Are UK parents obsessed with getting their kids to bed early?

[RosieLeaLovesTea]

Am I the only one that thinks UK parents are obsessed with getting their kids to bed early? I see posts of 7pm/7.30pm, some as early as 6pm.

I work full time and don’t get home until 6.30pm. We don’t eat until 7pm. So generally 9pm is bedtime. Plus it means that if we do go out at weekends our kids are used to going to bed a bit later.

That’s what we do. We often have a glass of wine and a chat or read a book while the kids are reading or playing or watching a cartoon. Sometimes we leave them to it in the kitchen and we go and sit in the living room. I don’t really understand why some parents need their kids in bed so they can relax? I can only assume that their kids are really naughty and need constant supervision?

Well younger kids don't really 'mill about', do they? Past a certain point sure, although even then I think you couldn't really settle down to watch certain things when kids might appear at any moment, plus mentally you don't really shut off either.

Our two manage late nights fine, we were at a wedding recently till gone 10pm and it was me and DH who were the knackered ones, but what's the point of keeping them up on a normal day when they're ready to go to sleep at 7? I genuinely don't understand why people find it some sort of moral superiority either way, it's really weird. It's just a time on the clock.

A 7pm bedtime works perfectly for my 6 month old as he needs to be up for a certain time for nursery and it means he is getting the sleep he requires but I can see it changing closer to 8pm once he's in school and interested in after school activities.

I'd also consider a later bedtime if he woke up at 4-5am but he always sleeps through until 7 so it's right for him at the moment.

I am reading this in bed while I hear my DH telling DD a bedtime story. She is still in nursery and it’s 23:30…

I understand that if you've been at work all day then you might want that time to reconnect with your kids and that will push bedtime later. But everyone works full time, daytime hours, out of the house, whatever. Some people have been doing all this lovely stuff that people do at 8pm or whatever with their kids during the day already!

That should be *not everyone

When younger they used to want to be asleep somewhat earlier. My middle child would practically march himself to bed between 18:30 and 19:30 until he was about 8, he physically couldn’t cope with any less sleep and liked his little routine. Now the ones still at home are 11+ they pretty much sleep when they want, though I do tend to boot them to their rooms from 10pm, purely because that’s when I retreat to my own! As long as everyone is up in time I don’t care if they read/chat.

I work with children. I can tell the children who go to bed late regardless of all these comments about how little sleep their children need. Young children need more sleep than most parents seem to realise.

My DSs have never been early to bed. Nor do they get up early. It was gone 10:30 when the youngest got up today. I prefer it as there is so much more flexibility than having to leave places early or not do things such as cubs because it finishes "late". Plus I'm not a morning person. There is only one 6 o'clock in my day and it does not have am next to it! 7 and 8 are grudgingly acknowledged on week days due to school and work.

Agree. Sleep is very important developmentally for young children. Even as adults most of us don't get enough of it.

Tell me you don’t have multiple children close in age without actually telling me.

@Bharath you sound gleefully judgemental to the point of deranged. Are you my sister in law?

My kids, 8 & 10, go to bed anywhere from about 8pm-10pm depending on the day.

Ideally they go up at 8pm and read for an hour (or chat/ play whatever) and lights out at 9. Nothing wrong with having downtime in their rooms, it's hardly child neglect 🙄And no, I don't feel guilty for wanting an hour or two to myself to watch adult TV.

They also have no issues staying up later on special occasions.

You teach her about quiet time. Past a certain time in the evening the interaction and play stops. It’s quiet cuddle time in a darker room and then bed. If she’s not tired she can stay with parents but she still has to be quiet and calm.

Absolutely.

I'd love to keep my baby up later to spend more time with him after work but that would be what I would call selfish because he's tired and ready for bed by 7.

I had 3 - all within 5 years.

One of mine is miserable come 6.30pm so bed 6.30 at times then Wakes 7 30am perfect for nursery.
Sometimes they last till 730/8pm but the next day they're grumpy at tea time.

Middle one is 8.30pm till 7 30am. They would stay up later but would be a battle for over half hour to get up to get ready for school

It works for us as they can't lay in 7 30 is latest they can get up for 8.30am leave.

Weekends can vary but inevitably if they have late nights they are grumpy by Sunday and ruins our day out

I don't get this - might as well say that people in Spain are "obsessed" with getting to sleep late. It just is a matter of priorities. The age of the child matters, too. I like getting up early and spending time with my child, and I also work in the evenings, so a 7 pm bedtime works (DC is 3 years old). I expect this will be his bedtime for some years yet. I'm not obsessed, it's just what works for me.

Im in Portugal and its similar.
All my UK friends with kids would put them to bed at liek 7pm and then complain about the 5am wake ups and I was like... er.. your doing, mate!

I remember years ago, my niece was 4 or 5. We went to the cinema at 5, dinner with the rest of the family at 8.30, she probably didnt get to bed until midnight.

I was texting someone I was seeing at the time (in the UK) and he was horified that wed gone to the cinema so late and that she hadnt gone straight to bed afterwards!

It's just the time-scale and lifestyle of the country you're in. India is similar. Although alot of the kids there are up at 6.00am for school, and then don't go to bed until late still studying. Personally I'm naturally a night owl and struggle with the 'Western' time zone. I'd rather get up late and go to bed late. I'm assuming it's based around daylight hours and the weather. I remember being on holiday somewhere neat the equator, everything was dark and shut by 5pm, it was weird, we got used to having our dinner about 5 and then going to bed early, there though the music was blasting on the beach at about 6am!!!

Yeah it's a British thing! Hence the way these British kids wake up at about 6am. It always makes me laugh because it's as if the British kids were physiologically different from the European ones who go to bed at least an hour later.
Our kids were about 8pm-8.30pm. now more like 9pm (end of primary).

Important thing for us was to eat together (we are both in professional jobs which meant we leave work at 5.30pm. and then factor in the commute, (we are in London), so dinner never before 7pm, realistically. So by the time we had eaten, brushed teeth, bit of reading, bit of talking (all the best talks are in the evening when they are in bed of course), it was easily 8pm if not later.
But for me, those things are/were the most valuable!

I’m not sure parents get that much of a choice over sleep time. Dd (3) often can’t fall asleep until 8:30/9 and wakes up between 6-6:30. Some kids really do need 12 hours (lucky parents) and need to be up early, some kids don’t need that much, It is silly though to out your child to bed very early and expect them to sleep in late if they don’t need it. Tbh it was easier when she was in bed earlier, we could get housework done and actually speak to each other/read/ watch tv before bed.

I couldn’t actually put DD to bed any earlier (DH spends half an hour in DD’s room every night to get her to stop fidgeting so she can fall asleep as it is)

I agree with this. My first child's bedtime was quite badly disrupted by the arrival of DC2, who was fussy and colicky for the first few months and it was just me to look after them both. Luckily, DC1 is fairly stoic, for want of a better word, but it did upset me to see DC1 looking pale and wan with shadows under their eyes in the morning. And the teacher noticed it as well and commented on it. To be fair, it was fairly hard to miss as DC1 was nodding off during carpet time.

I can't believe how many on MN say their 11-13 year olds are in bed by 8-9pm. In our area stuff doesn't finish until 9 and all kids are nearer 11pm or later

But surely what happens in other countries is pretty irrelevant as other countries often have different working cultures, schooling patterns, weather, etc?

But again no one has provided any kind of argument as to why it's morally superior in any way to put your kid to bed at 7 v 10pm. Anyone want to take a punt?