Two things people routinely get slightly wrong on Mumsnet that set your teeth on edge and which you would ban....

[CurlewKate]

Mine are "nickname" when you mean "shortening" and "double-barrelled" when you mean "hyphenated"

@ForTheSnarkWasABoojumYouSee

Not a huge fan of hubster

What if your hubster is a chubster? (Mine isn't).

+1

'Shortening' is the fat that Americans use to make pastry. There are a few posters on Baby Names who are trying very hard to make 'shortening' happen but it's unhelpful IMO. Not all diminutives are shortenings of the full name!

If you want a catch-all term for nicknames and diminutives then I suppose we could start a campaign to make 'hypocorism' catch on...

Well they’re the minority so

One of the only. No. "Only", in this context, means "one".

@ownworstnme I often saw ‘rest bite’ on another forum, and there it did make sense. It was a forum for carers of people with dementia, and the poor posters were desperate for a ‘bite’ of ‘rest’. 🙁

Phase instead of faze. That seriously has me grinding my teeth, what I have left of them.

I hate this one too and it is absolutely endemic.

I have a slightly different issue with nicknames on MN.

I cannot abide the posters who want to chose a nickname, nicknames are meant to be organic.

I also cannot abide those who post in baby names along the lines of "what do you think of Guinevere nn Posie" - urm these names have absolutely no link or correlation and it is just greedy to give you kids two names. Pick one name!!!!

(totally different if Guinevere grows up to end up being called Posie because she used to bring her mum a small bunches of flowers)

Not sure if it has been said but when a poster starts a thread asking for 'advise' ITS BLOODY ADVICE!

All the missing ds or eds in

Pack lunch
Mince beef
Mash potato

Not to mention party’s, baby’s, etc. when they just mean the plural - parties, babies.
I do sometimes despair at the state of English teaching in our schools - or in some of them.

I hate it when mumsnetters say "he's self employed so doesn't have to pay child support" - em,yeah, they still have to pay it, self employed or employed.

and

"I can't get a mortgage because im self employed" - em, yeah, you can. Self employed people can get mortgages.

You're absolutely right, @ForTheSnarkWasABoojumYouSee. Although until you wrote that, I hadn't thought "hubster" was a proper word at all, let alone one being misused.

I accept that people are educated at different levels so am not too bothered about poor spelling but if I read a post that is 10 lines, without 1 full stop ,capital letter etc I just scroll on .
Surely basic punctuation is taught in every school.

Conversely, talking about my babies sleep, pram, bath etc. It's baby's if you just have one!
Also people on The Archers forum talking about the Grundies. Their surname is Grundy!!

I share your despair!

Just because you personally don't like a word doesn't make it wrong. Not a huge fan of hubster myself, but it's not an an incorrect use of the word. Ditto mama, spidery senses, itching teeth, holibobs, boobs.

But hubster isn't a word.

Spidery-senses should be spider sense or (my preferred) spidey-sense.

Itching teeth should clearly be itchy teeth

@wutheringkites

But hubster isn't a word.

But you just typed it! How can it, therefore, not be a 'word'?

a single unit of language that has meaning and can be spoken or written
Cambridge Dictionary

@LaBefana Fair point.

😂😂
Ohhh you've cheered me right up this morning

"Is there anything I can do for yourself?" 🤣🤣

That's top draw

Posters who write "here here!" instead of "hear hear!"

Posters who use the cringeworthy neologism "shero" when the word "heroine" exists.

This and when someone say they don't want to read and run.

Bad spelling and for the love of all the gods - USE PARAGRAPHS!! If I click on a thread and it's long and the poster hasn't inserted paragraphs I come out immediately.

He's instead of his.

And yes, when the first person to respond to a thread quotes the OP. So you read the OP, then immediately have to read it again (or scroll past) to read the first response.

Que or cue instead of queue 😉