Anxiety in fifty and sixty year olds

[callingeveryone]

I am in my fifties and I am just noticing more and more friends getting anxious about doing a range of things. This is anything from driving on a motorway, to travelling abroad to a non tourist resort area. Not all my friends, some are still very adventurous. But is this the beginning of the anxiety many older people seem to feel?
And nearly all older people seem to develop more anxiety as they are in their seventies and eighties. I saw it in my mother who was not afraid of anything when younger, but by her seventies would get anxious about going anywhere new?
Maybe it is inevitable? But I really want to avoid it for myself if possible.

I agree with your last comment. I'm an only child also, and if I don't deal with things no-one else will, so I just get on with it. Also single and childless, so yes, I have to be resilient.

Im 58 and I blame it on the menopause.

It's very odd because most of the things that used to fill me with dread don't bother me know, yet things I used to enjoy like riding a horse I nearly can't do now, I get on and I feel my heart start pounding. That upsets the horse and nobody has a nice time. I don't even know why!
I'm active, take my HRT to hopefully ward off Osteoporosis later, not overweight and a long way from decrepit, although I will admit to arthritis which is painful particularly when it's damp weather - I'm way off giving up yet!

That sounds like my lockdown years TBH, presumably everyone else's were similar?

It wasn't advertised for years and pretty much noone in the media was talking about it up til less than five years ago.

I started hrt five or six years ago, first of my age group. They were all really surprised as it wasn't the mainstream staple of chatshows, tv programmes and articles that it is now.

They are all on it now and of course it's everywhere you turn. Which is why there have suddenly been huge shortages of various hrt.

I have had severe anxiety all my life, but through it all, I have been the most confident driver, I would drive 3 to 4 hundred miles in a day, motorways never bothered me at all. Now, in my late 50s, I can get quite nervous beforehand, worrying about what may happen. That may be the problem though, that I have more spare time to think. I refuse to let it beat me, though.

Where was [menopause] 'advertised for years ? I'm talking maybe 15 or so years ago.

Nobody read the Daily Mail ~15 years ago, did they.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1020532/First-wonder-drug-danger-health-HRT-given-ALL-CLEAR.html

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-448243/Why-men-fear-menopause.html

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1084940/Why-women-LESS-bitchy-older-yes-men.html

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/hormone-therapy-not-for-older-women/

Menopause was a topic on All in the Family in the 1970s; actresses were talking about menopause in the 1980s & 1990s.

Definitely a thing, I'm mid 50's and trying to keep as physically fit as I possibly can. Ok with driving as I love it but can see lots of my friends not wanting to drive at night etc

Yes, so it used to be associated with danger and risk.

Then it was talked about infrequently in terms of menopause itself.

Nowadays, it's much much more visible, there's a lot of advertising latching onto it, the role of hrt in perimenopause is starting to be understood (let's face it, plenty of GPs still won't prescribe for anxiety in peri). It's all over the media.

These are all very recent phenomena.

HRT used to be mainly prescribed to women from an educated background. Perhaps if that's your own background it might appear that everyone knew about it (although even GPs weren't prescribing, and only for perhaps 2 years to get over the worst etc). My mother knew about it, and she's in her 70s, but she was terrified of it because everyone was saying it was linked to cancer. That reputation takes a lot to disappear. Only one woman she knew took it. Now all my friends are on it.

Of course as well, middle aged women are in the workplace in much bigger numbers, so it's an issue there. (also more £ to spend so more advertising of products).

My work had a menopause policy about five years ago, and were very unusual in my sector for doing so. Now all employers in my sector have one, and menopause support groups, menopause cafes etc. We run training on how it can affect performance, including lack of confidence, anxiety, sleep deprivation. All that was just not talked about before, and middle aged women were the group most likely to be managed out due to sudden poor performance.

I too think it’s the world shrinking so it’s harder to then occasionally step out of their comfort zone.

The menopause doesnt help. My health anxiety is certainly increasing, but I’m ok everywhere else.

My mother knew about it, and she's in her 70s, but she was terrified of it because everyone was saying it was linked to cancer.

But the generation(s) before her were not scared off it. It was only since the WHI and other findings were misrepresented in the media about 20 years ago that women stopped their prescriptions and GPs became afraid to prescribe it.

I think the current figure is that between 10-15% of women are on HRT now.

That's a possible increase of around 5% in the last few years.

Interesting, thank you! So a pretty massive increase in a short space of time for that age cohort. No wonder we have so many different shortages. Utrogestan now. Just googled and it has "increased rapidly" from 11% to 15% in the last two years alone according to UK government.

I'd be interested to know the cohort as well. In the past, it was very skewed towards educated middle class. I ber that's starting to change.

Of course another factor that may influence increasing uptake in future will be the reduced cost of prescriptions - again, a new policy on the back of sudden political interest in a 'hot topic' (not just from the menopausal flushes).

It really is a popular topic when you get ministers talking about it in public speeches.

I'd take my figures with a big pinch of salt and do your own research. I'm going from memory. It was 10% so not exactly sure now- I think the figures are vague anyway as many women start and stop after a few years. There was a demographic search in the Daily Mail a while back and it showed what you might expect. Educated women and those living in the SE (and especially the SW interestingly) were the highest users and those in the more deprived areas of the north, the least.

I have never read the Daily Mail and would never do so.
The only big thing in the media I remember was the scare stories about HRT and breast cancer, which put swathes of women off it, and still does.

Bit of basic history here:

Everyday drugs: The rise and fall of HRT | New Scientist

Loving all this data. Did some more reading.

Check out the increase on this graph! The last few years have really taken off.
https://bjgpopen.org/content/6/4/BJGPO.2022.0126

Fascinating to read that HRT was so widely used 30 years ago before pretty much dropping off a cliff edge 20 years or so ago.
Luckily for us as well, we now get better and safer combinations (and testosterone starting to be added in), and for longer.

And where in those Clickbait articles does it discuss anxiety? Will your wife divorce you and older women are less bitchy isn't exactly hard-hitting journalism.

I'm in my 60's and just starting to feel the anxiety - but only around driving. I'm fine with everything else - and will still walk into a room where I know nobody and feel perfectly at ease.

I think a lot is due to declining reaction times. My brain is aware that it now takes me longer to react to a dangerous situation or an empty parking space, and that my spatial awareness is not as good as it was. Despite this, I still drive long distances occasionally, because it's either use it or lose it. A good friend won't drive on motorways ever, or to places where she doesn't know where to go or where to park and I'm terrified of ending up like her and unable to ever go anywhere new. I'm single - if I don't drive, I don't go.

So, despite my caution, I'm making myself drive unknown roads. I am VERY anxious about driving to new cities though.

Do you mean that all staff are trained or that's it open to anyone on a voluntary basis?

It makes me feel really uneasy that my immediate colleagues might believe that my performance and confidence levels could be down to menopause.

If my performance is in question I would expect my line manager to raise the issue with me and it then be for me to explain that due to menopause I felt my anxiety was increased, or that I was suffering from insomnia.

My mum’s anxiety started after she retired early (too early IMO). Things that didn’t phase her at all when she was working and busy took on an outsized significance and we all got the brunt of it.

2007: "What is perimenopause?"
Nov 2007: "I thought I was dying"
January 2008: Study finds exercise reduces menopausal anxiety, stress and depression
January 2008: Women who also had PPD are At Greater Risk for Perimenopausal Depression
October 2008: Panic attacks and the Menopause

My parents have lots of health issues, have had painful falls that have necessitated surgery but are still cheerfully independent. Relatively poor and having seen their best friends die they have very few complaints .I hope to carry that attitude but not too far. Getting mum to stop driving was tough but she needed to for other road users and pedestrians. She did have hrt for years and loved it while my dad still does accessible versions of things he has always enjoyed. I am thankful for their gumption and can’t really account for why their has lasted.

I remember my Grandmother asking me if my mum had reached menopause when I was in my early 20s, so 35 years ago.

They definitely knew about it. It's not something Mum would ever talk about, even now (I didn't and don't know the answer) but GM, her mother, was comfortable enough with it.