I almost got taken out by a canoe. What strange near misses have you had?

[CanoeAndOut]

I'm taking liberties with the term almost here but I'm curious to know what strange fates you've almost met?

This morning I almost got taken out by a canoe. I was walking past a row of houses next to the canal when I came to one with its door open but there was no one in sight, I went to walk on and next thing a whole bloody canoe came flying out, hitting me and knocking me onto the road where a car had to emergency brake to avoid me. I'm bruised and sore but ok.

So, what strange near misses have you had?

My dd done this only at the nottom of the hill was a lake... I was also tending to my other dd who was only weeks old in the summer. Never seen DH move so quick and thankfully another dad noticed and also ran at her! Bloody terrifying!

I was standing in for a member of my dad's pub quiz team. I'd just been leaning sideways towards my dad to discuss an answer (round tables). We both sat up straight again and then a huge loud speaker on a tripod stand fell over, hitting the edge of the table in between us. As it was, I just had a grazed elbow but I and/ or my dad would have been seriously injured, if not dead, had it happened ten seconds earlier.

I used to work for the DVSA and it was a thing that scaffolding trucks are the most likely to be dodgy - lots of badly maintained/unsafe vehicles and poorly secured loads. I keep away from them when I'm driving now.

Dad and I got caught in a rip tide in lanzorote when I was around about 9...we were on a secluded part on the beach off the main strip. I don't think my mum even knew we had gone for a dip it was late afternoon.

We realised the current had taken us far, far out to sea (I was playing on a inflatable lilo to begin with). It was quite scary, we threw the inflatable as it was taking us further away and tried to swim against the tide towards the spec of shore in the distance but the sea was incredibly strong and in one drag of the waves we'd be further back. I was a good swimmer but the water was freezing compared to the warm water by the shoreline. My legs got cramp. Eventually my dad realised we had to swim sideways, and for what felt like an eternity we swam until we were picked up by a local fishing boat who had spotted our heads bobbing above the waves. I honestly don't think I'd be here if weren't spotted by that boat- we we're both exhausted with swimming.

I've taught my kids the different types of waves to look out for, float to live and I'm horribly vigilant on beach holidays!

Not as life and death as some of these but would certainly have caused some strange injuries…

I was once walking along a path under some tall trees and suddenly a huge thud in front of me - 2 squirrels rolling in a ball fighting fell out of a tree about 1ft in front of me. Just glad they didn’t fall on my head 😂

I slipped on ice on a path above a raging torrent pouring over rocks about 10-15 feet below me. I managed to grab a metal chain that went from post to post along the edge of the path and regain my footing - my feet were over the edge. That would have been a cold and unpleasant end.

In the car with the DC on a motorway. My mind has scarred over the exact sequence of events, but it was something like, lorry to my right, coach suddenly starting pulling out of the inside lane next to and slightly in front of me towards the lorry. I had to slam my brakes on and pull over or the DC and I would have been minced between the coach and the lorry. I still get the chills if I ever drive that stretch of road. I think we must have been in the coach driver's blind spot.

I was heavily pregnant, sitting with toddler DD on our front fence waiting for DH so come home from work as we often did.
After he drove up the driveway and we were waddling to the front door there was a huge bang.
A teenager had been distracted by her phone while driving and had left the road and drove right through our brick fence right where we had been sitting moments before.

Had a VERY near miss with a rickshaw in a narrow street in Glasgow!! 😮

Turning an idiot horse out; I'd been a bit nervous because he was massive and had form for being a dick. Was a windy day, too.

I'd just reached up to unbuckle his headcollar when the next thing i knew i was sitting on the floor with blood pissing from my face. Thought he'd clobbered me but when I'd sorted myself out a bit there was a huge chunk of branch on the floor in front of me. It had fallen from the tree over the gate and hit both of us - the poor bugger had taken the brunt because he was so much taller than me. We both ended up with cuts and bruises but if it had hit me square I'd probably have been badly hurt, even with my helmet on!

Weirdly we bonded after that and he was as good as gold!

I was driving along in my mini at 60 mph on my way to work - following a sheep lorry fully of sheep - two layers. All of a sudden the back end lowered until it was about 2 inches off the road and I was looking at about 100 sheep who were looking at me and the road. I had visions of them all flying out the back if he braked. I managed to get in front of him and put my hazards on and arm out of the window gesturing to stop down and he did I pulled in and he pulled in behind and I said ‘your sheep were all looking at me.’ He went round to the back and was shutting himself and then did the ramp up - apparently they were rare breed of sheep being moved from one place to other - poor driven was pale and shaking 😂🤦‍♀️

Sounds very Wallace and Gromit 🤣
Especially with your username 🤣🤣

On holiday in a beautiful French city, with husband, one evening walking down some old narrow walkways between houses, very atmospheric. Suddenly something whizzes past my head and smashes on the ground, narrowly missing me. My husband said it would have made an interesting story that it was the drugs that killed me - was a very large nice potted cannabis plant falling from a windowsill.

When I had two small children, aged 2 and 3, I decided to make the big cardboard box from our new washing machine into a playhouse in the garden.

Having made sure they were safely out of the way, I nipped in and got a large, pointy kitchen knife to cut out the door and windows. After making a nice door, I turned it around to do a window. As soon as I'd finished sawing the cardboard, the window popped open and my three year old peered out, calling 'Hello Mummy!'

I nearly screamed.

Browsing in Primark and suddenly there was a massive thud in from of me, a kid age 5/6 had fallen over the escalator balcony. He was bruised and shocked but other otherwise ok.

Parked my car in my parents drive way on a small incline, heavily pregnant sister was walking up the drive way as my car started, slowly at first, roll towards her then suddenly was hurdling towards her at speed. she started waddling sideways to get out of the way as I dived towards her and pushed her on to the lawn.
We both felt the car brush our arms as it sped passed.
It went flying across the road and into ditch on other side.