Why do so many UK women post like this?

[user1477391263]

I'm British but a permanent resident of another country, which I moved to 25 years ago before social media was really a thing; my social media has people from all over the world, but the majority are not British.

I've come to realize that Facebook groups (etc.) that have British posters, such as local FB groups from my hometown, sound really different in the way people (or women, anyway) post!

There's a certain style, and it's very noticeable. It consists of using no punctuation apart from commas, no capitals, and putting kisses (x, or xx, or even xxx..... etc.) on the end of almost every post - sometimes on the end of every sentence. I rarely see this in women of other nationalities, even those who are not native speakers of English. Not every UK woman posts like this, for sure, but a lot of them do!

When did this become a thing? The oddest thing is that most of the women I know who post like this are perfectly intelligent people! I've had to sort of consciously train myself to (when reading a UK woman's online writing) mentally separate the posting style and the woman's assumed level of intelligence/education, because I know from experience that even well-read women with a lot of education quite often post like this.

I know it doesn't really...."matter," but I'm just a bit puzzled about when and why this became such a trend and why it seems to be so UK-specific. Is it about appearing friendly?

I don’t see it on FB or MN very much but I do see it on Nextdoor, where posts are often so badly written as to be just garbled nonsense. I also notice some people like to use lol at the end of almost every sentence. Bizarre!

The posts I tend to see are:
Lots of inspirational and often wrongly attributed quotes.
I'm not taking anymore shit/ can't trust snakes kind of posts
People offering opinions on 1000 immigrants coming to live at the bus stop/ big dog shitting on the pavement/kids ragging round on scooters; phrasing it as an opinion, then adding a timid little 'just my opinion, tho x' at the end. Presumably in the hope of warding off an unwelcome response.

Meh...I definitely use a very informal, chatty style in my what's app msgs, often punctuated with lots of dots between clauses - I feel messaging apps imply a certain conversational tone and the dots indicate my thought process as I type ...I am, however, educated to degree level, hold professional qualifications and am more than capable of stringing a bunch of words together to form cohesive and intelligent sentences should the need arise. If you wish to judge me, I'm fine with that. I'm more inclined to think you should be judging all those that are incapable to altering their style of writing to suit their given medium. And yes, I am also a grammar snob inspite of my ability to write disjointed what's app msgs and reply on FB posts with limited capital letters. I'm not in the hun brigade but if I knew you, I'd be signing this off with an x

I would say though that proof reading is not my strong point 😜

Maybe it is like the non British English use of 'for sure' which now litters British writing and is used conversationally by so many Brits.

It’s because they think it makes them sound more likeable

U didnt spell iv rite 😉

I think there is a ‘style’ in other countries too. In the area I live in Spain on local Spanish FB groups there are many posts with no punctuation apart from ……..…, which they love to use randomly for some reason, filled with emojis and spelling mistakes.

I’ve seen what you’re referring to a lot on the British FB groups here, along with “your” being used instead of “you’re” and not knowing when to use “their”, “they’re” and “there”.

Another one here who thinks it must just be your friends, as I've never noticed this.

There is one wife of a friend I have on there though Who Capitalises The First Letter Of Every Word She Writes And I Find That Most Bizarre Because It Must Be A Pain In The Arse To Type And It Makes Every Thing She Says Sound Really Authoritative Which Is Really Weird When She's Talking About Fluffykins The New Kitten.

The poster was referring to your missing punctuation, I think. How can they be rude pulling you up on this when you are posting about other people's lack of correct punctuation and grammar?

The poster was referring to your missing punctuation, I think. How can they be rude pulling you up on this when you are posting about other people's lack of correct punctuation and grammar?

I didn't though? I just posted that this wasn't the case in the expat group I participate in and thought it was maybe due to people being mostly bilingual at least.
Given how critically others have posted on this thread, I have no idea why I am now being targeted by a third poster.
Also, I did English as a second language at school, so apologies for my own imperfect punctuation.

You said I'm really glad the expat group I'm on has a good standard of grammar, that's not just commenting that the group had a good standard of grammar, that's saying you think it's preferable, hence the use of "I'm glad". I wasn't knocking your punctuation, but I don't think the other poster was rude, it was a fair point when you said what you did. Most European languages use commas in the same way, so unless you come from a country where they don't, it wouldn't have any bearing on whether English was your mother tongue or a second language.

@LaDamaDeElche you're right, that was a deeply unpleasant thing of me to say, truly awful, and I absolutely deserved both an initial shitty dig and the other posters joining in. I was especially glad to have it all happen on a day when I was posting on a thread I found interesting to distract myself from something very sad that had just happened.
I'm even more delighted that you're following up two days later just to make sure I have really got the message.

I love emojis ❤️I think I’ve forgotten how to communicate properly without them. The sentences seem somehow naked if I can’t include at least my facial expressions 😮😁
Never xxx though, that’s just hun.

Why is there no emoji for naked??

You are taking things quite personally. You didn't say anything terrible and nobody has said anything terrible to you. I'm sorry you were having a bad day, but I don't think anyone has been rude or warranted the reactions you've given. Regarding the time you posted, people read threads at different times, so it's not like people are trying to hound you over days.

Perhaps MN isn't the place for you, as there are some truly awful people on here who take joy in tearing people down, and if you feel like this over a poster making a slightly sarcastic comment about your punctuation on a thread about grammar and punctuation, you are going to be destroyed if you have the misfortune to come across one of those types of people.

Perhaps MN isn't the place for you, as there are some truly awful people on here who take joy in tearing people down, and if you feel like this over a poster making a slightly sarcastic comment about your punctuation on a thread about grammar and punctuation, you are going to be destroyed if you have the misfortune to come across one of those types of people.

I'm anything but oversensitive in general but my aunt has just passed away. Thanks for ruining my harmless distraction.

I might just about accept that poor spelling and punctuation are caused by dyslexia (though I think they are more often the result of crap teaching), but I absolutely do no accept that putting xxx at the end of a message is anything other than uneducated.

Your punctuation is a whole lot better than that of many native speakers.

Your punctuation is a whole lot better than that of many native speakers.

Thanks you, that's kind of you. Full disclosure though I was raised bilingual, I just happened to attend school in the other language due to proximity.

No one knew that, you're anonymous person posting on an anonymous forum, so that's actually really unfair to put that on me. I'm sorry to hear about your aunt, but you also have no idea what's going on in anyone else's life here, so please stop with these kind of responses. No one is doing anything malicious or trying to ruin anything for you or hurt your feelings and I appreciate that you're having a bad time, but don't lash out at strangers online who literally haven't done anything wrong.

don't lash out at strangers online who literally haven't done anything wrong

I haven't lashed out at anyone. Someone chose to make an unneccessarily snarky dig at my grammar in response to my pretty anodyne post, and then several of you have kept going despite me repeatedly saying I was using this thread as a bit of a distraction from a bereavement. I mean you're still going.
Maybe MN is in fact not for you then if my responses are what you consider "lashing out"?

You are trying to paint yourself as a victim and others as some kind of bullies, and no, il not going to accept that and say nothing, as it isn't true. Your reactions are to do with what's going on in your life and they aren't proportionate and yes you are lashing out accusing people of ruining things for you etc, when none of us know each other and nothing personal is involved at all. Im actually waiting for the results of some tests at the moment and am in the midst of a big health square. Im not taking that out on people on anonymous forums who disagree with me or say something that I don't like. We all have our issues, we don't have to take those issues out on people for no reason.

*health scare

I also have two 'native' languages, and I think it makes you a bit more aware of the importance of grammar and punctuation, even if you're not aware of it at the time!