Newly Weds, baby or enjoy couple time first?

[pastrio]

This will be us soon and I am very broody and have been for years. Our parents are not getting younger & we have been so excited to start a family for ages now, but we are trying not to be naive and from reading posts on here about how difficult and life altering people find parenthood. Some posters seem like they will never have fun again! It makes me wonder if we are wearing rose tinted glasses and should make the most of couple time first, holidays, lazy lie ins, two fulltime incomes and so on.

We ourselves are young (still both in our 20s) but I also like the prospect of having lots of energy, and wonder if its maybe wiser to not get too accustomed to lots of holidays and splashing the cash. As I mentioned we really value our support network as neither of us have siblings to rely upon so it would be great if our parents were as young as they could possibly be so they can be active in our child/children’s life. We likely only want one, possibly two if this alters the answers I’m not sure

What would / did you do and would you change it?

@TheBirdintheCave I'm autistic too and bloody hell it is so much harder than I could ever imagine.

I married at 40 and due to that got pregnant immediately. We would have loved a few years to travel together snd just enjoy each other child free. I also was building my career in my 20s, so even if I married then would not have wanted kids right away.
I'd wait til I was 30 at least in your shoes.
Kids are yours for life - they don't ever stop being a worry, and their teens can be the hardest in many ways.

Thank you all, interesting mix of answers here and I have read every one of them. We have been together several years and lived together for two of those soon to be three
In practical terms we wouldn’t miss going out for drinks or on nights out as we don’t really do that. We enjoy two or three holidays a year and see this might have to reduce!

We visited Austria with a 7 mth old baby, up chairlifts, long walks

The spring before he started school we toured California - 10 days touring 4 days in Disney.

They are a PITB to travel will from about 10mths to 3. When they just want to be on the move

If you have the funds to do so, whilst you are young and healthy and have young eggs, I would do a round or two of IVF and bank some embryos. Having seen people struggle later. You can do this abroad a lot cheaper and have a holiday and then enjoy some more child free time first if you wish.

Thank you although I don’t think we’d do this expensive and gruelling procedure if we didn’t biologically have to

If you are in agreement have a bit of newlywed time. It really sets you up for the aching tiredness of the early childrearing years.

As a pp has said the year I was 30 something clicked and just felt nights out and holidays were secondary to having a child with DH (+ he was almost 40).

Me and my husband were together 12 years before we had a baby- I was 19 when we got together. We spent time travelling, having extravagant meals out and lovely holidays. I'm so so glad we did. Our DD is 19 months old now and we do still go away and have an amazing time but jeez it's different. A baby also puts a huge strain on your relationship- the start is tough but it gets so much better! Or did in my case and we're TTC now again