DH's funeral tomorrow..

[ShortHairedGeneral]

How on earth do I survive it?

You will find an inner strength. I did

I have been there. I too dreaded it. But to be honest it went by in a daze - I sort of switched off as my way of coping. I can remember very little of it.

It was heartening that people said kind things about him, and I remember a bit of that.

You will get through it - I know it seems impossible just now, but truly you will. Sending a hand hold.

Oh my love, I’m so sorry for your troubles. I can’t imagine your pain but I wish you so much strength x

Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry. My dad died when I was a child and I just remember my mum going through the motions at the funeral, she's said since that she just focused on practicalities and took it one minute at a time.

Lean on everyone else. Don't feel you have to behave in a particular way. Sending you a handhold OP

Would you like to tell us about him?

I also lost my DH. You survive it by going through the motions and most of the day will feel like a bad dream and surreal. We are stronger than we EVER believe ourselves to be. It will all take a lot of time and healing, but you will laugh again one day and be happy again one day. Hang in there and just take one day at a time. Sending my heartfelt condolences 💖

I'm so sorry for your loss.

You will find a way to get through it somehow. I just wanted to add to the other comments by saying there is no single right way, and everyone will understand and be feeling for you. I've been to a couple of funerals this year, at one the spouse was very upset, at the other the spouse was almost cheerful in a robotic sort of 'being the host' way. Both perfectly normal ways to cope with a difficult day and devastating loss. Whatever you do will be fine.

I’m so sorry @ShortHairedGeneral. My lovely DH died almost 3 years ago and it is the most indescribable pain, I hate to think of anyone going through it.

If it helps at all, I found the funeral a comfort, in a weird way. I don’t remember much about it but it was a relief once it was over. And it was good to be able to really get it out, grieve openly and unabashedly. It helped a little.

And for the record, things will ease. It will become more bearable to carry. Not now, but one day. Slowly.

Sending you love.

A close friend went through this recently. She said she got a weird adrenaline rush / strength from somewhere on the day of his funeral that carried her through.
i think that the energy of all those people who adored her dh coming together really lifted her.

sending you my deepest sympathies and best wishes @ShortHairedGeneral. Grief is the price of love, but how special to know love.

Hi @ShortHairedGeneral i'm so sorry for your loss 😔
Sending you lots of strength to get through tomorrow xx

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost my DM in the last 12 months. I wrote and read her eulogy and it gave me peace to talk about the love we shared.

So many people spoke of such love of my DM it was a peaceful sad day.

Thinking of you tomorrow

It is coming up to 6 years since I buried my beloved husband of 40 years, and this Monday I will bury my mother. Just before we left the house for the funeral of my husband DS said to me “we are only going to do this once, so let’s make a good job of it”. That gave me the backbone to get through the day. I offer it to you as advice. It did work for me. You have my sympathy my dear….. it does get easier with time.

Moment by moment.
Focus on your breathing, deep breath in and then a long, slow exhale.

I remember sitting in the car before my DS's funeral bawling my eyes out absolutely sure that I couldn't get through it, but somehow we did. You've already survived other tough days and you will survive tomorrow too.

Sending you so much strength and love. I hope the day is as gentle as possible.

I am so sorry you lost your husband. 💐

I'm so sorry OP. I'm not sure of the answer but I wanted to offer a handhold and .

I am so sorry for your loss xxx

I have not lost a DH, but my brother in law who was young when he died and we was close, id known him since he was 11 to aged 35. We all just leaned on each other during the funeral, holding hands, hugs, tears, talking about him, all this really helped get through the day. I really am so sorry for your loss, I hope you can find comfort through your family and friends being a support for you x

Thinking of you OP. On the day of my twin's funeral (35) we laughed, we cried, we held hands. I have no idea how we got through it, me & dad did the eulogy. You do it because you have to but be gentle to yourself, have trusted people on the look out and, if push comes to shove, don't look up or speak to people you don't want to/can't. He was your DH not theirs, breath by breath, minute by minute, hour by hour and eventually day by day.

I’m so sorry for your loss.
I can’t speak from experience but if it were me I’d ask for support from those closest to me and I would carry myself with as much dignity as I could muster in honour of my husband. My heart goes out to you. X

Thinking of you 💐

Thank you all so much. I will carry your kindness with me too 💐

Thinking of you today @ShortHairedGeneral <3

Wishing you all the best for today. You will be in my thoughts

You are in my thoughts today. Feel the love that surrounds you and take it one minute, one breath at a time