DS doesn't want me to say our 'good night' things anymore

[Toffeesgirl]

I've said a special way of saying goodnight to him since, well forever, and now he's 15 and very nicely said he doesn't want me to say it anymore as he's not a child!!

I, obviously, didn't let him know I was heartbroken (lighthearted) and said Ok but omg, he's growing up and I'm not ready.

I know it's perfectly healthy and he is growing up and blah, blah, blah but he's my baby boy.

Please tell me I'm not the only one

Same! Put him to bed last night and he said
Really mum you don't need to tuck me in anymore I'm not 5

😓😓

Although eldest came home heartbroken and needed a chat so all good . Obviously I'm not happy he was heartbroken but you know he needed me to talk to 😬

Aww. My 11 year old has a series of goodnight kisses we have to do that we’ve done for years. I know he’s going to stop asking soon (I never prompt it anymore) and I think I’ll be heartbroken!

No, because you're implying it's creepy and ruining a perfectly nice thread

This place is like a parallel universe sometimes.

Or ... other people have different views to you?

I think it's nasty to make fun of a private family habit in front of a teen's friends & to exaggerate it for effect.

If you & your DD enjoy this, crack on.

That sounds even more depressing than not doing it at all

So when she started calling her by her first name it was a mark of respect for the woman she is, that she wasn’t just a mum, that she was (name).

That's really lovely! (I might choose to see it that way myself).

Hang on to this thought - it's beautiful because it's so very likely to be true

And even if you can't say it routinely now it might, like the Room of Requirements, still pop up from time to time with him when there's need

My dad had a special way of saying good night to me and my sister (he'd bang on the wall on the way down the stairs and we'd shout 'night, night, night' in time with the bangs.
I think it only stopped when we started to go to bed later than he did.
It's hard when you realise they're growing up op.

He'll say it to his kids!

The nitpickers are out in force on this thread..

OP you've done amazingly to get to 15! My 12 yo has taken to fading from the room muttering 'going to bed now' or kissing me on the forehead to establish that I'm no longer coming up, tucking him in and going through the bedtime rituals. I completely get what a loss it feels like, even while being proud and delighted by the young person he's becoming.

The good thing is that in times of need he lies on me and reconnects by telling me all about his FIFA team or favourite YouTube video (he towers over me so can't sit on my lap or be easily cuddled anymore, before the nitpickers start, but he does a full sprawl cuddle equivalent) and says 'Love you' several times a day, so I know it's not a loss, but a change.

And I love the PPs about picking the rituals up again with grandchildren!

That made me laugh a LOT!

I still say “night night sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bight. Love you” every night to my 13.5 y/o. It’s what my mum and dad always said to me. I don’t do it if she has a friend sleeping over though.

And I only say it through a cracked open door as I am in my way to bed….

Keep it tucked away for special moments. My DS always insisted on a particular goodbye when I dropped him at nursery. He was far too grown up for it at Big School, but I remembered it a few weeks ago and whispered it to a terrified 6ft teenager setting off for his first GCSE exam, and every exam thereafter. It's hard when these things change but how lovely that he's felt able to talk to you about it.

Without fail I say "Goodnight darling, love you lots, sleep well, see you in the morning" to any off the offspring (4 of them ranging from 19 to 25) that happen to be home, often through a closed bedroom door.

Two will reply back with a similar response, the other two sometimes just say "Night Sib" but they didn't grow up living with me, and their Mum was a cold fish who wasn't big on affection so they only ever tell me they love me when they're pissed or by message. Sometimes they come out to give me a hug and a kiss.

Those who aren't home get a text saying it. I guess I've done well to get to this age and not been told to stop.

If it's any consolation, @Toffeesgirl, my PFB had a phase from about 13 of telling me not to say the special goodnight words. I am now allowed to say the words again (though we laugh about it). He's a 20something year old postgrad student.

Ds used to mock me for my sayings when he was about 15. He is now 23 and says them all.

We say
"Sweet dreams custard creams jelly beans spinach greens" followed by "love you see you in the morning".

My son is just finishing Y6.

Although he has just told me he does not really need his nightlight anymore so I think the days are numbered for our special words

Ah.
When we were kids it was always
"Night night, sleep tight don't let the bedbugs bite, I like you and I love youu" That me my brother and sister used to chorus down the stairs after our parents.
I completely forgot about it until I had my first child, and there it was.....just came straight out of my mouth.
Said it to the toddler grandchild too!

I'm in my 50's and can still remember the look on my fathers face when I stopped our goodnight routine, I was a real Daddy's girl so it hurt him and I noticed despite him trying to hide it. Now he's almost 80 and we text each other to say goodnight, love you every single night and it means the world to me.

Oh no. I'd be very sad. My DS is 11 months old. Glad to see all these other mums have found other special ways to do things/ they come back.

I'm sure he still loves and needs his mummy very much.

And here’s me saying “close your eyes & go to sleep” while saying in my head ‘ffs, it’s so late!

Tomorrow I will be more lovely!

Don't worry - the teen years can be a bit brutal, as they do need to break off from parents. It's healthy that they do so.

But, chances are, they'll come back with greater understanding. Not just metaphorically, but literally too - lots of young adults live at home for a spell, and once through the teen turbulence a new understanding can be reached

As others have said, normal at 15. My 2 older ones (uni age now) delight in their childhood bedtime words when home. If I'm still awake when they go to bed, which is rarely!

Teenage years are tough but they come back to you in their different ways.

I remember when I said to my son once "where has my little boy gone?" and he said "he's inside the big boy" . I still cry with that now and he's in his 30s.