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Original poster

can't stop thinking about awful parents at park

104 replies

cantsleep6thjune2023 · 06/06/2023 00:54

I'm so ashamed of myself for doing or saying nothing today. I honestly thought i would've had the guts but clearly not.

Me and my 3 dc were sitting on a park bench today ( early for appointment) when s couple and a baby around 12 ish months sat on the opposite bench.

Both of them started drinking cider ? and the baby started to cry. Dad told baby she was a little bitch and if it wasn't for them fighting she would be in care.
Mum then told him not to give the stupid fucking bitch any attention.

The calmness and ease was disturbing and i can only imagine what happens between close doors

How i wish i said something 😪

OP posts:
RailwayCutting · 06/06/2023 10:11

flabbergastedandfumbletooted · 06/06/2023 09:09

Im not sure if this will make you feel better or worse but here goes:

About 5 years ago I was coming out of a supermarket with a co worker and saw a woman punch her small child in the head. not hit, not slap - punched. The child was small enough to be sat in the seat of the trolley and be rocked back almost out of the seat by the blow - the poor child didn't cry out or wail at the blow (which upset me even more) .

We both gasped in shock and the woman clocked me taking note of her car registration. She came over screaming and yelling. I was on the phone to the police (locked in my car) while she was screaming banging on the window and yelling for us to come out so she could fuck my ass up. The call centre confirmed there was a major incident locally so they couldn't send anyone out.

So we just sat there until she went back to her child threw them in the car and drove off like a maniac.

I was called by the police the following day and 'they had done a safety check and all was fine' I complained hard that wasn't enough and that i had a witness to the significant blow that was done to the child. I was told as we worked together it was not 'independent'. I chased the following day to be told that they would not be taking it any further and I was to stop calling as I was making a nuisance of myself - which is an offence in its own right.

I am still livid and think about that poor child every time I go into that particular supermarket (which thankfully is very rare)

That's terrible that they said all was fine when you'd told them the child was punched in the head

goodkidsmaadhouse · 06/06/2023 10:15

It’s incredibly distressing witnessing something like that OP and no wonder you can’t stop thinking about it. There’s nothing you really could’ve done though.

Original poster
cantsleep6thjune2023 · 06/06/2023 10:20

I know that doing nothing was the best thing especially for my own children but how depressing. Thanks for all the kind words Hopefully that little girl has the same kindness in her life ❤

OP posts:

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BaconAndAvocado · 06/06/2023 10:21

What a terrible thing to happen to the baby and for you and your DCs to witness.

I absolutely agree that getting involved would have ended badly,
possibly very badly.

It would have been awful for your DCs to witness this too.

I’m not sure how old your DCs are or how much of what was going on they saw and/or understood.
I would be speaking to them and explaining that, unfortunately, some adults are not sensible or caring but the very vast majority are.

I really sympathise with you OP as I know I would be feeling exactly the same as you.
I know it’s not the done thing on MN but I’m sending you a huge hug.
Saying nothing in that situation really was the right and responsible thing to do.

TheUnsettling · 06/06/2023 10:21

I’m really surprised at some of the responses on here. People can hope the child is okay but the child is not okay, in the least it is being mentally abused. You need to report this with their descriptions to police and SS. People will say ‘what do you expect to happen?’ but if they are already known then it may just flag extra support.

So many cases of seriously abused children are ignored until it’s too late, with too many people saying ‘well I couldn’t have done anything’.

Nothingisblackandwhite · 06/06/2023 10:21

Unfortunately until hitting a child is illegal there isn’t much police can do . England really needs to change the law
I would have felt the same way as you . It’s shocking . Poor baby

BaconAndAvocado · 06/06/2023 10:23

TheUnsettling · 06/06/2023 10:21

I’m really surprised at some of the responses on here. People can hope the child is okay but the child is not okay, in the least it is being mentally abused. You need to report this with their descriptions to police and SS. People will say ‘what do you expect to happen?’ but if they are already known then it may just flag extra support.

So many cases of seriously abused children are ignored until it’s too late, with too many people saying ‘well I couldn’t have done anything’.

I agree with your intention TheUnsettling but how could the OP report it if she has no names?

Mrscarlossainz · 06/06/2023 10:25

That's so sad. I don't get why people have children if they don't want them or like them.

TheUnsettling · 06/06/2023 10:26

BaconAndAvocado · 06/06/2023 10:23

I agree with your intention TheUnsettling but how could the OP report it if she has no names?

Show quote history

Using descriptions. It might come to nothing, but if a social worker recognises the description is could make a tiny difference.

LadyJ2023 · 06/06/2023 10:28

My heart goes out to the little girl but you did the right thing for yourself and your child. Much as I would also want to dive in we have to think of our own if there with us.

Soubriquet · 06/06/2023 10:28

TheUnsettling · 06/06/2023 10:21

I’m really surprised at some of the responses on here. People can hope the child is okay but the child is not okay, in the least it is being mentally abused. You need to report this with their descriptions to police and SS. People will say ‘what do you expect to happen?’ but if they are already known then it may just flag extra support.

So many cases of seriously abused children are ignored until it’s too late, with too many people saying ‘well I couldn’t have done anything’.

What could she have done? Realistically?

Saying something could have gotten have assaulted, or worse the child might have been assaulted.

She could have discreetly videoed it, but then the police still don’t have much to go on.

She could report it, but what does she say? “I heard two parents saying nasty things about their daughter whilst they drinking cider at the local play park. I’m concerned about the child”

”ok miss, can I get a name”

”oh…I haven’t got one for them”

At the end of the day, the OP heard some vile words but didn’t actually witness any physical abuse. The police would have their hands tied

BaconAndAvocado · 06/06/2023 10:28

TheUnsettling yes, that’s true. It’s definitely worth a phone call.

TheUnsettling · 06/06/2023 10:31

Soubriquet · 06/06/2023 10:28

What could she have done? Realistically?

Saying something could have gotten have assaulted, or worse the child might have been assaulted.

She could have discreetly videoed it, but then the police still don’t have much to go on.

She could report it, but what does she say? “I heard two parents saying nasty things about their daughter whilst they drinking cider at the local play park. I’m concerned about the child”

”ok miss, can I get a name”

”oh…I haven’t got one for them”

At the end of the day, the OP heard some vile words but didn’t actually witness any physical abuse. The police would have their hands tied

Show quote history

As I have said twice, report using a description. It may come to nothing but if someone recognises the description it may lead to an extra check up.

It’s always worth doing something rather than nothing. Always.

TheUnsettling · 06/06/2023 10:32

TheUnsettling · 06/06/2023 10:31

As I have said twice, report using a description. It may come to nothing but if someone recognises the description it may lead to an extra check up.

It’s always worth doing something rather than nothing. Always.

Show quote history

And by the way, I say this from experience.

it ALWAYS worthy saying something. It will bring no extra trouble to the OP and it leaves the person receiving the notification from the OP to make the decision based on the report.

please, please, always report.

greenspaceplace · 06/06/2023 10:37

Maybe a nice comment
'oh wow thats a lovely dress'
'What a pretty daughter'
'oh you know my youngest used to cry like that it's hard isn't it?'
'How old is she, my xxx wasn't talking that well until way older'

I saw someone do this in a supermarket before, the parents were a bit rough looking and obviously pissed off with the kids but after a compliment on their children they softened and walked away nicer. I always do it now and it almost always works to lift their mood.

Saying something derogatory or negative will only end badly for the child. a compliment about the child will help.

it's happened to me a couple of times, the kids are crying (I'm not abusing them but am a bit annoyed and tired) some people tut and mae your mood worse, some people chat about how everyone's kids cry on the bus don't worry. it does lift your mood.

PizzaPastaWine · 06/06/2023 10:37

Could there be a chance this was on CCTV? Either on the bench or nearby?

If there is I'd call the police.

ODFODeary · 06/06/2023 10:38

I agree with @TheUnsettling
Ring SS , you know the rough age of the child, you know the child's a girl, you know that the parents have had to fight SS to get her home, you know that they are drinkers, the area they live, can you guess the age of the parents, even roughly ?
Just tell them all of that, you were quite right not to approach them @cantsleep6thjune2023 so don't berate yourself
Worth a shot

TheUnsettling · 06/06/2023 10:38

And you can report anonymously online with social services, it takes five minutes.

Blabberbox · 06/06/2023 10:39

flabbergastedandfumbletooted · 06/06/2023 09:09

Im not sure if this will make you feel better or worse but here goes:

About 5 years ago I was coming out of a supermarket with a co worker and saw a woman punch her small child in the head. not hit, not slap - punched. The child was small enough to be sat in the seat of the trolley and be rocked back almost out of the seat by the blow - the poor child didn't cry out or wail at the blow (which upset me even more) .

We both gasped in shock and the woman clocked me taking note of her car registration. She came over screaming and yelling. I was on the phone to the police (locked in my car) while she was screaming banging on the window and yelling for us to come out so she could fuck my ass up. The call centre confirmed there was a major incident locally so they couldn't send anyone out.

So we just sat there until she went back to her child threw them in the car and drove off like a maniac.

I was called by the police the following day and 'they had done a safety check and all was fine' I complained hard that wasn't enough and that i had a witness to the significant blow that was done to the child. I was told as we worked together it was not 'independent'. I chased the following day to be told that they would not be taking it any further and I was to stop calling as I was making a nuisance of myself - which is an offence in its own right.

I am still livid and think about that poor child every time I go into that particular supermarket (which thankfully is very rare)

That is absolutely horrible! Just awful. Why are people like that, what’s wrong with them?!

greenspaceplace · 06/06/2023 10:40

oh and of course, make a report with the park. and whatever you know about them.
Man with beard, blonde woman with brown hair daughter around d 3 years old at xxx Park at this time. just calling to report xxx language and etc what ever else.

They sound like they already had a social worker so add this in. it will help.

x2boys · 06/06/2023 10:40

TheUnsettling · 06/06/2023 10:21

I’m really surprised at some of the responses on here. People can hope the child is okay but the child is not okay, in the least it is being mentally abused. You need to report this with their descriptions to police and SS. People will say ‘what do you expect to happen?’ but if they are already known then it may just flag extra support.

So many cases of seriously abused children are ignored until it’s too late, with too many people saying ‘well I couldn’t have done anything’.

Realistically what can the police ,social.services do about a report of verbal abuse to a young child ,when there are no names ,no way of knowing where they live etc?

Blabberbox · 06/06/2023 10:42

Nothingisblackandwhite · 06/06/2023 10:21

Unfortunately until hitting a child is illegal there isn’t much police can do . England really needs to change the law
I would have felt the same way as you . It’s shocking . Poor baby

Is it not illegal to hit a child in the UK, surely this cannot be true..?! Why not??

TheUnsettling · 06/06/2023 10:44

Please read my subsequent posts.

lostinmaze · 06/06/2023 10:44

I have the misfortune to know someone who regularly talks to her 3 boys like that, plus she's been seen hitting/kicking and slapping them in public, is the same behind closed doors from what I have heard, and these such acts have been reported by many, myself included. Although she is being monitored by social services her children remain very much I'm her 'care' sadly. She also allows unsuitable men in their lives who abuse them, they stand no chnace, and again social services are aware and do practically nothing. So even if you had said anything op and known exactly where they lived and all their details, chances are nothing would be done I help this poor baby. It's just a really sad desperate situation that there's many children living awful lives and there's very little support out there for them.

Lwrenagain · 06/06/2023 10:56

Seeing this sort of thing in the flesh is such a gut punch, sadly I've seen it a few times now.
Echoing PP and even if you'd reported it, nothing will be done. You don't know their names and even if you did, they're not going to confess to being hideous creatures.

It's something I've witnessed sadly a few times, the worst was in a pub. I did say something but honestly I probably made shit worse and with the gift of maturity and hindsight, I wouldn't nowadays :(