DH's funeral tomorrow..

[ShortHairedGeneral]

How on earth do I survive it?

No advice, as I haven’t lost a husband. Just want to say sorry for your loss. I have heard from those who have lost someone close that the funeral is a particularly difficult day, however is an important part of processing the grief. I guess just allow yourself to do whatever you need to do to survive it.
Sending you strength

One step and one breath at a time.
Im so sorry for your loss.

A good friend recently suffered the same loss, and I was amazed at how she got through the day of the funeral. In her words though she just had to- no choice. Which I guess is true. She did say she didn’t put any pressure on herself for the day… no readings or greeting guests etc. She just had to show up, breathe remain there for the service.

Hi Short, so sorry to hear what you are going through. Do you have family to support you? My only thoughts would be don’t hold back your emotions for fear of making others sadder. I hope it goes as peacefully as possible and everyone knows what a fabulous man he was. 💐

Ah love, I'm so sorry 💐

I’m sorry, I don’t have the answer, it’s must be an absolutely dreadful time for you. I’m so sorry for your loss 💐

Thanks everyone. I'm really dreading it.

Have you got support around you? X

I'm so sorry, OP.

Remember you're there for him, and not for anyone else. Don't feel like you've got to speak to anyone, or stay after. Go straight home if that's what you want. It's not your job to make anyone else feel better. Put yourself first for the entire day.

I'd have a get in-get out strategy and I'd ask my closest friends to help facilitate it.

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. We lost my dad (59) four years ago and it was so awful. I would say though, mum found the dread in the build up to the funeral almost harder than the actual funeral. There was a big turn out and I think mum was so relieved it had gone well / was over that the wake afterwards did really feel like a celebration of his life.

so sorry for your loss.a friend of mine got through her husbands funeral by having a couple of us ready to interrupt and get her away from hard conversations, we had a wee code and jumped in when we saw she needed us

We buried my mother last week. I was supported by the love of the people who came to the funeral. Don’t get drawn in to comforting the other mourners or having to tell them what happened. When my father died, my DD took my phone away from me for a week and dealt with all calls and emails. That helped a lot.

So sorry for your loss xx

I have family there to support me, so I won't be alone.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m in Aus, so if you can’t sleep and you want to talk about him, I’m up for ages. A huge, virtual hug from down under.

Oh goodness, my heart is breaking for you. You have my sincerest condolences and thoughts 💐

I said goodbye to a close family member a year ago (anniversary is coming up) and it was terrible but i guess fair to say the build up was worse in a way.

I cried more than I thought I even could and I felt more drained for a while afterwards but somehow was comforted in sharing the grief with others instead of hiding away at home.

I wish you all the love possible and hope it goes well. Just don't put pressure on yourself either way. Xxx

I'm sorry for your loss. Xx

Oh I’m so sorry 💐
I got through a funeral of a close relative (not a dh) by just feeling enveloped in love and support from everyone in the room. People were so kind and continue to be so.
For me the funeral wasn’t the hardest day surprisingly, I cried a lot but it was a day of sharing memories and overall a grateful feeling for having them in our lives even though their life had been cut very short. The hardest day was collecting the ashes. I was on my own - I would urge you to maybe take someone with you if you find yourself in this situation.
I don’t know your circumstances but I hope you have a circle of love and good wishes.
Sending support across the waves of MN 💐

My lovely partner of nearly 30yrs died a few years ago at 55yrs of age.
I decided during the arrangements, it was to be ' his ' day and I would hold my head high , his proud other half .
Got to the church and knew it was full of all his friends ,relatives and other townspeople.
At the door in , I just froze ! Couldn't go in ! Minister came forward and took my hand , and it was a very poignant ' send off ' for him . Desperately held myself together and came through it .
My heart goes out to you, and will think if you tomorrow x

I'm so sorry OP. I've had to do this same thing and I didn't know how I'd get through it. In the end, I didn't shed a tear and was very stoic. I don't know how old your children are but I think I was distracted by my concern for them. The hardest parts were when they placed the lid on the casket (it felt so final) and at the end, following the casket out (also very final). Somehow you will get through. I think I'd done a lot of my crying at home, so didn't have to at the funeral. I hope something of my experience might help you.

I don't have any advice but couldn't read and run. Sending you an unmumsnetty hug.

So sorry for your loss.
I've not been through losing a spouse, only a parent, and no amount of platitudes or cliches helped, it's just utterly, utterly shit.
The Megan Devine book "it's ok that you're not ok" may help, but sending strength to get through tomorrow and the coming days.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. My only advice would be to do whatever is right for you to get yourself through it, even if it means not talking to anyone, leaving the wake early (or not attending). You are there for you and your husband, not to put on a brave face or offer comfort to others there (unless you want to do those things obviously!). Thinking of you.

You'll get through it OP, one minute at a time. Try to feel the love in the room for both you and DH, it will bring some comfort. So so sorry xx

Come back and tell us how you got on if you like, feel free to unload/vent here.

I have no idea how you will do this. But you will. I am so sorry I can't imagine how you feel xx