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Original poster

Has anyone else had any stupid injuries lately?

139 replies

InjuryTime · 05/07/2023 19:37

I tried to squash a small tin of Heinz beans to put it in the recycling and my thumb split open. I didn't even cut it on the lid, it just burst open from the pressure. It took over an hour and a half before it stopped bleeding. Now it's bloody painful.

I'm thinking of suing Heinz for trauma,(Not really)

Has anyone else done anything similarly foolish?

OP posts:
KnittedCardi · 05/07/2023 22:57

On the upside..... No stings 😂

BlowDryRat · 05/07/2023 22:58

During the really hot weather recently I thought I'd be a fun mum and take the DC to the local aqua park (inflatable obstacle course floating on a lake). For some reason, I decided to slide down an obstacle head-first, with my arms out straight to brace for landing. Half a second later, I luckily reacted fast enough to narrowly avoid a dislocated shoulder. I still had to tell the DC that Mum needed two minutes, while I rocked back and forth with my shoulder in agony. It's still not right but I can at least sleep on that side again now.

CountingMareep · 05/07/2023 22:59

Rolypolyfishheads · 05/07/2023 22:45

When I used to work in a bookies I was taking all of the papers out of the display cases. I was doing it really fast like in a whipping them out kind of a way. I did it with one of them and it whipped across my eyeball giving it a paper cut!! Still makes me feel sick thinking about it 🤢

Urgh (shudder) - corneal injuries like that aren’t necessarily trivial. The worst ones can potentially wreck your eyesight and lead to needing a corneal transplant due to the scarring. Which is why it’s a really good idea to wear some kind of eye protection when putting up shelves or sawing timber.

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General health
Theunamedcat · 05/07/2023 23:05

Today I walked up the stairs saw something I should nudge out the way with my foot and I kicked the wall....just why? It's the same foot that's JUST recovered from me stepping on "something" and bruising it in the middle

longtompot · 05/07/2023 23:17

Leaving my bedroom yesterday my head thought we were going to the bathroom but my body thought we were going downstairs so I kicked the door jam very hard with my toes. There was a bit of a crack, but nothing appears broken, but it did hurt. I only have a tiny red mark on the side of my middle toe to show for all the noise and pain.

StillMedusa · 05/07/2023 23:27

Put my coffee cup in the dishwasher... and put my back out. Total spasm, couldn't straighten up.. had to crawl to my phone to ring the GP and spent 3 days zoned out on diazapam! Felt incredibly stupid having to ring work!

Lay in bed with no clothes on, with my laptop on my chest... snapped the lid shut..and caught my nipple. That HURT!

SmoothSeasDoNotMakeGoodSailors · 05/07/2023 23:36

Took the lid off the blender while blitzing soup before unscrewing it from the base. Then while unscrewing it from the base I accidentally knocked the "on" switch and ended up with scalding hot soup everywhere. Including all over my t-shirt, which had little holes in it so soup also ended up in my bra. I still have a red mark on my boobs.

BlackeyedSusan · 05/07/2023 23:39

Nickknackpattywhack · 05/07/2023 21:46

I opened the bedroom door onto my foot (which had no slippers on it) and ripped my little toe-nail off.
That was 3 weeks ago and I still can't get some shoes on, it's so sore.

Ouch.

I did similar with a baby gate on the bedroom door. Worse was out at the supermarket and an enormous guardsman out collecting for poppy day stepped back and stood on it.

Cocorico22 · 05/07/2023 23:44

Broke my little toe chasing toddler around in circles at a soft play... I managed to kick a vertical pole on I guess the only part not covered in soft stuff. Bloody hurt and toe went nice and purple for weeks!!

Redandyellowelephant · 05/07/2023 23:49

My 5 hear old dared me to go on his scooter and go fast and jump off and for some unknown stupid reason i did. I felt so hard in my arse I felt my brain shake. I bruised my bum badly and scraped the skin off my hand and arm. I think the worse part was is I'm not even 30 and I genuinely winded myself and couldn't get back up for a good 5 minutes 😂

blackheartsgirl · 05/07/2023 23:55

I went to stroke the dog through the gap in our bannisters, totally misjudged it and smacked my knuckles on the boards. I heard a crack and now I can’t move my last two fingers properly of make a tight fist. This was two weeks ago 😭

QueueEtwo · 05/07/2023 23:59

PollyCreo · 05/07/2023 20:45

My worst injuries are cat or gym-related. Broken rib after tripping over a cat and landing face down on a metal table - the pain was so bad I thought I'd punctured a lung.

Horrendous ripping pain in my foot in the middle of a Zumba class - turned out to be plantar fascitis and I couldn't do cardio for six months. Wouldn't mind but I only did fucking Zumba as a one off to support my friend who was teaching it 😭😂

I trapped my cats tail in the toilet seat, a split second, cat screamed & bit my shin! Whole incident a split second, I've had a skin graft but still been left with a large hole in the front of my shin! It's horrific,:

spiderlight · 06/07/2023 00:02

I once fell up some stairs while carrying an open box of pins, dropped all the pins down the stairs and then slid back down through them.

Today I stabbed the bottom of my nose hard with my thumbnail while trying to brush my hair out of my eyes. Bloody hell, that hurt.

garlictwist · 06/07/2023 01:03

I am literally awake now because I leaned down to pull the duvet higher and managed to pull a muscle in my foot. It really hurts!

Tulipvase · 06/07/2023 06:52

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 05/07/2023 22:24

@Tulipvase they've diagnosed it as IT Band Tendonitis, also called Illiotibal Band syndrome. The tight band of tendon running along the side of the thigh and attaching/interacting with quads and hamstring gets stiff and tight and swollen so rubs against knee joint. I have stretches and a really uncomfortable exercise where I have to balance on a foam roller on my side with feet suspended in the air and roll back and forth so it pushes into the muscle (fat, unfit and lacking in an balance or gracefulness so that goes well) that I have to do twice a day, then once a week the physio digs her knuckles in and breaks up the stiffness and then twists my leg and hips into inhuman positions while telling me 'this will hurt later'. I think she enjoys it, she's a very petite and deceptively sweet looking person, with a mean streak!

Thank you. I’ll look that up.

I think all physios have a bit of a mean steak! Hope the exercises help you in the end.

Crikeyisthatthetime · 06/07/2023 09:11

Still don't know how I did it, but I was getting a bamboo cane out of the shed and managed to twang it against my shin and I've still got a big bruise a week later. Reminds me of the welts the bad lads used to have when they'd been caned across their hands at school. Those were the days.

Mygrandadwasmywingman · 06/07/2023 12:05

I have daft accidents on a daily basis

It's got to the point,that when my darling mil phones every Saturday,the first thing she asks is 'has grandad had any accidents this week?'
The answer is always 'yes'

We went to Hever Castle once and I managed to trip head first into the maze-wasnt walking or even moving-i just fell

I once tripped over the front doormat-broke two toes
A year to the day later,I tripped over the same mat and broke the same toes
That was fun trying to explain to a&e-the first accident was around 11:00am and the second just after 11:30am

I fell over a wet floor sign at work-the same sign I'd placed there 3 seconds earlier

I tripped over a toddler yesterday-he was fine-my hip not so much

At the tower of London-in the bit where the crown jewels are kept,there is a low iron fence-i was walking and talking at the same time and not looking where I was going
Fell over it and a lovely beefeater helped me up-my dp and mil where too busy laughing at me (thank you Billy beefeater)

As a kid,I was once asleep in my bed
Woke up to a massive gash to my eyebrow and a lot of dried blood
I must had whacked it on my bedside table-this was the late 80's so my mother just ran a cloth over it to mop up the worse of it and sent me to school
I'd been up an hour before she even noticed

A few months ago,I pulled a nerve in my back-it was that bad I was off work with it
We went for a walk to try to help and I tripped on a pothole,landed on my knee and bashed my head
Off work a further 2 weeks

Sat on my finger and broke it

Fell down the stairs at work (normally fall up them) and ended up with concussion

I'm just a walking accident-I'm that bad,my boss asked if 'everything's OK at home?'
He thought I was being beaten up-he now knows I'm just an idiot

HeadacheEarthquake · 06/07/2023 12:07

Not lately but a few years ago I gave myself a massive bruise on my forehead by opening my fridge very vigorously and smashing myself in the face with the door...

Blueberry40 · 06/07/2023 12:12

Torn my calf muscle in a spinning class- now banned from doing exercise for a minimum of 2 weeks so it can heal. Have been told I have to rest it as much as possible otherwise it could become a permanent injury. Feeling utterly miserable at not being able to do things and very sorry for myself! Need to give my head a wobble 😄

trinitybleu · 06/07/2023 12:15

Tore my miniscus putting socks on... Confused

Tracker1234 · 06/07/2023 12:17

Some of these are very funny - sorry but they are! Am I going to be chucked off this thread??

Last week I pulled out the vacum cleaner hose to put an attachment on, took it out far too quickly and gave myself a nice black eye. It honestly looks like someone has hit me....

And it was a Dyson.....

Ozziekat19 · 06/07/2023 12:19

Had a completely freak electric shock when turning on a light switch and touching a radiator. Threw me across the room and blew power to my whole road (18 houses). Had an emergency paramedic, ambulance, 2 fire engines and the electricity board block the road. House got condemned due to faulty wiring. I was ok, minor burn to my hand, had to have a ring cut off and extra heart beats for a few weeks but all good. Was told I was very lucky to be alive. House had to be rewired and new fuse box installed. Was really cross as missed the strictly come dancing final!!

Beamur · 06/07/2023 12:19

I've really hurt my middle finger opening a parcel. I was pulling at a stuck down bit and it suddenly gave way and I hit the top of my finger on the table. It's not broken but it's ouchy.

RiseYpres · 06/07/2023 12:21

Put the tip of the blade from an oyster shucker through the webbing part of my palm.

Lots of blood. Not painful at the time, but I can;t open my palm properly anymore so clearly did some nerve damage.

NeverThatSerious · 06/07/2023 12:22

I ran into a bale spike 🙃 can’t believe I did it, I looked right at it, thought ‘ooh better not catch myself on that!’ then immediately caught myself on it! It went deep enough that you could see… layers 🤢
Ps a bale spike is literally as it sounds, a long metal spike upon which bales (and I!) are impaled to be moved by a tractor