Would you stick to having one child if it meant more holidays?

[doorlily]

Just that, really. Would you place value on holidays, experiences and having more funds to do fun things / drop your hours at work and achieve a better work life balance? Or do you think a sibling outweighs all of that kind of stuff. I know there’s no right or wrong answer just wondering what other people chose to value more?

No I wouldn’t.

Having two children who can play together/entertain each other on a day-to-day basis is worth way more than some extra holidays.

Plus I don’t think holidays are that much more expensive with a second child (most hotel rooms & holiday deals are set up for two children anyway).

Plus the second child isn’t that expensive if you pass on cot, buggy, carseats, clothes toys etc.

Second child is worth it for being able to have a coffee in bed in the morning while they play together in their bedroom tbh.

Hmmm it’s a tough one. I have two and def couldn’t afford big holidays when they were small, but doubt I could have afforded them with one tbh. Though my friend with an only and similar finances did mange more holidays abroad when her ds was small.

having two of them made cheaper holidays more fun as they had each other for company.

I have loads of siblings. There’s no way I’d want that many kids, and as a child I thought there were too many of us, but as an adult I wouldn't want to be without any of them and really love having lots of siblings. We are a proper gang and I think the world could be a lonely place as an only adult child. But then some siblings don’t get on, so it not a given.

basically all you can do is what you think is best for your family at the time.

@MrsTerryPratchett 😀I always wanted a brother. Can I beat you down to a weekend in Swindon?

I am, every day, glad I have both of my children. I'm aware DC2 has had an impact on finances, and DC1 has a friend who is an only child and the life that family have is a bit of an insight into what might be possible for us if I'd stopped at one (money, freedom, adult/older child centred adventures). It looks lovely, but I wouldn't swap.

Everything is relative, though. We do have days out and occasional biggish holidays. I prob wouldn't swap those things entirely for a sibling, but I was happy to tip the balance in that direction.

Are drinks included? What's the food package?

Why can't you have another child and the holidays you want?

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No I wanted to have 2 and I wanted DC1 to have a sibling. As I was abivalent about the third, finances were indeed part of the discussion there and if we want to make adjustments to out current lifestyle.

Having agreed i think the second child is the better deal, I still don't quite agree with this assessment. DC2 was expensive because she was another set of childcare costs, another set of school dinners and swimming lessons to pay, another mouth to feed. Being able to hand down furniture and clothes hasn't hugely offset that tbh.

No, we have four, we have got a big gap between two and three then four though so done holidays with two, they have got older and done holidays with the younger ones so it's worked out. I came from a big family and always felt the gap in mine. They will always have each other like I have my siblings even though our parents have gone

One child, no

Two children, yes! I'd love a third, but realistically we can have a higher quality of life if we stick with two. We can still afford abroad holidays and a third would probably put a stop to that. I would rather live comfortably with two than penny pinch with three.

No, my two boys (adults now) are so close, best friends as well as brothers, I am so pleased that they have each other when we are no longer around to support them.

It’s not the only consideration but it is part of the thought process for us probably staying at 1. I wouldn’t say it’s just holidays from the expense side, it’s the cost of childcare - £12K a year - and the realisation that is probably better in our pension, going to our mortgage and experiences with DD. It’s also the cost of a house deposit and uni if that’s what she wants to do. DH and his brother don’t get on and the argument of sharing care doesn’t work for me because I’ve never seen care of elderly parents be shared between siblings.

Well many people couldn't afford to fully find their single child at Uni abroad so should they leave having a family to people like yourself? The definition of affording is individual

I think a sibling outweighs most things but at the same time so think kids really value holidays/days out etc but doesn’t make a huge difference if they’re expensive or not. The difference between a cheaper and more upmarket holiday is more for our benefit than the kids. I think one child ends up with more chilled holidays and life for the parents but for the child, 4 nights in a tent by a North Sea beach and having a sibling is preferable. Obviously not for high maintenance kids already used to action packed luxurious foreign holidays

🤣🤣🤣

I sense you will settle for a can of coke and a packet of Cheesy Wotsits!

SOLD.

I'll schedule it later. He's on his way, he'll expect dinner. Don't expect a hostess gift or for him or offer to wash up.

I haven't felt the need to have a second child, but having more money is a major perk. We wouldn't be able to do nearly as many holidays or travelling if we had more to pay for. If I really wanted another child, I'm sure I wouldn't care about those things, but it's definitely something I've mentioned being a bonus before

We did

Agree, as someone who never really got on with siblings, its not something I felt was important for my child

Me too!

No but I come from a big family so some of my best holiday memories are with siblings, cousins, extended family. I do look forward to the odd quiet break again when my kids are older, maybe a fancier destination than we can afford now, it was more the cost of big things like Uni or smaller, regular things like three sets of music lessons that we discussed before having our third.

When I look at my two children together, who adore each other, I know that having more than one child was 100% absolutely worth the sacrifice.

Medical issues / pregnancy trauma aside, which is also a reason we chose not to have a second, one child = comfortable life, holidays, not having to worry massively, not too much focus on work, hopefully comfortable retirement, stress free parents, having something to leave behind for DS. Second child would put a lot more pressure on and mean we’d have to work harder and longer, so yes it played a part in our decision making.

Well 4 of ours are grown up and all work, 3 alongside college and uni, all passed tests and bought own cars by 17/18, one even bought own house before 21 (self funded)
I’ve quite a few friends who only had one child and their families are lovely too