Are UK parents obsessed with getting their kids to bed early?

[RosieLeaLovesTea]

Am I the only one that thinks UK parents are obsessed with getting their kids to bed early? I see posts of 7pm/7.30pm, some as early as 6pm.

I work full time and don’t get home until 6.30pm. We don’t eat until 7pm. So generally 9pm is bedtime. Plus it means that if we do go out at weekends our kids are used to going to bed a bit later.

Yeah, it is definitely cultural.

I have loads of UK friends who go to bed at 9/10pm. I dont think Ive had that bedtime since I was a very very small child.

I am a night owl, and my job is not 9-5, so for most of my time in the UK (14 years) I wasnt even finished with work by 10pm

Im back in portugal now, but working shifts, so one week ill be finishing at 1am, the next week I might be starting at 8am... And thats tough! Im not sure how Im supposed to go to bed early enough to get enough sleep, when my natural/normal bedtime has been 2am for the past couple of decades!

But plenty of us manage all that just on an earlier schedule. We have 'professional jobs', but we work from home and have flexible working, so we do all the things you say, just a bit earlier in the day. It's not about priorities, it's just about individual family schedules and working patterns.

Surely it's whatever works for each household.
Up until very recently DS2 has needed to be in bed by 7pm as he was so tired - and tired to him means screaming and crying and everything becoming a problem to him. Why would I keep him up?

He's just turned 2 and now has nights where he's not as desperate for sleep at 7 so guess what, we don't rush him off to bed.

He sleeps through the night, waking around 8am, 8.40 this morning, so clearly needs the sleep. It wouldn't be fair on him for me to keep him up because it suits my needs.

It’s a thing in the US too. I’m English, but my friends are mortified I let my children stay up till 8-8.30pm, sometimes 9pm. We eat around 5.30-6 and so by the time that’s done and baths or play time, we don’t do settle down time until around 8pm. It just works for us and means my husband gets to see them. Otherwise he’d be home and I’d be off doing evening routine and he’d miss out. Once they start school we may shift to 7pm tho as children start school crazy early!

My daughter who almost 5 goes to asleep by 7:30pm most night and wake up around 6:30am. She need at least 10 hours sleep. And I definitely wouldn't say 6:30am is early most people need to be up and ready to drop the kids off at nursery/school around 8am before they start work. It's not about not wanting to to spend to with the kids just not practical for most families in the uk I think.

My DD seems to gravitate towards a later bedtime no matter what we do. She has been going to sleep after 9pm for years now. On the plus side she doesn’t wake up super early. I’ve had so much judgement from other parents about this that I don’t talk about it much now. Ive noticed that if we go to playgrounds or parks in the summer after about 6pm it’s always European families still out.

Different strokes - different folks. I’m fairly relaxed about bedtime. Very busy house and working FT. Three kids aged almost 8 to 10. One is a lark and practically begs to go to bed if he’s up at 8.30. He gets up early.- before 7am even at weekends. The other two would happily stay up to 9pm 10pm but have to be woken 7.30 - or 10 /11 am at weekend.

My dc have always been late sleepers, regardless of wake up times. Currently 11 yr old can't fall asleep before 10:30 and up around 7; 7yr old falls asleep a little later and up around 8am.

However, some extra curricular activities tend to go on until 8pm. Hard to get them in bed any sooner really.

Dh and I don't sleep a lot (6 hours works), but SIL is usually mortified when mention the time my dc go to bed- she states she can't cope if it's past 8/8.30.
Different strokes for different folks!

@VintageBlossomHill posted and saw your post mentioned different strokes- different folks 😂

quite. If kids didn’t adjust sleep patterns then no-one would take them on long haul flights.

My DC woke up at 5am ish everyday for years regardless of late nights. One night was home after 2am, up at 6. Flight home by 5am and awake an hour later. As a teenager he does NOT sleep in or late. So what would you suggest I did?

I'm with you!

That does sound difficult! I don't think I would be able to do that, it takes awhile to change your body clock. I've actually read its not good to do shift work long term, so maybe look into that. All the best!

Why do sleep patterns need to adjust/change if a 6:30-7pm bedtime works for them and their child?

Well if you are telling me that an 8 year old, 6 year old and 3 year old all ‘mill about’ nicely finding they own things to do whilst you read a book or have a couple of hours chill time maybe you should write a book on your amazing parenting because the rest of us are clearly doing it wrong!?

Shift work is almost a necessity in my line of work.
And I also wouldnt cope with a 9-5 job, as having to wake up early every single day would drive me off the edge. (not that they exist in my industry! It would be 7am starts, which would be even worse!! LOL)

Unfortunately, my ideal job does not exist in Portugal (and I have no plans to go back to the UK), so this is a good compromise.

Eastern European (and central European) culture here. I think the difference is that we don't really expect to have much of a quiet time in the evening when we have children. Once you've got them - they are just there, as part of the family, annoying as they might sometimes be.

Obviously, we do eventually send them to bed, but it wouldn't occur to me to not eat together in the evening, which means children waiting for us to come home from work and cook.

Oh, and we also believe in naps! Mine were sometimes having a quick one after school and a long one at weekends. Saying that - I used to hate having to take a nap when I was a child!

Mine is definitely a 5am waker regardless of bedtime. A very late bedtime (830 or later) might set him back to 545 but it isn’t enough overall sleep.

I think like a lot of things it is easy to be blasé and scoff at the stupidity of other peoples ‘obsessions’ but when you see it detrimentally affect your child it is different.

As for teaching two year olds about quiet time so adults can sit up and read books, ha ha ha ha ha.

And I do think the thread is unpleasant. It’s got more than a faint air of superiority to the free spirited, loving parents who are happy for their well behaved toddlers to mill around until 10pm while they laugh and chat over books and wine, while anal, uptight parents bundle their unwanted brats into bed at 7 then are tight lipped about their early wakeups.

It just doesn’t fit with RL. I actually sleep trained my then-18 month old just over a year ago. I was in a very low place as our pattern was he would wake three hours after going to sleep and refuse to go back to his bed meaning he came in with me. The problem was he wasn’t content to lie quietly on his side of the bed, he had to be ON me. Being pinned to one place all night with a toddler on me was so hot and suffocating and I never got any quality sleep (and he still woke early) and we were in a horrible cycle of overtiredness. He was going to bed with me at around 9 which was very late, waking at 12, then waking at least twice overnight before waking at about 6. It wasn’t good.

He now goes to bed 7-730 and he does wake early. I’ve tried every trick in the book and he still wakes early. It’s just him. Keeping him up until 9 really wouldn’t be good for anybody. He’s been up twice tonight as it is which isn’t usual and I think it’s because he had a very late night Saturday. So now im
awake and I’ll probably go back to sleep just as he’s waking for the day at 5 … happy days 😅

I think with small children and toddlers we do what we need to survive, I don’t think there can be any judgement!

6-year-old going to bed at 7pm feels strange to me, but again that’s a cultural difference.

I try to get mine to sleep before 8:30 or the next morning is awful because they're still tired. They're six and four and have to be at school for 8:15!

I found it to be the same in the US

Kids wake up at 6.30am, especially at this time of year

If we put them to bed late, they just end up with not enough sleep

It's not a matter of them being annoying, some children need more sleep, mine easily will sleep 12 hours. Sleep is also restorative, so its actually important that they get enough sleep if they need it. You can still have a meal with them, it just means you have to do it earlier on their schedule and it requires a bit of planning. Getting a few extra hours to yourself is obviously a bonus 😉🍷