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Original poster

It’s an A&E one…

297 replies

LawyeredUp · 29/06/2023 23:10

I genuinely never thought I’d start one of these threads, but here I am!

I don’t think it needs a trip to A&E, but could do with the reassurance.

DS is 2 (27 months). He was picked up from nursery by his nanny and got the bus home. Unfortunately the bus was packed so when getting off, she went forwards with the pushchair rather than backwards. And the pushchair fell off the bus with DS in it.

He cried for a couple of hours and couldn’t put any weight on his legs. Once I got home, he calmed down with me after around half an hour, but was still upset at times. He started to cheer up a bit, and I gave him some calpol, after which he was back to himself.

Except he can’t put weight on his legs. He can move them and as we were playing whilst he was lying down, he was happily and easily kicking them around (calpol would have kicked in). I’ve bent them both in different angles and there’s no issue, but he’s not standing. I think his legs are simply sore, as surely it would be obvious if it was a break right?

No obvious head injury (told there were no marks on him right after) and once he calmed down and the calpol kicked in, he had food. He’s still up now (I’ve wanted to keep an eye on him) and for all intents and purposes, he’s himself, apart from not being able to stand properly. It’s a big pushchair and he was buckled in, but I think the shock together with hurting his legs was hugely distressing for him and also he needed his mum, hence why he was upset for so long.

I don’t think it needs A&E, as I’m not too worried about his legs. Maybe see how he is in the morning?

OP posts:
katepilar · 01/07/2023 22:59

LawyeredUp · 30/06/2023 23:50

Please re read my posts. I made it clear I don’t blame her for the accident and also made it clear that I’m judging her on not calling me right away.

Show quote history

Does the nanny have clear instructions what to do in case there is an accident? Does she know you want her to call you straight away?

bloodyfootprint · 01/07/2023 23:11

If all three of you have had problems with the pushchair tilting forwards when you're trying to manoeuvre it, perhaps you should replace the pushchair.

2bazookas · 01/07/2023 23:17

He could have a spinal injury.

I'm amazed you haven't taken him for medical check up.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
FlipFlop1987 · 01/07/2023 23:19

I think when it comes to toddlers and accidents, most parents have had a scare and a rabbit it headlights moment when you can’t think rationally.
My DD had just 12 months, sat in her highchair, one of the traditional style wooden ones with no straps. She wasn’t yet standing and I was sat opposite her singing songs, out of nowhere she put both hands down on the tray and pushed herself up to standing. She stood perfectly fine, I stayed calm and told her not to move, which she didn’t. As I stepped towards her though, she did a tiny lean back and went back over the highchair. Obviously she cried, I rang 111 immediately, before the call could even connect (a minute at most) she’d stopped crying and wanted to crawl off to play.

Due to possible head injury I was sent to A&E, I was there 4 hours but all they did was send nurse after doctor after nurse in to look in her eyes and feel her spine then asked me to recount what happened. I must have told 4/5 different people. I honestly felt like a criminal (I work for the police myself). Eventually they released us. 8am the next morning social services called. They were very pleasant, didn’t accuse me of anything, just asked yet again to explain what happened, asked how I was and understood how frightening it can be as a FTM and first trip to A&E. That was the end of the matter.

As I say, working for the police I actually found the immediate referral reassuring, the hospital were on the ball. My sister also got questioned quite strongly when my niece was learning to walk and flipped her walker over which bashed her in the mouth. She’s a social worker in children’s services, one doctor genuinely didn’t believe her story, it wasn’t until a consultant reviewed the situation he happened to ask the brand of walker as his child had the exact same injury from the same walker a week previous! I know it might sound OTT people mentioning social services but there have been some horrific cases in recent times and it’s always better they are overly cautious. If they do ring, just stay calm, it’s a general follow up, not to try and accuse you of being a bad parent.

On a side note, the bus driver should have levelled the bus to the kerb, they would then see the size of the gap. If it was full they couldn’t see for people, that’s a safety concern. I’d be asking to see their accident report form and seeing what they are doing to investigate. It may be the driver hasn’t declared it if he/she was at fault.

swimminginthesun · 01/07/2023 23:39

@2bazookas Try reading the updates. Child has been seen in A&E.

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 01/07/2023 23:40

I have the utmost sympathy for you OP but really would query the training of a nanny that allowed this to happen. Yes there are accidents but this seems a really bad incident that training would have stopped from happening.

user6482957 · 01/07/2023 23:59

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 01/07/2023 23:40

I have the utmost sympathy for you OP but really would query the training of a nanny that allowed this to happen. Yes there are accidents but this seems a really bad incident that training would have stopped from happening.

Same! I'm surprised not more people commenting on the nanny here.

She went forward with the pram off the bus?? FFS!

Yeahyeahno · 02/07/2023 00:25

to the Pp who criticised me for singing wheels on the bus, he was singing wheels on the bus and doing all the movements - I guess I should have just ignored him as that’s what a good mother is supposed to

@LawyeredUp pretty sure that was a joke because your child fell off a bus…..

I think you may need to take a step back here as you’re taking everything too personally and not getting it. Focus on sorting out your nanny perhaps

AlfietheSchnauzer · 02/07/2023 00:41

@LawyeredUp Sounds like your Pram/pushchair isn't great from all the examples of it tipping forward. Perhaps time for an upgrade?? It also may make your Nanny feel better about taking him out again

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 02/07/2023 01:24

She didn't call you as she didn't think it warranted it, you didn't take him to A&E for the same reason, yet she's somehow more wrong?
You've learnt from your mistake of not taking him in and she'd have learnt hers too.
Love on and don't try to shift blame to make yourself feel better.

CelestiaNoctis · 02/07/2023 02:05

Yes I would take him. I understand your logic and you've checked him over but it's better to be safe and have the professional give him a once over, especially as he's so young.

itstrue · 02/07/2023 02:17

Hey I just wanted to comment that you sound like a great sensible mum

WotsitsMadeIn1927 · 02/07/2023 05:12

I’m glad he was ok.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Just wanted to say welcome to the worries of being a boy mum 💙

Lozois99 · 02/07/2023 06:20

OP. Youve sorted this situation. Time to step
away from the binfire that is a MN thread. Stop explaining yourself. Youve done fine. You owe none of us an explanation and its no longer any of our business.

ChrisPPancake · 02/07/2023 08:57

2bazookas · 01/07/2023 23:17

He could have a spinal injury.

I'm amazed you haven't taken him for medical check up.

I'm amazed you couldn't take 2 minutes out of your day to read op's updates Hmm

Catsanfan · 02/07/2023 09:15

Not sure what being a boy mum has to do with it? Can't nannies have bus related buggy accidents with girls?

blahblahblah1654 · 02/07/2023 14:04

Glad you got him checked op. Don't feel bad, the delay wouldn't have made a difference and you went in the end anyway. At least he doesn't seem in any pain. Hope he's on the mend soon!

Rorymyers · 02/07/2023 14:17

Caramellois · 30/06/2023 07:33

Your child has had an accident and can't walk or weight bear but you don't think this is something requiring urgent medical attention? Without any medical training, you've been moving their legs about in some kind of primitive "broken bone tests". Does something strike you as very odd about this approach. If it doesn't, you must have a very low IQ, lawyer or not.

This is unnecessarily harsh.

Rorymyers · 02/07/2023 14:36

LawyeredUp · 30/06/2023 21:57

I was in two minds about updating. It’s not the update many of you were hoping for as I haven’t been reported to social services on account of being a neglectful mother and had DS taken away from me. Sorry to disappoint so many of you.

Took DS early this morning and we were there all day because it took ages to get a scan done. They wouldn’t let me be in the room during the X-ray, but also said they can’t provide someone to hold him (which is absurd as how can they not provide support for a small child during an X-ray). As there was no way he would lie still on a narrow bed on his own, it took a while for someone to join me, and even then he was terrified and wouldn’t lie still. Took several hours and attempts but we got there in the end.

He has a hairline fracture in his leg. A toddler fracture to be exact. It doesn’t need any specialist treatment fortunately apart from a splint and he doesn’t seem to be in any pain, to the point when at the hospital, they even questioned if he does actually need calpol. So he’s doing ok. He’s been happy and content all day, apart from when we tried to do the X-ray, so he’s ok. I’m not sure how long the splint needs to stay on for - I should find out when I get a call from the fracture clinic.

Yes, I misjudged his inability to stand up and assumed it was just soft tissue damage but I still don’t think my misjudgment made me this terrible and neglectful mother so many of you have accused me of. He calmed down within about half an hour of me getting home, and was happy and playing and giggling all night. Apart from being unable to stand, he was not unhappy or distressed and didn’t seem to be suffering in any way so I thought it was just badly bruised. This thread showed me fractures in toddlers can present differently - thank you so much for those who helped without judging.

I know I’m not a lazy and neglectful mother. I stayed awake most of last night to keep an eye on him (set my alarm for every half hour in case I fell asleep, and it’s what I also do when he has a viral wheeze), so it wasn’t a case of me being too lazy for a late night visit. We’ve also had plenty of late night visits when needed. He also has never slept through so it’s not like I get a good nights sleep anyway. I misjudged the situation and this parenting forum guided me in the right direction - it’s just a shame many of you saw that as an opportunity to attack a mother who made a mistake.

As Pp pointed out, my experience with managing his viral wheeze probably paid a huge part. I know the NHS website says to go to A&E if he can’t hold his weight, but it also tells us to go to A&E when he has signs of his viral wheeze, which isn’t actually necessary. I also don’t find 111 reliable. Whenever I’ve used them, they’ve either blue lighted an ambulance to me when it isn’t needed, or called me back 6 hours or so later. So I listened to my instincts and judged the situation on how he was after I got home, but this time I got it wrong.

“I was in two minds about updating. It’s not the update many of you were hoping for as I haven’t been reported to social services on account of being a neglectful mother and had DS taken away from me. Sorry to disappoint so many of you”

haha yea reading this thread left me gobsmacked at how judgemental people are. They left the issue at hand and started to call you names and question your parenting to the point they said you should be reported for safeguarding.

if you were a bad parent would you have had concerns to the point where you’d post it on here?

i’m a parent to a young child as well and yes you are absolutely right about knowing your child best and staying awake to monitor him.

Tooooo many people are keyboard happy to judge others these days and even though I echoed the a/e sentiment I didn’t judge you for wanting to monitor either. I didn’t think you made a bad decision and neither did I think you were neglectful.

maybe next time be an avid commenter on MN and not an OP. Hugs

blor · 03/07/2023 10:55

I work in A&E. I wouldn't refer this to social services but don't be concerned if you get a call. We see a lot of toddlers fractures presenting the next day with a normal looking leg. I understand why a parent would give some painkillers and see how the child is in the morning unless there was an obvious deformity or swelling. The OP did nothing wrong.

Ohhmydays · 03/07/2023 13:03

FlipFlop1987 · 01/07/2023 23:19

I think when it comes to toddlers and accidents, most parents have had a scare and a rabbit it headlights moment when you can’t think rationally.
My DD had just 12 months, sat in her highchair, one of the traditional style wooden ones with no straps. She wasn’t yet standing and I was sat opposite her singing songs, out of nowhere she put both hands down on the tray and pushed herself up to standing. She stood perfectly fine, I stayed calm and told her not to move, which she didn’t. As I stepped towards her though, she did a tiny lean back and went back over the highchair. Obviously she cried, I rang 111 immediately, before the call could even connect (a minute at most) she’d stopped crying and wanted to crawl off to play.

Due to possible head injury I was sent to A&E, I was there 4 hours but all they did was send nurse after doctor after nurse in to look in her eyes and feel her spine then asked me to recount what happened. I must have told 4/5 different people. I honestly felt like a criminal (I work for the police myself). Eventually they released us. 8am the next morning social services called. They were very pleasant, didn’t accuse me of anything, just asked yet again to explain what happened, asked how I was and understood how frightening it can be as a FTM and first trip to A&E. That was the end of the matter.

As I say, working for the police I actually found the immediate referral reassuring, the hospital were on the ball. My sister also got questioned quite strongly when my niece was learning to walk and flipped her walker over which bashed her in the mouth. She’s a social worker in children’s services, one doctor genuinely didn’t believe her story, it wasn’t until a consultant reviewed the situation he happened to ask the brand of walker as his child had the exact same injury from the same walker a week previous! I know it might sound OTT people mentioning social services but there have been some horrific cases in recent times and it’s always better they are overly cautious. If they do ring, just stay calm, it’s a general follow up, not to try and accuse you of being a bad parent.

On a side note, the bus driver should have levelled the bus to the kerb, they would then see the size of the gap. If it was full they couldn’t see for people, that’s a safety concern. I’d be asking to see their accident report form and seeing what they are doing to investigate. It may be the driver hasn’t declared it if he/she was at fault.

This happened to my youngest ds, what you dd done. a few months ago so would have been around 9month but he has straps on his highchair. I put him in, straps on. Went through to the kitchen(probably about 20steps) to get his dinner heard an almighty thud. He had got his straps off and climbed out. Living room was moved around as i was having new windows fitted and the couches were pushed together like a corner couch. Afterwards when we knew he was ok i just kept thinking he could have tried to go forwards or to the left and landed on one of the couches but no he had to climb off to the right straight on the floor lol

Caramellois · 03/07/2023 14:13

It is good news that it's comparatively minor. I was too critical in what I said. I am sorry. My small son's sprained ankle turned out to be a bone infection and I do feel guilty that I thought it was minor rather than life threatening. It has made me perhaps a bit over vigilant.

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