When did your parents become “old”?

[GormlessBeast]

What age did they change from being adults you could talk to about stuff to old people?

Where they don’t listen, don’t ask any questions just tell you a list of what they’ve done or some “facts” from the newspaper?

Mum was fairly sensible until she hit 71/72. Now at 77 she’s got an older way about her. We skim over everything and she just tells me things or wants to talk about the DGC. Is this just normal ageing? It’s pretty depressing.

85 prior to this very astute!

My mum never did, she died at 57. My dad is in his 60s and still doesn't seem old. My grandma in her late 80s does a bit though.

My parents were never the sort of people you could talk to. My mother has seemed older in her eighties. My father died at 74. Still very vital.

My dad died when he was 68 so never. My mum is now 73 and just starting, ever so slightly, to seem old. I wonder wether dad dying and 5 years by herself has exacerbated that faster than would have happened otherwise.

The COVID (with hindsight) over reaction and subsequent lockdowns aged my late 70s parents a lot. They’ve still got their marbles, but their world has got much smaller. Pre Covid they’d be flying somewhere every month, they’re now down to driving to (admittedly very nice) hotels around the UK. Hearing and mobility are also just beginning to deteriorate, and that rate of deterioration seems to be accelerating. But, we meet every month or so and can have very enjoyable lunches chatting, albeit about the same old things sometimes!

They didn’t. They died before they got there (aged 65 and 66).

My mum is 82. Still functioning on all levels.

Crikey, I'm pretty old and virtually house bound, but my daughter still talks to me about things that are bothering her. Sometimes it's a work situation, sometimes about situations she encounters in her voluntary work.

She's always discreet, takes care not to divulge confidential information, but still gets her point across.

I'd be really sad if she couldnt/didnt.

I'm interested in dAughters life outside our home, and if I can help -even if that help only extends to listening- then I count that as a reason to be around.

I think since lockdown. My mum is 86 in November. Up until 2018 she was still going out at 5am to do a cleaning job across the road at her local health centre. She then had a couple of falls and was subsequently retired on medical grounds a year later. Lockdown then came and that has really taken its toll on her. She has aged visibly, and is now definitely struggling. She's still got all her marbles, but physically she is a shadow of what she was. It's not helped by the fact that she struggles to see due to cataracts (she's waiting to have them done) and has lost confidence about going out, even to come to us. We're trying to get her sorted but it's difficult.

They didn't fortunately/unfortunately...

My parents are still the people I go to when I need a good chat or some proper advice at 76 & 79.

Mum suddenly turned into a frail little old lady at about 70 when she had a fall and dislocated her shoulder. Prior to that she'd been fit and stronger than me.

Dad became old overnight when he got a cancer diagnosis at 78.

Dad is 73 and is starting to seem older now, he doesn’t go anywhere except the supermarket, he repeats himself and gives detailed accounts of what the neighbours have been up to. Mum died at 61 so never got a chance to seem old. Like a pp I wonder if it would have been different for DF if DM was still around.

My grandma is getting there now at 80. It’s her body failing her though - hearing and sight going and it’s scaring her, which makes her self isolate and lash out a bit. If not for that she’s much the same as she ever was though her children seem more exasperated with her than me so maybe I’m seeing the best of her as the golden DGC 😇

my mum is only in her early sixties and fabulous.

My Mum died at 86 and was only really old in the last 2 years when she had nerve damage in her back so couldn't walk far and then in her last 5 months pancreatic cancer. Her mind was still sharp though right until they doped her up with morphine for pain.

My mum is only in her 50’s and is like a little old lady already. It’s really sad. Her partner is much older than her which I think has sped up the process. She’s just had all her hair cut off into a short do like my nans and gone grey and it’s just aged her so much. She still works full time but she doesn’t have any friends and just moans.

I think mum started this about late 70s but that also coincided with being reclusive once COVID hit and she still is. I think having a tiny home based world does this. Everything she says is straight from daily mail or GB News who, apparently, 'tell it like it is'. Her other repetitive hobby seems to be slagging people off for the most innocuous offences such as being fat, foreign or just living their lives.

I think lockdown really jolted mum and made her world shrink. Maybe everything was too awful to face up to so skimming over things is safer. It definitely had an unrecorded negative effect on lots of older people. It’s really very sad.

Yes same here. Lots of slagging people off - fat, foreign, boring etc - and quoting the Daily Telegraph. Suppose it makes her feel superior.

My parents had me at 44 and 46 and were always like you describe. My mum died in her 50s and my dad is nearly 80 now and much, much worse for the not listening/asking any questions.

My dad has had many physical injuries over the course of his life, but he became scared with a particularly bad one about 10 years ago, and started feeling frail and no longer the big strong man in the last couple of years, early 70s. Mind still fine. Mum thought she was old for a lot of the last 20 years, but bounced back from that idea just a couple of years ago. Become ill and frail and scared now with recent poor health. Mind still fine. Also early 70s.

Mine are in their early eighties and haven't got to that sort of "old" yet, though Mum has significant physical health problems.

My dad was only 45 when he died so no chance to get old. My mum was 72 and still very fit, well and totally with it when she suddenly died.

My nana is now 93 and apart from getting in a muddle with her energy bills and refusing online banking she is very bright and alert. We discuss everything from news to sports to life events. No cobwebs on her! Same with my 2 aunts who are in their 80s, both are mentally very alive and involved in the world.

At 75 my mum’s still sharp as a button but I’ve noticed she just seems more frail physically. It’s sad. She’s got such a incredible brain on her but she seems pre fragile. She’s as determined and stubborn as she is ver was though.

My dad died at 81, he never really got like that.
Mum has dementia and is 88, but I would say I noticed that around 76/77 but that coincided with my dads death which she very much struggled with.

When she had a mini stroke that ruined her balance and started vascular dementia in her mid 80s. She's 91 and has one minute memory now.