When did your parents become “old”?

[GormlessBeast]

What age did they change from being adults you could talk to about stuff to old people?

Where they don’t listen, don’t ask any questions just tell you a list of what they’ve done or some “facts” from the newspaper?

Mum was fairly sensible until she hit 71/72. Now at 77 she’s got an older way about her. We skim over everything and she just tells me things or wants to talk about the DGC. Is this just normal ageing? It’s pretty depressing.

My DP died at 54 and 69 so never really got old, sadly.
MIL was an old woman at 55 when I first met her. FIL not far behind.
My GM was full of fun and still flying abroad alone at 86.

It’s like losing her before she has actually gone

This really resonated with me OP.
My mum is only 68 but she's has started to become exactly as you've described in your first post.
I feel like we've lost the relationship we once had as I don't really talk to her about anything much these days, just general chit chat like you'd have with a work colleague.
She doesn't seem very interested, always turns the conversation to herself and only has about two things she likes to talk about over and over.
I do have some concerns about possible dementia though as well as she's become very forgetful and spends most of her afternoons napping (made redundant during COVID and now retired).
Sad isn't it.

My parents are just turning 60 so still working and totally “with it” mentally but my dad completed his cancer treatment last year and there’s definitely been a bit of a turning point in keeping an eye on what he’s doing physically (he’s still building patios and things but really needs to do things a bit more slowly or he makes himself ill)

My mum also does a LOT of things she moans about my granny doing but I feel I’m very generous in not pointing that out 😅

My parents aged so much through covid, I think it was the social isolation. They went from going out for a meal and heading to watch live music every Sunday with their lovely mates to nothing. Very sad.

Covid and lockdowns are such a common theme here, it’s so utterly heartbreaking.

We hear so much about how younger people had their lives put on hold during the pandemic but I don’t remember hearing any mention in the media of the elderly and the devastating effect it’s had on their lives.

I’m sure that if the pandemic hadn’t happened my lovely mother would still be with us, still giving me tray upon tray of bedding plants which she’d grown from seed and baking her amazing coffee walnut cake for us.

Life has pretty much returned to normal for most of us but irreversible damage has been done to so many of our parents if this thread is anything to go by.

About 84
My mum is still with us and 89, but in a care home.

My DF died at 59 so was never old. He was always interested and interesting.

My DM was always old. Always moaning, never did anything except chase men. Wore old fashioned clothes. Would talk at you about nothing. Unbearable.

My dad never. He died from a stroke at 79, had a hard couple years due to a sporting accident, but he didn't seem 'old' to me.
My mum was in good shape until early 80s. The a couple falls and never quite recovered, then last couple of years she aged a decade. She died at 89.

My parents never lived to any great age to get ‘old’ like that sadly.

My dad was about 77 when he died though - I think that’s quite young to be ‘old’ as you describe.

Some people have an “old” mentality even when young , my mum always seemed “young” until late 80s when serious illness affected her . She and many of her contemporaries at her club for vision impaired people had “Shades of Grey” on audio cassettes, it went around the club , my mum listened to the books , her comment was “ they are very repetitive “😂but she read all of them!

Both 80 and still physically active, travelling and busy people who are interesting to talk too so we will see

My in-laws , who must have been early 50s when I met them ( ‘85) were always old . My dad died at 51 and was definitely not old and my mum died at 78 and was also not old .

Weirdly now myself and mum are having better chats than we’ve had since I’ve been an adult, we always got on, but now she’s telling me her take on school runs when we were kids, what lunches we had, what other parents were like etc. she’s 76 (my eldest is 16 so it’s not like I’m a new mum but maybe I’m asking her more questions or something? Plus I suppose now we’ve arthritis and stuff in common and I had to ask her specifics on stuff like colonoscopies 😅)

One parent died before getting old in either the age sense or your sense.

The other is well over 80, has lots of health problems which affect them physically and to an extent mentally, and isn't like this.

Some people never get 'old' in that sense. Some people get like this relatively young.

Mine and in laws are late 70s/early 80s. They are still ok in terms of chat. There is quite a bit of talk on ailments though.

My mum died in her 50s some time ago so never got to that stage.

My dad is almost 83 and while sprightly enough and still running a farm, I feel he has gone downhill a bit since he turned 80. He's always been a bit forgetful and now I'm watching and listening to him like a hawk, plus his mobility is not as good.

My mum is 82 and I can still talk to her about anything. She has maybe become a bit more repetitive- not to the extent that it stops you having a conversation though. My dad is 87 and he does seem old now. Partly because his hearing isn't good - otherwise he's in pretty good health.