Two things people routinely get slightly wrong on Mumsnet that set your teeth on edge and which you would ban....

[CurlewKate]

Mine are "nickname" when you mean "shortening" and "double-barrelled" when you mean "hyphenated"

People who start threads criticising the spelling and grammar of other posters.

People requesting or giving advise.

S&B threads where the OP is looking for help to find a dress/top/whatever (but the dress threads are usually the worst). While it may not be relevant to me, I still like to look at the suggestions. The OP states clearly that she is size 18 and definitely needs to wear a bra. Lots of 'this one's nice' or 'how about this one?' replies, and when I look so many of the dresses linked are either not available in the OP's size or are out of stock completely, or are backless/off the shoulder so no good with a bra.

I get far more riled than I should.

I find these difficult and have to stop and think hard before typing them. God knows why. Apologies if I've got it wrong and driven you up the wall!

@Gymnopedie

Or when they give a budget and posters suggest a dress that's 2.5x more expensive.

Those posts often start with the word "so". When I see that, no paragraph breaks and missing or incorrect punctuation I don't read it as the post is too much work. And it's always someone complaining about something / someone so not worth the trouble.

Probably because we use chose and choose more often, but it's choose and lose that rhyme rather than chose and lose.

I don't know if this is still the case but at one time 'I didn't want to read and run' meant 'I can't help with your problem but I'm interacting with your post to bump it up the board and get it to appear in Active so that someone who can help will see it', which I have always thought of as pretty supportive.

Or hideous frumpy 50s style dresses, as if we should look like we are in fancy dress because we are overweight.

Thanks @TheMoth I haven't really noticed that pronunciation but it makes sense now.

This one, everytime

I've seen that one on a gravestone.

😲😮😲

It was the case in Wales.

"'Ee tooke me buffit and ah wor fair capped, the claht-'eead!' is dialect.
'I'm stood here' isn't."

Yes, it is. Certain grammatical structures can be part of dialect.

People being snooty about others grammatical errors outside of pedants’ corner.

Prince William is the future King of England. No he’s not.

Agreed. There is no such title as King of England. The last King/Queen of England was Queen Anne.

This with bells on.

And anything else that confuses England with the rUK.

The trouble is one persons frumpy is another persons fashionable. Having removed 70s wallpaper from our house I could not understand when those same prints became fashionable on clothes.

😂😂😂😂

Really? I didn't think anywhere actually said it had to be an hour. I know in Scotland it wasn't.

People who itch an itch.

No , you scratch an itch.

When people respond to posts on here with....

Howling.
This with knobs / nobs on.
Exactly this.
Get your ducks in a row.

I used to do that. For some reason it looks right.