights. You'll wish you had done it sooner.

I would add do take up some form of exercise. Yoga, pilates or weightlifting. This will stand to you long term

Great thread

Even though you've always been able to eat whatever you want, when you want to, it's not necessarily always going to be that way as you age.

LTB

Have a party and celebrate being 40. I felt depressed being 40 and didn't want to celebrate. Wish I had now! Even photos of yourself you don't like now you will wonder why you didn't like them when you are 50. You are young - enjoy yourself!

Be prepared for some big changes
In the way you think
In hobbies and interests
In your stamina and memory (thanks peri)
And adjust to your new normal instead of fighting it. By that I mean be kind to yourself.

I hit 40, and it gave me the jmpetus to leave my abusive marriage. I'd been wanting to for years, but it was the thought of being stuck for ever in the situation once I was in my 40s that really gave me the kick up the arse I needed.

So I'd say to my 40 yr old self: well done, it was totally worth it!

Following. I’ll be 45 in 2 months and have a 4.5 year old and a 2.5 year old so long bloody slog yet until I can think about myself but started dieting and C210k last week and stuck to it so far. Am at home with the DC on Tuesdays so cannot bloody wait until DH home tonight so I can go for a “run”

I’ve got a few years until I’m 40 but in that decade I’m going to prioritise,

Friendships and connections- they will be fundamental as the kids start growing up and having their own lives

Teeth- basically I can’t afford to replace them so look after them!

Exercise- get fit and healthy, use the muscles or loose them. Work at staying slim as it gets harder to loose weight as you age so don’t put it on in the first place.

Finical independence- I’ve been lucky enough to get away with this so far but need to be able to support me and my kids on my own and take over the mortgage if I need to- I’d rather be prepared than left destitute

Move your body more, definitely. Exercise more and eat better. When you read that you really need to look after yourself more in your 40s, believe it, you just can't get away with the same shit that you could in your 20s and 30s. Don't put it off either, don't 'I'll start Monday', do it now.

Look after your skin. Moisturise, moisturise, moisturise.

Spend time with the people you love, doing things that you love.

Don't stay in a relationship that doesn't make you happy.

Agreed!

❤️

I'm 52. I had my last baby just before I was 43.

Things I wish I'd done sooner include;

Lifting weights,

Reducing carbs,

Getting HRT,

Seeing the hygienist every 3 months,

Going part time at work,

Reducing the alcohol intake.

Apart from that I've made time for friends, taken up new hobbies, made sure I did things I love (gigs, theatre, swimming in the sea).