Elderly neighbour acting odd, knocking on doors in nightclothes

[Eggyhair]

A neighbour from a few houses away, has always been nosey and a bit of a gossip.

When DD was at primary, we walked past their house twice a day and they (her and her husband), would always stop to talk to us. She also spoke to my parents a lot, before dad died.

A few weeks ago, DD & I were waiting for a friend to pick us up and she came out. She said she was being nosey and asked who we were and how long we'd been here. I told her I'd been here for 14 years and DD all her life and said she should probably didn't recognise DD as she'd grown (she's 12 and doesn't look that different, but was being charitable, not sure why she didn't remember me).

I had a supermarket delivery and the driver said she was asking him for forms to get deliveries. He told her she'd need to do it online, but she said she doesn't have the internet and wanted to do it by forms. She then kept walking up and down, till he went. Same with my next delivery.

This afternoon (4pm), she knocked on my door, wearing a nightie, dressing gown and slippers. She asked for a male name I'd never heard of and know no one who lives on our road has. She then asked who I was and where I came from. I said I came from my house (as I was a bit confused by what she meant). She said not to mind her, that she was drunk! She then asked about a funeral, confirmed I wasn't the male she was seeking and went. I asked if she was OK, she said she was, but I watched her home.

I'm guessing social services would be the best bet? It would be very difficult to talk to her husband (who I rarely see, as he had a femur operation recently).

Not sure what else to do. I'm assuming dementia, unless she is alcoholic, which doesn't seem likely (and she didn't appear drunk at all, just confused).

You say she spoke to your parents a lot, does your Mum know the details of any children or other relatives? If not a call to Social Services would be a good idea.

Do you know if she has any family? Adult Social Services does sound like the right call, but depending on your area it might take them a little while to do anything. But if her or her husband are already receiving any care then they will be able to contact the right agencies to investigate things further.

Oh meant to say it could be dementia but also could be a UTI they do tend to send the elderly a bit haywire. Are you sure the husband is ok? Have you seen him since his operation?

Social services if you don’t know any friends/family. Police if you’re ever concerned for her safety, or yours.

Sounds a lot like my poor, late DMIL when she had dementia.😓

Yes, social services, or police if things look worrying.

Poor lady, she sounds very unwell. I think a call to adult social services when they open in the morning would be the right thing to do.

This sounds very like a neighbour of ours who has dementia. This was how it started. It might be that something else is making her confused (missed medication, medication not suiting her, infection etc) but, if you haven't seen her husband to mention it to him, you might need to contact adult services.
Our neighbour is now in a care home and absolutely loves it, but things got really bad with her constantly knocking on doors and wandering into people's gardens. She was calling the police repeatedly to say people were being burgled when it was actually her neighbours in their own homes. It's terrifying to think that could be any of us one day 😔

Unless you have direct contact details for any of her family, I’d give adult social services a call tomorrow and outline what’s happened and your concerns.

I don't know of any family, never seen anybody visit them in all the time I've lived here.

@Hellocatshome She never mentioned any family to them when they talked. She saw mum yesterday when mum came to me, mum said she was asking her if a tree in her garden was dead. Mum was surprised she didn't recognise her (and mum certainly hasn't changed in appearance).

I've seen her husband and mum said he came outside yesterday. He seems normal and recognises us, he's just not very mobile and I think trying to talk to him privately would be impossible as it's clear from what mum said, that she goes out to speak to anyone she sees outside.

I will give social services a call in the morning. Thank you all.

please Contact someone asap. If you don’t know any of her family then contact police, they will help her. Have you been to her house at all? Or spoken to other neighbours? It could be dementia or a simple uti (they can cause confusion) but either way she needs urgent help if she’s wandering around confused. Also she may not have eaten if she was asking about food delivery!

What is it you actually want social services to do though?

She lives with her husband - it's sounds like she is quite confused now but other than going around being a bit odd and confused you have no reason to believe she is otherwise at risk or that her husband isn't already seeking help for her via her GP.

Social services in those circumstances where you aren't identifying anything other than a bit of confusion, and the person has someone keeping an eye on them at home aren't going to do a huge amount unless you have consent from her/her husband to make a referral.

She lives with her husband?

Just seen your latest post. Didn’t realise that she had a husband I assumed that she was alone. You’re a nice neighbour to try to help. 💐

Contact adult social services and raise it as a safeguarding situation. Then you need to leave it to them. It's a sad situation but too common.

If you see her in a dangerous situation call 999

Sorry @hatgirl when you said that you didn’t know any family I assumed that she was alone. I would class husband as family, so that was why I was worried. Not so urgent now thank goodness.

Why is it a safeguarding situation? What abuse or neglect is taking place?

@hatgirl

Safeguarding isnt just neglect or abuse

She needs help
…..

OP) I would suggest talking to her husband first, unless she is in immediate danger / Of being taking advantage of, lost, walking out into the road etc

This isn't about abuse or neglect. If she is confused, wandering the streets in her nightie and not recognising people she's known for years, then she is a danger to herself. Of course it is a safeguarding issue. If her husband isn't in the best of health due to his own recent operation, he can hardly look after her as well as himself. They are both at risk.

Because her husband is recovering from an operation and doesnt seem able.to stop her wandering the streets in her nightie. Whilst she is wandering the streets in her nightie in a confused state she is very vulnerable.

Safeguarding absolutely IS about abuse or neglect when you are talking about adult social care.

Section 42 of The Care Act 2014 to be precise.

Adult Social Care have specific safeguarding teams working with people who meet the section 42 safeguarding criteria.

Safeguarding for Adult Social Care is a very specific term used to distinguish abuse and neglect of vulnerable adults from all other types of risk.

Section 42 safeguarding enquiries are a statutory function the Local Authority is responsible for coordinating.

Have a Google of your local safeguarding adults board of you need more info.

Risk isn't the same as safeguarding. Safeguarding is a statutory function regarding abuse and neglect situations.

Covered by section 42 of the care act.

Being a bit confused isn't a safeguarding vulnerable adukts issue - no abuse or neglect is identified.

She may benefit from a Care Act Assessment, part of which will cover her confused behaviours and any risks around that .

But it is NOT a Safeguarding issue under the Care Act 2014 which is the guidance the local authority will be working to.

@hatgirl so what is the appropriate action then if you are concerned about an elderly confused lady who is wandering the streets in her nightie?

@hatgirl I'm sorry but you are wrong! This is a potential safeguarding issue!

Safeguarding is NOT just about abuse and neglect it also covers prevention from harm!

If she is wandering the streets and becomes disorientated she could become very very vulnerable very quickly.

Social services will be able to assess if she / they need a any help. They don't just provide services but can also help signpost people to services that they might benefit from. Even things like community run dementia support groups etc. they could also help them find carers if needed.
Social services are not just there for when things have hit crisis point. They can and should help much earlier.

Unless she has reason to believe the lady is actually at imminent risk of harm (rather tha just noticing shes a bit confused) it's not actually any of her business at this point. She's no idea what support or services they may already be accessing. With a husband at home, who appears to be of sound mind and no other concerns other than the lady is confused...speak to the the husband and ask if everything is OK and if they have any support first? Check would they like her to ring for an assessment for them?Any phone call to adult social care will result in the OP being asked if she has consent to be making the referral - she currently doesn't.She will then be asked if the lack of consent is because she is concerned someone is being abused or neglected (safeguarding).She isn't concerned about abuse or neglect so as a random neighbour she will be told to go and get consent to make the referral and ring back again, or will be given the information to give to the couple about how they can ring for support themselves to pass on to them.It would be slighy different if the OP was ringing with concerns about a lady living on her own doing these kinds of things but she isn't. There is someone else there keeping an eye on her who can ask for help (and may already have done so!) if needed.

I am a social worker.

This would not meet the safeguarding threshold.

This is not something that the proportionate response would be a section 42 safeguarding enquiry.

The prevention from harm element of safeguarding vulnerable adults is about managing the harm from abuse or neglect, not just about all harm/risk prevention.

We can carry on discussing it at length of you like - I fully appreciate that 'safeguarding' has become a catch all term almost everywhere else in society for assessing risk but in adult social care it very specifically relates to abuse and neglect.