DS doesn't want me to say our 'good night' things anymore

[Toffeesgirl]

I've said a special way of saying goodnight to him since, well forever, and now he's 15 and very nicely said he doesn't want me to say it anymore as he's not a child!!

I, obviously, didn't let him know I was heartbroken (lighthearted) and said Ok but omg, he's growing up and I'm not ready.

I know it's perfectly healthy and he is growing up and blah, blah, blah but he's my baby boy.

Please tell me I'm not the only one

Think of it this way instead: he's moving into a different phase of life, so you'll probably develop new bonding things together :)

That's a nice way to look at it.

My two DSs have started calling me by my first name, at least in public (we're in Ireland & they couldn't take calling me 'Mammy' anymore but we didn't seem able to make the transition to 'Mum' (which felt really artificial) or 'Mam' (which I hate!))

I actually really like it now.

If it makes you feel better my son said similar at 14 when he came back from uni he resurrected it saying it to me and now says it to his own dc every night.

Missed out a full stop there he didn't come home from uni at 14!

My DS is 25 now and will occasionally refer back to little phrases/ family jokes so I know, despite being 6ft 5", a graduate and with a senior role at work, that the loving little boy remains somewhere within him.
I'm really aware of not excluding his wonderful girlfriend so I make light of it, but I'm not going to deny on here, it makes the cockles of my heart warm.

I thought you were going to say he was 6 or 7… respect his wishes and try to detach a bit more, he’s nearly an adult.

Mine's also 15 and we still say the same goodbye thing that we've said since he could talk in sentences!

Imagine his name is Fred.

Me: See you later Freddiegator
Him: In a while Mummydile

Never in front of friends though

Goodnights are, "Love you lots, Jelly Tots" to my 15 and 18 year old!

My eldest said recently that he likes that I still say it all these years later! But if either give a hint of not liking it anymore I’ll stop. I do find it cute to say it to two strapping, deep voiced lads. 😆

That’s very sad, OP. He must be a lovely, caring boy for you to have got to 15 before he’s decided he’s too old for it. My DD15 and I always say and text ‘love you’ but DS18 doesn’t and hasn’t for a few years. We have a special emoji I can use, not too often, in texts. 🐠

Say it to him in the morning then. Backwards.

We have a special emoji I can use, not too often, in texts. 🐠

aww that’s really sweet 🥰

This place is like a parallel universe sometimes.
Firstly, I suspect this was supposed to be a bit of a joke.
Secondly, this is exactly what I’d do to my DD. Our relationship is such that she would roll her eyes at me, whine ‘muuuum!’ Give me a kiss goodnight and go to bed! No long lasting trauma or broken relationships. She knows I’m teasing.

I use this one too 😂

It means squishy in our house 🐠

He will remember it and one day he will say it to his own kids. I guarantee it.

I still say goodnight to my 3 in my head every night as i lie down, they are in their 30s so obviously i am saying it in my head 😀

I am LOLing at this! @AwfulTed

Last night my DS asked me to read to him because I hadn't done it for a while. He's nearly 14 and it was absolutely lovely.

Aww it’s the end of an era, lovely new things will come along and well done on getting so far. My 18 told me to stop doing our goodbye thing when he gets out of the car… he ought to learn to drive then it wouldn’t crop up 🤔

Oh mine was like this and I just ignored him and carried on

I told my mum to stop our routine at about 14, we still say it now if we're around each other at bedtime/on the phone. It's not gone forever!

I guess by special it's something like my mum would always say to me which was
Good night, sleep well, I love you. But in German (we aren't german...)

I agree with this. I remember the day I told my mum I didn’t want to do ‘ten little fingers, ten little toes’ any more. Now I do it with my DD and if my mum’s there we do it together. It’ll come back, I promise x

My friend said something so interesting to me the other day on this. It was that she realised her mum wasn’t just a mum she was a whole person who’d given up a lot of herself for them. So when she started calling her by her first name it was a mark of respect for the woman she is, that she wasn’t just a mum, that she was (name).

Ah god that's so lovely 😍

Wee boy 7

We were going out and was going to help with shoes, he turned round as said "no mummum don't need your help am a big boy can do it myself"

That got me, he still loves the bedtime routine of what we say. And he doesn't care who's listening. It is the only time he will say I love you.

Me and mum used to say to eachother 'dont run too far' every single time when saying goodnight. Although she died nearly 10 years ago I now do it with my little one. It never goes away op, just changes :) try not to be too sad.

Awww 15 is good going. DS2 age 6 recently asked me to stop my little nickname for him which is adding ‘bear’ to the end of his name (first name rhymes with bear). I’m allowed to say it at home, apparently, but only when he tells me I can, and definitely not near the school gate 😅. Fortunately DS1 still lets me indulge with alllll the silly names I have for him.