Why do so many UK women post like this?

[user1477391263]

I'm British but a permanent resident of another country, which I moved to 25 years ago before social media was really a thing; my social media has people from all over the world, but the majority are not British.

I've come to realize that Facebook groups (etc.) that have British posters, such as local FB groups from my hometown, sound really different in the way people (or women, anyway) post!

There's a certain style, and it's very noticeable. It consists of using no punctuation apart from commas, no capitals, and putting kisses (x, or xx, or even xxx..... etc.) on the end of almost every post - sometimes on the end of every sentence. I rarely see this in women of other nationalities, even those who are not native speakers of English. Not every UK woman posts like this, for sure, but a lot of them do!

When did this become a thing? The oddest thing is that most of the women I know who post like this are perfectly intelligent people! I've had to sort of consciously train myself to (when reading a UK woman's online writing) mentally separate the posting style and the woman's assumed level of intelligence/education, because I know from experience that even well-read women with a lot of education quite often post like this.

I know it doesn't really...."matter," but I'm just a bit puzzled about when and why this became such a trend and why it seems to be so UK-specific. Is it about appearing friendly?

The kisses are probably a British thing but the style and grammar is absolutely univeral.

I also don't think yuu can extrapolate lack of intelligence, or understanding of grammar from social media posts. Most people simply don't give a shit about being a grammar wanker and think they are posting for normal people to read. Rather than being judged in their style and grammar.

How I write here and online is obvs nothing like a write at work. I imagine this is the same for most. Honestly it sounds like you just want to be judgemental.

I don't think it's a UK thing.

I have lots of Facebook friends in a particular country (I used to be married to someone from that country and have a big network there) and their use of social media is very casual, informal, peppered with emojis, spelling mistakes etc. Probably worse than if not equal to British SM.

It's like anything - you go away from a place for a while, come back and suddenly everyone's posing in a certain way, or using some specific turn of phrase, and you're baffled by it and don't understand why they're doing it, and they're just as baffled because that's how everyone does it now.

Except it's not lacking in confidence as such, it's living in/coming from a rough AF area where people take offence and get aggressive if they think you looked at them the wrong way. You learn to be extra nice and make it clear you're being friendly, or else! On SM you don't know who you're dealing with so if that's your background, that's often your default method of communication. Being straight forward is often seen as being rude by touchy people. Even putting a full stop at the end of sentences can be seen as being harsh, hence people punctuating the end of their sentences with a kiss "x" to show friendliness. It's not necessarily related to the intelligence of the poster but can relate to the intelligence and general touchiness of those around them/in the FB group or whatever. Even in business communication, how many small businesses are run by one or two people who sometimes have an attitude problem? It's not uncommon.

The lack of other punctuation is mostly laziness when typing on a phone and being busy/distracted which everyone is now. Same with the spelling and grammar, it's easier to let autocorrect do it's thing than to insist on it typing the right word.

It's like texting your mates. But online, to strangers. Mumsnet seems quite formal and serious by comparison to the posts on my other social media platforms

Generalisation is saying they all do it - read the OP again.
'Not every UK woman posts like this, for sure, but a lot of them do!'

The channels of communication have changed over time and will continue to do so. The style is a further reflection of the channel. Most people are able to adjust their style by channel.

Anyone who thinks how someone else posts on social media is an indicator of intelligence (relating to grammar and punctuation) seemingly hasn’t yet worked out the above.

I have a friend whose messages are like this. She uses speech to text on her phone - maybe that's why?

Do expats not use commas then?

That was rude of you.

It was.
I'm always rude on these threads when people are being smug about other people's English.
Especially when Muphry steps in.

@NowZeusHasLainWithLeda I was talking about the other people in the group. They're older than me which is probably why their SPAG is so good. They also in general speak more languages than me.
And by rude I meant bitchy.

putting a full stop at the end of sentences can be seen as being harsh

Could someone please explain this to me? I just don't get it at all. I could no more type a full sentence and not put a full stop or other appropriate punctuation mark at the end of it than I could fly in the air. It's the equivalent in writing of pausing for breath between sentences. It shows that that utterance is over and either another one is on the way, or it's time for someone else to speak. I can understand people missing things out for the sake of brevity, but how in the name of the wee man does it make people feel they look 'harsh' to use full stops?

Yes, this is my experience as well.

In addition to the grammatical things which are down to poor education, there is also a lot of "trends" that they obviously just see and repeat, and yes, a lot of it does seem geared towards appearing friendly, often verging on apologetic.

"Please delete if not allowed my little boy does xyz does anybody know why he does xyz if anybody knows any advice please let me know xxxx pic so we don't get lost xxx"

I never really know why these people think posts are allowed or what the "pic for attention" means, but it's obviously just a sort of herd mentality thing.

One of my friend's sisters has deliberately started speaking with a Thames Estuary accent, despite living elsewhere, and saying things like "u ok hun xxx" or "I done this" or "your doing amazing darlin." She does it to "fit in."

Passing the burden of mentally inserting the grammar required so your post can be read correctly onto the reader!

Why is the reader's time less valuable than the writer's?

It was justified.

It was justified

Christ, remind me not to make another relatively benign comment on a thread to try and distract myself from a bereavement.

I'd rather the xx than a 😂 when the message isn't even that funny.

This article is nonsense. Watt us wrong in just telling your child he's being daft - it's just correct punctuation. Honestly, it's not like this is the first generation of teens to think the world revolves around them and it won't be the last. The difference is that we keep being told to pander to them by crap journalists who have a copy capacity to fill.

[High fives @DeadbeatYoda]

I'm not from the UK and this is 100% a UK thing. I've never encountered it with people from other countries. I find the "xx" after each message really off-putting and pointless. It's always women too.

I see it in text messages from female family members (not university educated ones, for what it's worth) and in Facebook groups with lots of "hun" types. Yes, I'm a snob.

If this wasn't written about British people it would be bordering on racist. Bit pathetic really.

Just to clarify my earlier post, lazy grammar is universal online and in text, but the "xx" at the end of sentences is very much a UK thing.

I mean a lot of things would be racist if they were said about a specific race...but this isn't, so I'm not sure you've made much of a point.