I almost got taken out by a canoe. What strange near misses have you had?

[CanoeAndOut]

I'm taking liberties with the term almost here but I'm curious to know what strange fates you've almost met?

This morning I almost got taken out by a canoe. I was walking past a row of houses next to the canal when I came to one with its door open but there was no one in sight, I went to walk on and next thing a whole bloody canoe came flying out, hitting me and knocking me onto the road where a car had to emergency brake to avoid me. I'm bruised and sore but ok.

So, what strange near misses have you had?

I was heading towards worthing and was sat there thinking do I stay on or come off and last second decided to cross the other lane and come off the bypass just before the airport and go towards the beach. Had gone round the loop and was on the straight road going towards shoreham beach when it came down on the a27. Didn't know it had hit the road until a few hours later. There were people outside a pub with their hands over their mouths pointing and I saw the fire in my wing mirror. Terrible tragedy for those men who were killed.

A fake head fell off a display in a shop onto my head and floored me, I was very pregnant at the time too.
Sales assistant picked up the head, put it back, replaced the hat, fiddled with the position of both the hat and the head then peered down at me and asked if I was ok.
I had a lump on my head but survived

Crashed a skidoo off a ravine and it sort of wedges on some tree trunks/ branches so I didn't meet an icy watery death

I don't know shoreham that well but looking on the map I hadn't got as far as the longshore - think the pub I was near was Amsterdam Inn

I nearly got crushed between two double decker buses on my bike.

The one on the right was in the lane of traffic next to me. The one on the left had been parked at a bus stop but pulled out without noticing me into my lane and nearly smashed me against the right hand bus.

When he realised, I think he was as scared as I was by what almost happened.

Age 11 riding my bike down a steep hill which became an old bridge with no sides and 20 foot drop. Aim is to turn along bridge at bottom of hill and ride into road then. I only remember setting off from the top of the hill then suddenly being under the bridge in the water. My brain must have shut off when I went off the side. Missed a massive bough by inches which would have broken my neck killing me.

I was walking by dog by a local college, doggo dawdling around as usual.

I finally got her to move on from sniffing a spot on the floor, as I stepped forward a large computer monitor came flying out of the top floor window and landed on the pavement where I'd been standing.

No doubt in my mind that it would have killed me if it had landed on me.

Walking along the pavement and was scalped by a bus wing mirror. Blood everywhere and my scalp was stapled back together. Poor bus driver was in shock too as I was whisked off in an ambulance. Still don’t know if he’d failed to raise the bus after someone had got off or what on earth meant the wing mirrors were so low!

I have nearly tripped down the stairs more than once because of this! Luckily only ever max gone a step or two down. I also only wear cuffed bottoms now…

A van overtook me on a dual carriageway and a scaffolding pole fell off it and smashed through my drivers side front side window while I was doing 70mph.

I was stood at a bus stop in Courchevel once and a block of snow fell off a hotel roof from 4 floors up and landed on my head and knocked me out

I fell from the upstairs landing to the hall on the ground floor aged about 1. I cannot remember it happening but even more than 50 years later the story gets trotted out by DM.

I was eating dinner in a mediocre ex-soviet hotel in Havana on the first night of a cycling tour. I’d just picked a burger up of my plate and a huge coconut fell off the tree above me, smashing onto my plate and glass. Missed my head (and dinner) by inches!

Walking along the pavement and was scalped by a bus wing mirror.

^

Fucking hell 😮

A few years ago DDs, then aged 3&5, were happily 0laying on their swing set. Called them in for a drink. A few minutes later, massive crash in the garden. We went outside to find a tree had come down onto the swings.

Same!
I wasn't scalped but I did get hit in the face and got a bruise on my cheekbone.

Some scary stories here!

Long story short, I once missed being hit by a car at top speed because I felt a sharp tug on my ponytail and stopped in my tracks, puzzled. I would definitely have been badly hurt at the very least. It wasn't long after my mum died and I feel someone was looking out for me that day. No explanation as no-one was behind me.

Bloody hell. Poor you. I hope the one responsible for this almost tragedy was exceedingly apologetic. If he/she wasn’t, then what an AH.

Grew up close to an Iron Age hill fort which has unfortunately been turned into a golf course (the land around it I mean). After my GSCE English language exam (or was it Lit?) I went to sit in the battlement to chill out and look out to sea. Then out of nowhere a golf ball shoots past my head, missing me by MMs I imagine. It was a couple of kids with borrowed golf clubs having a go at playing a match when they should have stuck to the driving range. I snatched their ball up but they didn’t notice. They did apologise for almost killing me but were more interested in getting back to their rubbish game. Hope they spent ages looking for that horrible missile.

My dad has had a few brushes with death - worst was when he got dragged out to sea by a riptide in Devon (and not a single family member had bought their damn phone with them! - I was up in London working). Remote beach too, barely anyone about apart from a walking miracle that was a local with links to the Life Boat / Sea Rescue org. He had his phone and he said, as soon as someone is in trouble in the water, dont wait to raise the alarm. My dad was rescued by a little fishing trawler that got the radio call and he was then winched up by helicopter. Then put in an ambulance (he used its phone to call me, knows my mob number off by heart bless him). Then he was taken to hospital (all covered in fish guts - because of the trawler). Alls well that ends well.

I almost got hit by a dead squirrel. And I once got the cat's leg caught between my toes and nearly fell down the stairs.

When I was a toddler, so about 1970, I sat my little bottom on the edge of a display of lights in John Lewis, Oxford Street. The entire thing collapsed on me and scattered (probably gplan standard lamps) far and wide.
I was extracted without injury but bawling. Turned out that the entire display was perched on 2 milk crates! But that was the 1970s for you.

Waiting to cross a road in heavy snow - a bus stopped in front of me and slid towards me. It was stopped by a STOP sign. The driver just stared at me while I went, "oh dear!" It was only a couple of hours later that I realised what could have happened!

Not me but ds23

He was walking to the railway museum in york

To get to it you have to either walk or drive through a short-ish tunnel if your coming from the city centre

He was running late and his dog wouldn't stop stopping to have a sniff of just about everything

The dog stopped yet again to sniff a hedge and my son tugged on his lead to get him moving-they came through the other side
just as a man fired and shot another man on the same side as my son

If the dog hadn't stopped to sniff whatever he was sniffing my son would have walked through that tunnel and walked into the gunfire

As it was,he was caught up in it,but thankfully unhurt

I nearly got run over by a man on a Penny Farthing in Central London. And it was during this century I hasten to add.

Apparently they're not as maneuverable and take longer to stop than modern bikes

I think I have a guardian Angel. I used to be a social services carer & every week, I went to the local butchers for a couple who lived near me. Exactly the same time every week. This particular day, the couple were ill so I didn’t go to the butchers. At the exact time I would have been there, a car crashed into the shop killing the woman driver. The shop was flattened so if I had been there, I would have probably been killed too. Luckily the butcher was out the back but apparently he never got over it.

Adult dc was watching younger ones while I was at work. Went outside to see the dc and found ds about 7 hanging from the swing with the rope twisted round his neck... Had to grab a sharp knife and cut him down.... His neck was purple and he was terrified but OK... Obviously exh made a big deal about it. Unlike him I had left them with an adult. He just used to leave 3 under 10 home alone.

I was carrying a portable TV downstairs and I slipped. I didn't want to land on the portable TV or for it to smash into my downstairs TV so made a split second decision to throw it up in the air (🤨). I landed at the bottom of the stairs and the TV landed on my head.

No idea how I wasn't badly hurt.