At what household income would you become a SAHP?

[AlenaMacc]

Just curious really.
I am aware that many people don’t want to be SAHPs for reasons other than money, but in this case I am asking purely about the financial aspect.
What would the household income need to be for you personally so that either you or your spouse would become a SAHP in order to improve the family quality of life etc?

I’ve never missed a school play or sports day neither has my husband. We’ve both done school pick ups and shared the sick days.

i worked FT (i now do 30 hours) as did my husband but we’ve always prioritised our children - it hurts me when i read why have kids and just shove them into day care :( We are both close to our children and have a lovely relationship. I love the fact my husband didn’t want to be a workaholic & wanted to parent with me. That has enabled me to have a career as well - so we both have a good balance. Though I don’t judge whether anyone is a SAHP it’s none of my business.

But to answer that actual question I think it’s nicer that both parents work PT to both be available so probably 30k each - for it not to impact to much.

Totally agree something money just can't buy you will never have that time with your kids again. I do understand some people being a SAHP isn't a option but it blow my mind when they have more than one kid.

It would have match our current combined income of well in excess of £100k.
I wouldn't want to change our lifestyle to be a SAHM.

Interesting you should say that; given that the only hateful comment in this thread so far is of the “if you work you don’t love your children” type.

Chickpea17 if we're being literal, money is what buys the privileged choice to be a SAHP, unless you're independently wealthy of course

It's the same with SAHP families though. One parent has to work to fund everything and they will 'never have that time with their kids again'.

Maybe they shouldn't have more than 1 child either.

I considered not returning after May leave a few years ago when husband earned c£200k. Best decision i have ever made not to stop work.
we are now separated I have my own job where I “only” earn c£100k so can support the kids on my own (yes it’s amicable and he does pay towards them but I could do it on my own).
I Still do 3 pick ups direct from school a week (and then take them on to various activities or home without starting work again) and 4 drop offs direct at school. These days you really can have the best of both worlds.

15k

I guess it depends on area as well as other factors because a good wage up north may be practically nothing in/around London.

DH earns around £80k and I'm a SAHM.
I planned to retrain and start a new career from
September when youngest DC is in school but DH is soon going to be warning £100k-£150k and has said that I can stay as I am if I'd like.
I haven't decided yet.

I'm a SAHP and DH earns around 80k. We could manage on less. Being at home with my dc is extremely important to me and there are plenty of other things I'd cut before going back to work. Not sure DH would feel the same about cutting some of the things I'd cut though.

Basically, it's not really about how much DH earns for me. It's also about whether childcare will cost more than I'd be earning. I'm not going to work if all my money is being used to pay someone else to look after my dc, which I'd rather be doing anyway!

I know several couples where the dh is only on about £35k and they are sahms. Saying you'd NEED £150k is a bit silly imo. It just means you don't want to make the lifestyle changes that being a sahp would entail.

Do SAHPs not respect themselves?

If it was a really high salary then I'd like to be 'at home' but not necessarily looking after my kids 24/7 so that's not really being a SAHP, just a lady of leisure I think . Nursery saves my sanity and allows me to be a great parent the rest of the time, so I wouldn't give that up. I think it's pretty relentless being a SAHP and it's not really about money for me. We could probably afford it if we lived 'quietly', but I'm not cut out for it.

As it is I work part time in a v flexible job, which is pretty much perfect. I can do all pick-ups and drop offs, make all events, kids are in nursery 2/3 days a week, and the rest of the time they're either with me or me and DH.

DH was on 19k, but it wasn't really a choice. DD has additional needs and couldn't go into childcare, she only recognised and trusted me. No benefits related to her AN; diagnosis is a bitch to get through, and her particular presentation is tricky to nail down.

What pisses me off are parents who say "oh, I'd do anything for my child" but pair this with saying they can't afford to home educate/SAHM with their desperate children as they drive off in their new car to the airport for their third holiday of the year. You can, but it's a choice. Priorities. We made a ton of compromises to look after our kids.

It's not about earning a fortune, it's about weighing up the relative cost/benefit to every individual within the family (your mental health matters too).

I'm a foster carer so I literally get paid to stay at home to look after the children. My husband also has a full time job so as a family we probably have a household income of about £60k. We are very comfortable on that. The kids get nice activities and we don't have to scrimp and save. If I was a stay at home parent without any income then I think we could easily save £10k a year and live on about £50k without having to save every penny. But my husband's wage is below that so I don't think we could go down to just his income.

Enough to have some sort of house help.

SAHM have a hard job doing it alone, especially when kids aren't at school yet and you have more than 1.

Just having someone else to cook and clean for you whilst you look after your kids is a HUGE burden off your shoulders.

When kids start school, I'd do it for about £80/90k, no house help required 😂

I'm a SAHM on a household income of around £28k. Perfectly doable for us.

As others have said, what an incredibly judgemental post. Maybe your situation works for you but it doesn't for many others. There are many positive studies about having a working mother and the benefits to girls self confidence. You seem to lack an understanding of working hours/conditions. Having a working mother doesn't equate to "children barely seeing their parents". I work full time and finish between 3.30-4pm to see my children for 4 hours every evening before they go to bed and all weekend. I, like most working parents, can take annual leave to attend any school events. My children, like most, don't want me standing over their after school activities other than the occasional events parents are invited to. They need their own space and independence. Your children may not "give a crap about fancy holidays" but mine certainly do & I'm sure many others do too. I've discussed our situation with DD in the past and she's voiced that she's perfectly happy with it & would rather I work to afford the lifestyle we have. There is no "right" or wrong for SAHP or working parents, everyone's situation is different. It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself there is though.

2005 I earnt 19k a year (apparently that is about 30k a year now) and my wife became a stay at home mum.

Probably around 150k. But as others have said- I wouldn't want to give up work completely as I'd not feel like me, plus I don't want my children growing up to think that men work and women are housewives.
I'd love to go down to 3 days a week, but at the moment we're concentrating on our savings.
I had about 5 years as a stay at home parent when they were little (although I did freelance work from home in the evenings), but as soon as they were at school I went back to full-time work outside the home.

£35k would be comfortable for us (North West). I'd love to be a stay at home mum if we could afford it, though probably just until they're old enough to go to school. I think I'd still want to work part time once they were older. Then the dream would be a term time job during school hours!

For those saying large amounts like £150k +, can I ask why you would need that much money to live on? I can't even comprehend that amount of money or it being the minimum that I would want coming into the household.

Wow, this comment about respecting yourself, passive aggressive to SAHMs much!

Purely financially about £120k. Minimum. We live in London though.

70k. No children though, so I'd be a housewife, would be totally happy. I have loads of health issues and trying to work even part-time is really hard and horribly stressful because of how I feel so if DP earned more I would give up work totally.

I was a sahp and it broke us financially before we got our credit cards loans etc paid off. Back working two years now and the difference me working makes is huge FINANCIALLY- we couldn’t afford things anything’extra’ for the kids- swimming classes, non essential essential kids’ clothes etc. I could be a sahp but we’d be watching pennies (not like before but probably all treats would go again)

Saying that I regularly consider quitting- both myself and my husband are basically on warnings with work from taking time off when they are sick, I work weekends and have missed endless days out, haven’t been able to get some school plays, birthdays, and sports days etc. Homework is rushed in the evenings and the kids are bundled in and out of the car to get him to train and so I can get to work. I don’t call what we’re doing living really