When did your parents become “old”?

[GormlessBeast]

What age did they change from being adults you could talk to about stuff to old people?

Where they don’t listen, don’t ask any questions just tell you a list of what they’ve done or some “facts” from the newspaper?

Mum was fairly sensible until she hit 71/72. Now at 77 she’s got an older way about her. We skim over everything and she just tells me things or wants to talk about the DGC. Is this just normal ageing? It’s pretty depressing.

I feel about 75. Just today I watched as my parents struggled to walk uo the stairs. Heartbreaking. Mentally both are fine, although I feel a bit repetitive but I think that's more to do with not doing much rather than old age (I know much younger people who also repeat the same stories!!)

Mid 60s, very recent and sudden. I think retirement as a resultof the pandemic has caused it.

Started in the mid to late 70s for my mum after a health problem. Sometimes she’s still very interested and remembers things that are going on, other days not at all and she’s just on how difficult everything is. I think it’s to do with how much pain she’s in and if she can get any sleep. Covid definitely accelerated the decline.

My Dad died at 69, sharp as a tack despite years of heavy drinking and smoking.
My Mum (divorced from Dad for many years) is suddenly seeming a bit old at 76.. she worries over everything, refuses to go anywhere more than half a day because of the cat and is a lot more critical of everything. She still has a busy life but I think is a bit bored with it. Occasionally says stuff that makes me worry she is starting to lose her marbles, but then is fine again.

My Mum is 81 and like most others have said COVID definitely resulted in a big decline in self confidence. The last year or so back problems have also made her very physically frail. My step-dad died at 68, she was 72.5 at the time, and also agree with others that living alone for the last 8.5 years likely has also aged her.

Mum at 56 when my dad died 🤦‍♀️, it really changed her 😒

mine are 75 and up and down, you can still have decent discussions with them on all sorts of stuff but with my mum it will often default to who she knows who’s died recently and doctor/hospital visits

My inlaws, probably about 15 years ago (mid 60s)
My parents, when covid hit (just 70s) Now VERY old and incapable in mid 70s
My grandma, she's not there yet, still thinks she's 22... at 96!

I was going to say the same about my Dad. At 59 he was old suddenly.

My 84 year old MIL is positively young in comparison.

My mum is 78 and is still really with it, active life, very sociable. She always heading out to this group or that group or out to lunch with friends. She's in a few WhatsApp groups so her phone is always pinging with those (they mostly send memes to each other). The only signs are that she's a bit more nervous about driving at night and avoids it if she can and she's started making noises about moving house because the (admittedly massive) garden is getting too much for her.

My dad died at 70 so never got "old" as such but his ill health in his last couple of years made him seem physically very old and took away some of his spirit and humour, but he was still as sharp as a tack and a great raconteur.

My in laws on the other hand are about a year older than my mum but act about 10 years older. They have no interest in anything other than their grandchild and their holidays and never ask DH about anything in his life (and if they did they wouldn't listen to the answer)

Oh the tables have turned with me being the adult for sure. Quite young compared to some on here... 63/64?

I'd say 82 was the age that both my parents became very self consumed, not really very interested in anyone else or what they were up to, just all about them !

I also think lockdown really contributed. Dad is 74 and up until the pandemic was travelling abroad, getting out and about and generally living his best life. Then Covid hit and really scared him. He's terrified of hospitals and so self isolated and saw hardly anyone for months on end. I didn't see him face to face for almost a year (although we talked on the phone a lot and did video calls.)

Even when lockdowns finished I've noticed the difference. His world has become so much smaller. He stays at home other than to pop to the local supermarket. He's still as sharp mentally as he ever was but suddenly seems a lot older.

Mine are 72 and 75. They still travel abroad and get out and about, albeit with a lot of complaining and moaning from DM and a lot of huffing and puffing from DF. They are slowing down, although DM has been desperate to be old for about 15 years. DF is more laid back and just gets on with things mostly, he's had radiotherapy for cancer and a bad fall in the last year which have both taken their toll physically. Both still sharp and very with it, but conversations with DM tend to revolve around her health and not much else. DF is more sociable but they read the daily Mail and watch too much GB News so conversations about life are becoming more difficult as we don't see eye to eye.

Lockdown killed my wonderful MIL, she went from being a very independent lady, out everyday, to be terrified to leave her home. She was utterly terrified of catching COVID. She did catch COVID whilst she was in hospital, didn’t know she had it, only knew as she tested positive. She recovered quickly from COVID but her cancer sadly spread rapidly and we lost her.

My parents are mid 70s and my father is the same as ever (for better and worse ). He still works and always has done, he's flying to Guernsey on business this week and still stealing other people's cats, complaining about female politicians and infesting the corporate box of every rugby match Ireland plays in.

My mother definitely aged during lockdown - mostly physical, because she has macular degeneration and it causes her to stoop to see things and creep around stooping because she can't see if there's a cat about to trip her up. The effort of doing everything with an older body and increasingly low vision takes a toll on her focus and interest in other things, and since she insists on staying up until 1am every night and getting up at 7am every morning, she tends to fall asleep any time she sits down. It's not fair really because she has always been so healthy apart from the awful sleep habits, whereas my father has done no exercise for decades.

My dad is 69 and I have noticed since he's retired hes got (old) doesn't help he doesn't have friends and my mum is still at work so hes at home all the time waiting for my mum to finish work.

Then he spiralled into vascular dementia at an alarming rate. He went from doing the accounts for the plumber who lived next door to having to live in a care home and not knowing what the fuck was going on within 8 months. It’s been horrific.

My dad died in his 30s, my mum remarried a man much older than her when she was about 50 and has been 'old' ever since. She's always favoured sensible shoes, and had short grayish hair and old ladyish clothes, now she is in her 70s she finally looks like her clothes suit her!

In some ways she's quite independent and self sufficient (widowed about 10 years ago) and definitely still has most of her marbles, but she's referred to herself as old and acted that way since she was not much older than I am now. There's definitely a big generation gap between us that I don't see with a lot of my friends and their parents or, the other way round, their children.

About 72 I think. My mum is still completely compos mentis but she now repeats her stories over and over. Reads news out loud from websites all day and endlessly tells me stories about people I’ve never met and couldn’t give a shit about. I find it really sad because she was sharp and clever and now her world just seems diminished

Mine are 75 and 78 and still don't seem that old. My stepmum has groups of friends she goes walking with and volunteers. My dad has a very busy fishing rota!

They both have their health issues now, sm with her heart and dad is waiting for a shoulder replacement (which he needs to keep fishing!!) but mentally they're not old!

MIL is similar to my folks, she's slowing down but at 76 is still very busy. She divorced fil 25 years ago. He is old! He's 78 but has Alzheimer's and seems 10 years older, physically very slow and on our last visit he didn't recognise me or, we think, his son. Dh was very upset.

My Mum had poor physical and mental health and tbh, she felt old to me from late 50's onwards. There was a strong sense that she'd given up on life. I'm determined not to be the same.

If their health is good, there's no reason this should ever happen. But according to many Mumsnetters it happens at about 45!

This brought a tear to my eye, my parents are the same. Treasure every bloody second xx

Hmm my mum was married at 16 and had 4 children by her early 20s so she doesn’t seem much older than me really 🤔
FIL seemed to only age mid 80s, as pp said Covid accelerated it with him.