Are UK parents obsessed with getting their kids to bed early?

[RosieLeaLovesTea]

Am I the only one that thinks UK parents are obsessed with getting their kids to bed early? I see posts of 7pm/7.30pm, some as early as 6pm.

I work full time and don’t get home until 6.30pm. We don’t eat until 7pm. So generally 9pm is bedtime. Plus it means that if we do go out at weekends our kids are used to going to bed a bit later.

Completely agree. We’ve always aimed for 9pm school nights for our under 10’s and 10pm school nights for our over 10’s. Mine wake by 7am on a school morning and 9am on a weekend.
they’re all thriving, healthy and do well in school.
my husband was put to bed at 5pm every night as a child! He said he’d hear children out playing in the summer and wouldn’t sleep for another 5 hours but wasn’t allowed a drink or to go to the loo. I’d also like to add that if my children ever have issues sleeping I allow them to get up use the loo, get a drink. I don’t believe in shutting my children away so I can have ‘adult time’ they respect when their dad and I are having ‘alone’ time, we’re really honest about that. And so far it’s been stress free because we’re more relaxed and are all mindful of each other’s needs etc.
British parents are controlling and sometimes quite selfish towards children.

My children start school at 8.30, before school clubs start at 7.30, so they really do need to be in bed as early as possible. My daughter is an absolute nightmare if she doesn't have enough sleep, my ds can manage okay but dd really does need to be in bed by 7/7.30 and I still have to wake her up every morning for school. We are more relaxed at the weekend but we do really value child free evenings!

DS is in bed by seven, gets up between 7/7:30 sometimes closer to eight of went had a particularly busy day.
I can't have him getting up much later than that and get to work/nursery etc on time, clearly he needs a good twelve hours. He starts school full time in September and I assume he'll need just as much sleep then if not more!
We were at a wedding yesterday and he fell asleep on DH around 11pm, absolutely fine for events. Got up at 8:45 this morning and napped for most of the two hour drive home

I mean, we have no idea what age group she's talking about so it's kind of pointless discussion

When I was a stay at home parent I couldn't wait to see the back of them put them to bed! Sometimes I'd put them down at 6.30. We had great fun together in the day but I'm not ashamed to say I'd had enough of them by the evening.

I love a grown up evening after bedtime spent reading a novel, cooking or seeing friends. It feels luxurious and positively indulgent after a long day with the sprogs. Its more perplexing to me that people would want their kids around in the evening. They probably have greater patience than me!

I think it has a lot to do with parents wanting the evening to themselves. Not because the kids actually need to be in bed that early. My own mother used to make me eat on my own then force me into bed at 7pm, where I lay on my own for two hours and looked out of the window or read a book. Occasionally she would check on me, force me back into bed and take my book away. I would just get another book out after she left.

My own kids eat with us, stay up till 8.30-9.00, and when they go to bed they go straight to sleep. So I have none of the problems that my mother had with me, when she used to call me disruptive and selfish because I wouldn’t go to sleep at 7pm.

Even nowadays I know some parents who are obsessed with stupidly early bedtimes and not letting kids share adult dinners at the table. It’s selfish. If you want the evening to yourself get a hamster. Not a child.

I do feel like in this country sleeping in the morning is seen as some kind of moral failure, if you're not up and about by 7am you're lazy and feckless. So everyone has to go to bed early so we can all be up early for some reason.

It was beneficial to our family life that I did NOT get woken up at stupid o'clock every morning. I am not a morning person and don't do earlier than about 7.15. Wake me up early at your peril.

It always made me laugh when friends would say:
"You put your dd to bed at 9?! Ooh, I couldn't do without my evenings!".
They'd send their kids to bed at 6.30-7 and then moan like hell when they were woken at a quarter to five in the morning. Fuck that.

All I’m reading here is Me Me Me. You chose to have kids. You don’t get to put them back in the box when you’re sick of playing with them. It’s not that other people want their kids around in the evening - they’re just not so selfish and don’t put their own desires ahead of their kids needs.

British parents are controlling and sometimes quite selfish towards children.

Some may be, but imo that's quite a sweeping statement. There's nothing selfish about making sure your children have a peaceful relaxing bedtime and get sufficient sleep to thrive the next day. And for some children, that might require a 7pm bedtime.

Totally agree with you! We are UK born and raised but I just can't get my head around this need for the majority of parents getting their children to bed so early.

I once met a woman who put her child to bed at 4.30pm, I shit you know. I was horrified!!!

We all go to bed at the same time as a family, head upstairs to do teeth and jammies at 10pm, then in bed by 10.30pm.

I always find the families who have rigid early bed times massively struggle with a change of routine, such as being invited to an event. We don't have any issues with this at all and even if we're up at midnight, say for New Year's, our children have no problem with it at all.

It baffles me. I live in Spain kids dint eat until 9 so go to bed much later dint under the obsession with early bedtimes in the UK

Earlier the better for me, I like having a free evening 🤷‍♀️ I'm a SAHM so I'm shattered by 7pm! My DC sleeps about 12/13 hours so suits us perfectly.

Mine were always 8pm to about 7-7.30am from babies until about age 10. I had friends who were shocked and horrified by this but then one friend was utterly obsessed with her DS going to sleep by 6pm she said he was so tired and needed to sleep. He was up by 5-5.30am the next day and she would be shattered, he shared a room with his elder brother so she had to get up with him.

We all went camping once and even on holiday all the other DC went to bed ridiculously early, there were tuts when I allowed mine up later (about 10pm) then we’re a lot older by this time. Come the next day mine rise about 8.30am and there’s had been up hours but had been told to be quiet as not to wake other campers. I didn’t see the point.

I think it also depends on your family too, when mine were younger DH didn’t get home to 7pm so would have saw them plus as they got older the clubs they went to were on later.

Well you either get your evenings or a later start, so it's just what you prioritise and what fits in with your lifestyle. Both ours are in bed by 7 and up at 6am and that works for us. We will keep them up if we are doing something special etc but on a normal night they go to bed early, they go straight to sleep and then they are up at 6, which is fine for us.

And no it's not selfish to need adult time in the evenings, especially if you are a lone parent.

This topic gets wheeled out every summer... superior types claiming their way is better but it's not- just different!!

Everyone is different and has different needs.

You work so later bed is good for you.

Others need downtime after a full on day being SAHP.

Others need time with their partner

Others their child needs to sleep enough and regardless of bedtime they still wake at 6am so early bed is needed.

It's judgemental crap threads are infuriating

FWIW my kids went to bed later when younger as it worked for me so this isn't defence on my part!

@Bharath my kids were both under 3 at the time so it's not like they gave a shit. But yeah, I love the me time and not ashamed to admit it! I quite regularly go for dinner with mates after bedtime or to see live music. It's bliissss

I find it weird that people care what others do frankly. What does it matter to you if someone has their kids in bed at 7? Bedtimes are not a sign of moral failings or superiority.

It’s not that other people want their kids around in the evening - they’re just not so selfish and don’t put their own desires ahead of their kids needs.

I find this view a bit odd because at the weekends I selfishly let my DC1 stay up pretty late even though they're tired because I'm busy with the baby and can't be bothered to start bedtime for the older one and they're just pottering about quietly watching TV and playing with toys. So it's much less trouble just to let DC1 be and then quickly do teeth and pop them into bed when I see their eyes start to close. I also know I'll get a long lie that way. But it's probably not what's best for DC, who starts to look quite tired and could do with an earlier bedtime with stories and wind-down time.

I start bath/bed at 7 on nights he doesn't have activities. I'd let him sleep later but we have to be up at 6:30 and I don't want him to be tired for school or sports.

What's wrong with people doing what suits their family? You like later, some like earlier, it's not up to anyone except the parents.

Sleep deprivation is a recognised issue in Spain.

Why can’t adults ‘read a novel’ or ‘have time with their partner’ while the kids are milling around doing their thing? It is much easier for family life if children learn that not everything revolves around them and they can amuse themselves. You don’t have to send them up to bed because you’re fed up with them! They learn resilience and fitting in with adult life. They also learn to be good company and can roll with the punches on holidays or Christmas/NYE.

My DD always slept early by her choice - 7.00.-ish. We always got a grown-up evening - so civilised. She woke at about 6.00.a.m but then so did I - never a sleeper-inner.

How would you do that with a two year old @Screamingabdabz? Genuinely curious as I'd love to pull that off. My youngest is naturally exuberant and I'd really like her to be better in social gatherings like some other kids her age are. How can I read a book without reverting to silencing her with tv when she wants to play?