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Original poster

Would you stick to having one child if it meant more holidays?

125 replies

doorlily · 17/06/2023 17:16

Just that, really. Would you place value on holidays, experiences and having more funds to do fun things / drop your hours at work and achieve a better work life balance? Or do you think a sibling outweighs all of that kind of stuff. I know there’s no right or wrong answer just wondering what other people chose to value more?

OP posts:
dinosaursroar1 · 17/06/2023 18:21

Yes. It’s part of the reason we only had one child - more so the ease for travel and experiences. DD has and will have opportunities that wouldn’t be an option if they had to be funded for multiple children.

I was an only child and never felt like I missed out by not having someone close in age living with me and as an adult I can massively see the difference between the advantages I’ve benefited from compared to friends with one or more siblings - if I had had a sibling my parents time, energy, resources and money would have been split two or more ways. I have undoubtedly benefited in a lot of ways that just haven’t been feasible for friends families because it would have been impossible for them to provide that for more than one child.

I’m sure for some people having a sibling is amazing but I know enough people who aren’t close to their siblings or actively dislike them to be very happy with my parents choice and our choice to only have one child.

sqirrelfriends · 17/06/2023 18:21

I wanted two, always did until a horrendous pregnancy and birth (not even that bad in the grand scheme of things), I made up my mind when house prices started going through the roof and I decided I needed to do everything I could for the one I had to provide a nice life.

Superdupes · 17/06/2023 18:27

Not for more holidays alone - but I've found so many benefits to having only one child - and that one is a bonus.

Applecoresweet · 17/06/2023 18:34

Holidays or a child?

The answer sounds so obvious to me. There can be no comparison. Holidays are so worthless compared to the value of a child. That wouldn't even be a concern for me.

Another child or enough money for any type of entertainment and fun for the existing child would need consideration but fancy holidays aren't important to a child. I'd give them a sibling and camping holidays over a childhood as an only child and holidays in the Caribbean.

Lefteyetwitch · 17/06/2023 18:36

Applecoresweet · 17/06/2023 18:34

Holidays or a child?

The answer sounds so obvious to me. There can be no comparison. Holidays are so worthless compared to the value of a child. That wouldn't even be a concern for me.

Another child or enough money for any type of entertainment and fun for the existing child would need consideration but fancy holidays aren't important to a child. I'd give them a sibling and camping holidays over a childhood as an only child and holidays in the Caribbean.

You do know some siblings hate each othe?
Also travelling and holidays can be the best part of some people's lives.

FourTeaFallOut · 17/06/2023 18:39

I wouldn't be giving up any of my siblings for a boatload of holidays and a pony but people have different priorities.

FishIsForCatsNotDogs · 17/06/2023 18:41

I had 1 child because I didn't want another. Nothing to do with holidays or anything else I just never wanted more than 1.

BelindaBears · 17/06/2023 18:43

Wouldn’t hang the entire decision on that but it’s something to factor in. I don’t think “having siblings” should be the deciding factor either mind, it should always be based on whether both parents themselves want another child, for themselves.

BelindaBears · 17/06/2023 18:43

FourTeaFallOut · 17/06/2023 18:39

I wouldn't be giving up any of my siblings for a boatload of holidays and a pony but people have different priorities.

Yeah I’d swap all 3 of mine for a horse tbh.

glittereyelash · 17/06/2023 18:45

I love just having one child but that was always our plan. My son loves being an only child at the moment and we have a lovely home life. I wouldn't like to change the dynamic as its perfect for us.

getyourfucksinarow · 17/06/2023 18:45

Absolutely not. You can have plenty of experiences with your children which don't have to involve huge expense. Plus they have someone to share their experiences with. My DC are now adults and love the "do you remember...?" conversations about their shared childhood.

cunningartificer · 17/06/2023 18:46

The support my children get from their siblings is worth a lot more than more exotic holidays when they were little. In fact they talk about our (very modest) holidays as though they were the best ever because of the memories of good times together... now they're grown up I'm so glad they have each other for when we won't be around.

MyTruthIsOut · 17/06/2023 18:49

Lefteyetwitch · 17/06/2023 18:36

You do know some siblings hate each othe?
Also travelling and holidays can be the best part of some people's lives.

Show quote history

Yes….the lives of adults.

I doubt many 5 year olds would claim that holidays and travelling are the best times of their life…

If my parents said to me: “Do you remember when you were 8 and we took you to ‘x’ and we all did ‘y’…?”

Im pretty confident I wouldn’t know what they were talking about.

On the other hand, I can spend hours and hours reminiscing with my sister about our childhood and all the fun things we did together.

We didn’t have expensive holidays when we were little because the finances simply weren’t there, but I would never have swapped my sister for the chance to go to Disney World.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/06/2023 18:53

I doubt many 5 year olds would claim that holidays and travelling are the best times of their life…

My DD 12 just told me that one of the days we had on holiday was the best day of her life.

And my brother and I don't reminisce because he used to beat me up and I used to avoid him. Not all siblings are even passably OK. Twats have sisters too.

MyTruthIsOut · 17/06/2023 18:54

getyourfucksinarow · 17/06/2023 18:45

Absolutely not. You can have plenty of experiences with your children which don't have to involve huge expense. Plus they have someone to share their experiences with. My DC are now adults and love the "do you remember...?" conversations about their shared childhood.

Absolutely!!!

Me and my sister love having evenings where we go “Do you remember when we did this…….”

I was really lucky as my sister was only 1 year and 3 weeks older than me so we grew up together in every way possible. My entire childhood is wrapped up in her and we have so many amazing memories of what we used to get up to together. Every one used to joke that to the two of us had our own little world and when we laugh about all the mischief we got up to, it’s like being transported right back to our childhood.

I have two children and although the age gap is bigger they adore each other and they just can’t be separated. They also seem to have their own little shared world and me and DH just watch from the sidelines 😂

RumandSpinach · 17/06/2023 18:56

Currently wrestling with this. So far we've had the decision made for us after DS with 3 miscarriages, we were going to try again treatment but I'm wavering.

Are holidays that much more expensive with 2? The big cost increase would be airfare and meals?

Whitewolf2 · 17/06/2023 18:58

No, I was an only child and while at the time didn’t feel I was missing out I do look back and think how I would have loved a sibling, and also I would now to share things with. So we had 2 dc and they love playing together, more so than holidays.

MyTruthIsOut · 17/06/2023 18:59

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/06/2023 18:53

I doubt many 5 year olds would claim that holidays and travelling are the best times of their life…

My DD 12 just told me that one of the days we had on holiday was the best day of her life.

And my brother and I don't reminisce because he used to beat me up and I used to avoid him. Not all siblings are even passably OK. Twats have sisters too.

And that’s why everyone’s response will be based on their own experiences of their own childhood.

The holidays are just a red herring in this thread…..it’s really about the positives and/or negatives of having an only child or not.

And like I said, people will respond based on their own experiences.

My DH has a brother and they have no relationship at all. He hated his brother when they were growing (my DH is the oldest) and he can’t stand him now either. Because of this my husband was quite happy to stop at just one child because he saw no benefits to having more than one child and providing a sibling because he’d never experienced any benefits of having a sibling himself.

LittleMonks11 · 17/06/2023 19:00

I am so sad sometimes we weren't able to give our DD a sibling or two. She hates being an only child - and would have adored being a big sister. She would have been great too. I would give anything to have had more but it wasnt to be. Can't believe you're tossing up kid vs holidays.

LittleMonks11 · 17/06/2023 19:03

I retract my last sentence as it sounds judgemental. Sorry.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/06/2023 19:04

LittleMonks11 · 17/06/2023 19:03

I retract my last sentence as it sounds judgemental. Sorry.

Thanks @LittleMonks11

I sat on my hands and I'm glad I did.

Sorry you aren't having the experience you wanted.

hollyblueivy · 17/06/2023 19:05

Yes

ksjsb · 17/06/2023 19:05

It was a big factor in our decision to stop at 2 (especially when considering the complexities of holidaying etc as a 5 as opposed to a 4, plus the cost). The benefits outweigh an additional sibling for us, but not the first sibling, we knew we wanted 2.

thecatsthecats · 17/06/2023 19:06

mintbiscuit · 17/06/2023 17:48

I went on a caravan holiday every year as a child. Never abroad. I have a big brother I would never swap for all the holidays in the world. Family was really important growing up.

I like to think my 3 DC will say the same when they are older.

I would trade my eldest brother and sister for cash or goods. Pretty sure it's mutual, without any hard feelings.

My other sister can stay.

Emmamoo89 · 17/06/2023 19:06

Inkypot · 17/06/2023 17:42

Absolutely not. What a weird thing to place the decision of having a child on.
There will always be time to make more money to have a holiday, there is not always more time to have a child.
And no doubt MN will have a bunch of CFBC folk coming at me on that but it's true- a child is infinitely more valuable than any holiday ever could be.

I agree with this x