Thread 8 - TalkLair: “Brewing Russell's teapot”

[Kucinghitam]

Continuation of previous threads (thread 7).

The new lair of JTT escapees is all cosy and homey; we have truly settled here. Outside, the garden is blooming with spring flowers. Inside, the hearth is glowing, pictures are up on the walls, rugs are down on the floors (and assorted pets curled up on them).

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

The Twin Wars sound exhausting! How old are they now?

I'm very glad that my twin is male so we didn't have the competition you hear about with same-sex twins. We each did our share of stomping about generally, but never argued with each other.

Oh Kuc, that sounds wearing. Hormones, an increased need to assert their individuality, being stuck in school during the summer - and all of you being upset about Phoebe. Probably no way out except through. Can you give them tasks, preferably separately, to use up a little excess energy?

Teenage girls are horrible, I know, I was one.

We're already dragging hoses and hauling watering cans about.

I'm only watering containers and newly-planted things. Survival of the fittest, here.

The Twin Wars sound exhausting! How old are they now?

They're 14. When they get along, they're so close and loving. When they fight, it's sudden and shock&awe explosive. The warring has escalated in recent months. I'm hoping it's a combination of end-of-school-year stress/tiredness and (as of last week) sadness about Phoebe, so things might calm down over the summer holidays.

Hah, cross-posted with @DeanElderberry!

Carrying watering cans! That's it, that will keep them busy. Ironing? Cooking actual family meals?

I'm only watering containers and newly-planted things. Survival of the fittest, here.

Wish that was possible at work, but then I'd be out of a job. Anyway, we're invited to one of the parties and at least one of the women there will gush over its loveliness and I can enjoy watching the client toss his mane and puff out his chest like a proud cockerel.

Heh! Tri. I am very conscious that our garden looks as lovely as it does partly because of our wonderful gardeners, and tell them so. For the first time ever I've planted all the things I grew from seed because I had the time to do so, thanks to their work.

We have a guest cat, as of about an hour ago. His name is Sock, in Ukrainian - I'll ask the actual name again and try to remember.

We have Svitlana (mum, 40s) and Kristina (daughter, early 20s). Mum has no English, daughter keeps apologising for her "bad" English, which is actually more than adequate.

Sorry for your twin woes, Kuc. We had two sets of identical twin brothers at school. One were quiet and well behaved, but occasionally, they'd go at it and punch each other to a standstill, with seemingly no words exchanged.

The twin wars sound exhausting, Kuc, hope things calm down once the holidays start. Being 14 is hard though.

No rain here. I got the hosepipe out yesterday as the pots all needed watering and a few more recently planted things were looking thirsty. I was hoping for rain but thought a good soaking first wouldn’t go amiss anyway.

MmePoppy, I didn't realise you had gardeners, from the look of things they're doing a good job. One of the pleasures of the job is giving people something lovely to see outside their windows, especially if they don't get around well. And if it facilitates them being able to show off at their parties, that's good too.

ISTR that 14 is the worst bit of teenagerdom, from oth the teenager POV and the parental POV. Sympathies @Kucinghitam .

I agree. The suggestion of tasks isn't about punishment, it's that sometimes being made feel included and useful and competent at something can help in that horrible confusing changing world.

God, I LOVE Danny and Oti’s samba.

I loved Jay’s jive, and Rachel and Vincent’s AT. And Flavia and Louis’s showdance.

Kuc, your twins are just normal, at least in my experience. My sister - 2 years younger - and I HATED each other until we left home, probably not helped by us having to share a bedroom, and now she’s probably my favourite person in the world. But 30 years ago when my parents were living/working in Singapore, they treated us to Christmas in Bali, we were there about a week, sharing a room, and on the second night we played partnership whist with Mum and Dad, where Sis and I fell out TERRIBLY and didn’t speak again to each other for the rest of the holiday, which included a few days back in Singapore after Bali and of course that eternal flight home to the UK sat next to each other in furious silence. If she hadn’t got pregnant the following month - I was the first person she told, demolishing our feud in an instant - we might still not be speaking now!

When we were warring teenagers, my sister and I were best friends with another pair of sisters, and my Mum was always pointing them out as they walked past together, walking their dog, chatting and laughing with each other. “Why can’t you be like them?” she’d ask, convinced WE were the abnormal ones, but I think THEY were the abnormal ones.

My mother was close to a sister 14 months younger than her (they were in the same form throughout school because Ma was very ill as a child and missed a few years) and well into their 70s the row about whether the creature that had crawled up the window when they were ca 4 was a wips or a wops could still erupt. Seriously volcanic.

The rest of the time they were very friendly. The aunt had twin girls, but I can't remember details of what happened during that time when they were turning from the terrifying group creature 'the twins' into separate people A and B. A certain amount of infighting, but them against the world, I think.

14 is a bastard age for parents and children alike. Try not to worry too much, they can fight like that because they are so close and it's completely normal. It won't disappear overnight but it will get better and they will be close and loving again. I was a nightmare at that age and remember how horrible it felt and how little control of it/me I had. When it feels like a maelstrom just turn to one of my favourite women from olden times, Julian of Norwich and her wise, "All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well." When life is tough it's a mantra that I return to.

Sympathies, Kuc. 14 is very difficult. I am glad I did not have to deal with two 14 year olds at once! Please award yourself a gold star/medal/gin and tonic and remember that at some point it will pass...

I've got horrible memories of being 14. At that age, my older brother was so awful I remember my dad ordering him out of the house and throwing his shoes out of the window after him. Me and twin mainly hid in our bedrooms, me with a book and him with his records.

I remember having awful rows with my mum at that age (no sibling at home since my brother was ten years older). My kids, surprisingly, were OK at 14 - more problematic a bit later.

My mother spent most of my 14th year doing a postgrad degree at a university 100 miles away and only saw me at weekends. I wonder whether she had some deep strategy beyond up-skilling?

My father was a dutiful rather than a good cook and I did a bit of defensive up-skilling myself.

Nasochik is the actual name of the cat. Stress on the "o."

We had a little bit of rain here this afternoon which was rather nice as it had turned a bit humid. How's that for an interesting post!

We've had the second sunny day in a row, it was 21° It's been mild, but overcast for more than a week.

Hot and humid here. Rain is needed.

I was at my wildest at 14. I think I was horrible and my mum deserved better.

LOADS of rain here this afternoon. And thunder, but I didn't spot any lighting.