Anyone up? Would I be stupid to ring the police?

[LadyBird1973]

Non emergency number obviously .

My husband has gone out on a work do, had more to drink than he realises, thinks he's sober and isn't, so can't have a proper conversation where he listens to what I'm saying he should do. He's stuck mikes from his hotel, no transport and was sitting at a bus stop waiting for a bus that won't come til tomorrow and can't see why this is a problem!

Is it totally irresponsible if I called the police and asked them to help him? Would they even do it, given men do stupid shit like this all the time?

I'm stressed though. And too far to go and get him.

She was talking about having words with him when he got home, poster advised not to and get him bacon sandwich, presumably when he is home!

Possibly your drunken man-child can find his own way home?

Don't have words. Let the natural consequences do their work.

Otherwise, next time it'll be "I'd better not drink too much, else she'll get mad". Rather than "I'd better not drink too much, else I'll end up sitting drunk and lost for ages at a bus stop, and have a stinking hangover again".

The first situation sets up a dynamic where you're like his mum, and the second one sets up a dynamic where he's an adult.

Taxi!

I'm also surprised! People can be mugged, beaten up or worse when they are by vulnerable and clearly very intoxicated and lost.

The police is a bit far but you were right to be concerned I'm glad he's made it back. The DH did this once I'm a neighbouring city thank god was completely incapable of conversation and wandering the city centre street, I had to go and find him took best park of 2+ hours I was very pissed off and yes he had right royal bollocking the next morning!!!

We all make mistakes it was a one off and I was just glad when he was safe. Give him hell OP lol

A right royal bollocking

It is so weird how women wish to act as mothers to their husbands.

I can’t believe the amount of people saying leave him. Imagine if that was you and your partner just left you there if figure it out. Glad he managed to figure it out and hope you are okay too!

He's a grown man who has chosen to have a few too many. The police have better things to do, dealing with actual crime. They're very busy. Her other half just needs to grow up and take some responsibility. Being out on a warm night didn't hurt him.

This was resolved four hours ago. Why so many posts still making a fuss about it?

I'm not the kind of wife who doesn't give a shit if my husband is drunk and potentially vulnerable somewhere. I'm not going to happily go to sleep and just leave him to it! Yes, he's a grown man, but grown men come to harm every day - Maybe he'd have been okay, maybe not. That wasn't something I felt comfortable washing my hands of!

This is very much a one off. Perhaps my attitude would be different if he did it all the time and I'd start to think that it isn't my problem, but I don't believe I'd stay in that kind of relationship, where I'd ceased to care.

I do agree that the police would have been overkill and Im glad you all talked me out of it - that was middle of the night stress thinking and not knowing what to do to help him.

But I don't want to behave like his mum and I resent being put in a position where I felt I had to. Some of you will think I chose to do that but for me I felt I had no option since I couldn't just leave him to it and if the position had been reversed, I'd be incredibly upset if my husband took a 'not my circus' approach and left me to just cope or not.

Whether he gets a bacon sandwich or not, depends on whether I get a nap today

He did eventually get to his hotel, and I know he didn't intend to cause worry.

You don't go to sleep if your husbands on a night out?!

I didn’t mean for OP to contact the police.
I absolutely agree with OP, yeah he’d had a few too many - we’ve all been there. I once got stuck after a night out, hadn’t had to many drinks but I was in a very vulnerable position and my husband managed to help me, he arranged for someone to help.

I meant that the amount of people saying he’s a grown man he can sort himself out shocked me, I wonder what the comments would have been like if it was the other way around - if a men all said leave a women who was drunk and alone to sort herself out during the nights im sure there would have been hell on.

Following for the hangover story!

Grown adults, men or women, can do very stupid things and make dangerous decisions when under the influence. There was a local case recently where a soldier was trying to make his way back to barracks staggering along a winding A road after a night out, and got run over and killed. If he had been the loved one of a lot of people on here, presumably they’d be thinking “Ah, well, he’s an adult. His decision”.

I wouldn't have not given a shit... I wouldn't have called the police; because rightly or wrongly, I'd be concerned that if the officer who attended was having a rough shift, or if your DH was awkward, he could stand a chance of being put in a cell to sober up... and I'm not sure he'd thank you for that.

I wouldn't give him a bollocking today. He'll probably have a banging headache, anyway; so natural consequences will reign supreme, but I'd also presume he'll have thought about it, and you don't need to mother him to that extent. I would tell him you need a nap if you do, and I'd expect him to hold the fort to allow that to happen if he's capable of doing that.

I didn't call the police but they called me once. My husband went to a work thing and must have had a few drinks that messed with his medication as he was ill at a bus stop - but being a City lawyer was very smartly dressed (and still in the City). Someone must have called the police or they may have spotted him (it wasn't late, and quite a busy area). They got my number (ICE) off his phone and asked me to come get him. They waited with him. He was ok, just sitting there not really wanting to move (as he was nauseous). They helped me get him in the car and I got him to bed. He didn't remember anything about it in the morning, and while he certainly has had a merry time at work dos before, this was very out of character and it never happened again.

Would I be happy with the knowledge? No of course not. Would I be worried and pissed off that he'd got himself in that situation? Yes

But would I call the police? No. Its essentially just a man doing something stupid.

If I were I'm the vicinity I'd probably pick him up, or if I knew where he was call a taxi. But people do this sort of thing all the time and the police don't have the time or resources to deal with all the drunken men sleeping at bus stops/train stations/parks

They would leave him

They are not a taxi service.. have you even thought about a taxi or Uber, you know like normal people do

Really surprised at the replies on this one.
Turns out some people don't really give a shit about their partners.

I wouldn't phone the police in this situation, but I'd definitely be worried about the safety of my oh and would be actively trying to help them.

Drunk adults go missing, fall over and hit their heads, get hit by cars, drown in water... etc...

But, 'fuck them, they're grown adults making their own decisions, they can deal with the consequences' seems to be the consensus here

But how would I, his loved one, 200 miles away, have prevented him from walking down a road?

He was an adult. It was his decision. I don't understand your point. Should his family who weren't there feel guilt for having not done more?

@BackAgain2023 usually I would sleep but dd wasn't feeling well and I was awake anyway. Sent him a text and then he phoned. That's when I found out he was lost and not very coherent.

@Cas112 I addressed the taxi thing earlier in the thread. He wasn't in the right state of mind to sort his own taxi out and I couldn't really send one without knowing his exact location or if he'd still be there when the taxi arrived. He wasn't the easiest to talk to!

Anyway, he's fine. Doesn't seem to have a hangover, so probably didn't drink loads but was affected more because he's out of the habit of drinking.

I remember years ago my dozy brother getting shit faced and walking home along the dual carriageway in winter in his t shirt. The police picked him up and brought him home before he got himself killed - it was on my mind that people make poor decisions when drunk.

Thanks again for all your comments. I've calmed down now. I am bearing in mind the comments about behaving like his mum - this is something I'm not keen to do generally, so that has given me something to mull over.

He wasn't on an A road though, he was at a bus stop. A drunk person walking down the dual carriageway, or a busy dark road is potential to involve the police. A drunk man waiting at a bus stop is not.

I had this exact situation with my now DH several years ago. He was walking home from a night out, possibly works xmas meal, very drunk and decided he was so cold because it was snowy he was going to have a nap on a bench.

We had a phone call, I called him a few more times. He made it home safe.

Of course I was worried about him. But honestly he was also okay, just being a bit silly because he was drunk. Maybe if he'd stopped answering his phone things would have been different. My main worry was because it was snowy, not the sleeping on a bench. He also slept in a park once when he was 18.

As it was Op DH was answering his phone, it's a warm evening and he wasn't in the middle of a dual carriageway. Presumably its a relatively built up area, people will walk past. People sober up relatively quickly in the fresh air

Make sure he downloads Uber next time he goes out.

But are you going to call the police everytime adults are drunk?

People do stupid things all the time, nothing you can do about it