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Original poster

If your DC are adults or older teens...

105 replies

StillDre · 10/06/2023 21:25

What was the most stressful age?
What age do you think they start pushing boundaries more, answering back, do the Kevin and Perry attitude or start to care a bit less about breaking rules?

OP posts:
MunchMunch · 11/06/2023 11:41

Ds1 (23) had a terrible 3's stage for a while but generally he's been quite chilled, never brought any trouble to the door. He's in the army now so has moved out and I don't expect any trouble in the future from him.

DD (15) also been a good kid until she reached maybe 12 and has suffered with her MH. Generally a good kid but talks to us quite abruptly and sometimes has a Kevin and Perry tantrum. I don't think we'll have any problems apart from MH. She is much more demanding than my boys have been, constantly wants things.

Ds2 (13) was the hardest especially when he was younger. I couldn't trust him to run ahead of me as he could be unpredictable. He would fight with dd as they are close in age and I think he was jealous of any attention I gave her. He really chilled out from about 7 and I can trust him now. He is a good, helpful lad and he has morals and wants to join the army when he's 16 so going off that I'd say I've got nothing to worry about.

Parkandpicnic · 11/06/2023 11:57

StillDre · 11/06/2023 00:17

Slowly starting to realise this now. And I must say it relieves a lot of worries. All you can do is your best, and it's going to come with difficulties as everything does in life and that doesn't mean failure or that you've done anything wrong, it's just life, plus their own personality is something you cannot control and will play a big role.

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Absolutely, when you go through it the first time you wonder what on earth you did wrong that they turned out like this and can feel like all your efforts through the teenage times are hitting a brick wall and totally unappreciated :( However they do appreciate it when they’re older

Beezknees · 11/06/2023 12:00

My 15yo is quite easy going. I think I've got off lightly. He's a bit of a nerdy type, not really interested in going out to parties or drinking, has a good circle of like minded friends and is quite ambitious (wants to do vet science at uni so knows he needs to get top grades).

I have to nag him to keep his room tidy and help round the house but don't we all. Biggest issue is screen time as he likes to spend most of his free time gaming but I always said as long as it doesn't start affecting his schoolwork or his attitude then I'm not too worried.

pointythings · 11/06/2023 13:17

Mine were actually at their toughest at ages 6 and 9 respectively. The teenage years were easy by comparison.

However, I reckon that was because by then, their dad was fully an alcoholic and they were wary of him. He did a lot of stuff when I was away overnight with work that they didn't tell me until after he was dead. So they were essentially good because they were scared, which is horrific.

What I wish I'd done differently? I wish I'd divorced him 5 years earlier than I did. I was the original boiled frog. The DC might have been harder work, but it would have been better.

As it is, we have ended up a powerful unit of 4 (I ended up fostering an additional one) and we are incredibly close even now they are at uni/working/no longer living with me.

Tiggy321 · 11/06/2023 14:00

My 17 DD is terrible and has been for about 2 years. It's slowly killing me, no joke. My 21 year old DS is pretty awful too when things don't go his way :( My 19 year old DS is and always has been pretty chilled and delightful to be around 🤷‍♀️

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