can't stop thinking about awful parents at park

[cantsleep6thjune2023]

I'm so ashamed of myself for doing or saying nothing today. I honestly thought i would've had the guts but clearly not.

Me and my 3 dc were sitting on a park bench today ( early for appointment) when s couple and a baby around 12 ish months sat on the opposite bench.

Both of them started drinking cider ? and the baby started to cry. Dad told baby she was a little bitch and if it wasn't for them fighting she would be in care.
Mum then told him not to give the stupid fucking bitch any attention.

The calmness and ease was disturbing and i can only imagine what happens between close doors

How i wish i said something 😪

Oh gosh that poor child. Realistically nothing you could’ve said would have made any difference to how they will treat her. I would be keeping an eye out for them again and trying to report them to social services if possible.

Nothing you could have said would have made any difference, and with people like that, who knows what else they are capable of. Your children didn't need to witness the inevitable scene that would have resulted from you confronting those scumbags.

God, that's just awful. That poor child. I'm disturbed just by reading about it.

All I can hope for is that sooner - preferably! - or later SS will be onto them.

I know but i watched then walked away when a child was being abused.
The coldness and ease of both of them was so horrific. I hope she's ok

Agree with Aquamarine and Thisisabsolutelyfine. It would not have made one jot of difference if you had said anything to them. There's no reasoning with people like that.

Hi @cantsleep6thjune2023 omg 😞 poor baby 😞
There is nothing you could have said that will have made a difference xx

I tend to speak out without thinking and my gut reaction is they would have shouted at you minimum. There’s also potential they might have physically hurt your or your DC if you said anything. As awful as it sounds you and your DC are the most important people to you.

It’s a no win situation, say nothing and you are wracked with guilt. Say something and you don’t know how they are going to react, what substances they are on or if they carry a weapon.

That child will be flagged to the system I can almost guarantee it.

If you said anything they would have gone away and taken it out on the kid. I don't know what the best idea would be to do, but you did the best probably

If you see them again I think you should report them, take pictures or anything to help identify them. That sounds worrying, but no nothing you would have said would have made a difference.

🥺

If you'd have said anything you'd have put yourself, your DC and that poor baby at risk, with no real reward.

Even if you found out where they lived and reported them it's highly unlikely anything would be done.

Unfortunately shes just an innocent young child who'll go under the radar because she wont be in childcare or anything like that.

I hope she's ok - but there was honestly nothing you could have done to help her.

Realistically speaking out would have only put yourself and your children in danger and would have made not one jot of difference to their behaviour.
So upsetting to witness though

Im not sure if this will make you feel better or worse but here goes:

About 5 years ago I was coming out of a supermarket with a co worker and saw a woman punch her small child in the head. not hit, not slap - punched. The child was small enough to be sat in the seat of the trolley and be rocked back almost out of the seat by the blow - the poor child didn't cry out or wail at the blow (which upset me even more) .

We both gasped in shock and the woman clocked me taking note of her car registration. She came over screaming and yelling. I was on the phone to the police (locked in my car) while she was screaming banging on the window and yelling for us to come out so she could fuck my ass up. The call centre confirmed there was a major incident locally so they couldn't send anyone out.

So we just sat there until she went back to her child threw them in the car and drove off like a maniac.

I was called by the police the following day and 'they had done a safety check and all was fine' I complained hard that wasn't enough and that i had a witness to the significant blow that was done to the child. I was told as we worked together it was not 'independent'. I chased the following day to be told that they would not be taking it any further and I was to stop calling as I was making a nuisance of myself - which is an offence in its own right.

I am still livid and think about that poor child every time I go into that particular supermarket (which thankfully is very rare)

I would have found it pretty impossible to say nothing. I absolutely hate abusive behaviour towards children and babies, and I would have wanted my own children to see that this kind of treatment of children is totally unacceptable.

I don't think that's really fair. The OP was with her own DC and if they will speak that way about and to their own baby god knows what they would do to an adult stranger.

I'm a bit sensitive to this at the moment as I've just watched the episodes of "24 hours in police custody" about Lucci Smith and Kane Mitchell. Kane murdered 11 week old baby Teddie. Social Services involved numerous times through his short life and before it, public health appointment missed the injuries he had already sustained before the fatal attack. The couple that the OP is referring to were talking about ss involvement. WTF are social services playing at that they keep missing this stuff, or downplaying it and leaving children in these situations. The only thing the OP could have done is called the police about the cider drinking but ultimately it's up to ss who have evidently already ignored an opportunity to safeguard the baby.

As sad as it is, nothing you would have said would have helped. In fact they may have turned on you, or took it out on their baby.

It’s a shame you didn’t get a name or anything so you could report to SS though

@flabbergastedandfumbletooted

That's awful.

I saw a woman hit her child, push them onto the ground and scream in her face while the dad called her names. I called the non emergency line and the police were nonplussed, said it didn't sound like assault or any need for intervention.

The only reason people like this have kids is because of the benefits they get for having a child. Sick scum

It's disturbing, but in a clearly entrenched situation like that a comment from a stranger will make no difference, we just have to trust that the 'system' will work

i glare at bad parenting.
make my presence known
but for people drinking cider, no idea if that would work,

It sounds like that recent case where the darling baby was removed from his happy life with foster parents and given back to his abusive parents, and he died on Christmas Day about 6 weeks later. I wondered why they wanted him back, and the point about the benefits makes sense.
I agree with everyone else - they would've become aggressive to you. I hope you get the chance to take a photo and report them. Even if Police or SS do nothing yet, at least it's evidence for the future.

I'm honestly nearly in tears reading this that poor baby girl. How can people be like this, I genuinely don't know how I would have reacted, maybe I would have tried to take a photo of them to pass on but honestly I'd have been in shock and done the same as you. If it helps you feel better, the Dad said they had to fight to keep her, so social services sound like they are involved already. Let's hope they see sense soon and give the little girl a better life somewhere else.

Omg . Surely there was a camera in the carpark the police could have checked? I bet the mum was all sweetness and light when the police came and probably gave them a cock and bull story where you were painted the bad guy . I've given up on the police . If they can brush stuff under the carpet they will .

Once again lazy policing

Nothing you could have said would have changed anything. You could have maybe called the police at best but that would have meant waiting and letting your child whiteness the whole event too.

It may help you to know though - chances are they're an alcoholic couple who frequent aa or da meetings on occasions, maybe have been in rehab and relapsed - meaning they'll be known by the authorities and aa/da groups who will have informed Social Services and they will be being watched especially because they're obv not sober.

Any addict that falls pregnant is watched due to the higher likely hood of possible neglect or situations of abuse their child may be put in. I have a family member who is an addict (sober now and supports others in recovery, they recently had a sponsee who relapsed and fell pregnant, I asked what would happen if this lady didn't get sober again before the birth or anytime soon and was advised that either way the expectant mother will be being watched and monitored). They'll have known throughout her pregnancy she wasn't sober, regardless as to what she told them, it'll be in all her files and social services will know about the couple already.

Try and take some peace in that is all I can say. If you do see them again. Call the police for their advice but do not approach them yourself.