Anxiety in fifty and sixty year olds

[callingeveryone]

I am in my fifties and I am just noticing more and more friends getting anxious about doing a range of things. This is anything from driving on a motorway, to travelling abroad to a non tourist resort area. Not all my friends, some are still very adventurous. But is this the beginning of the anxiety many older people seem to feel?
And nearly all older people seem to develop more anxiety as they are in their seventies and eighties. I saw it in my mother who was not afraid of anything when younger, but by her seventies would get anxious about going anywhere new?
Maybe it is inevitable? But I really want to avoid it for myself if possible.

Older people often have chronic health conditions which means they can't exercise enough to build muscle strength so they get weaker.
Arthritis, very common in over 50's can affect knees, shoulders, wrist and fingers and make it difficult to do any kind of strength training as the movements involved cause pain and sometimes damage the joints.

If you knew your sight wasn't what it used to be,

If you knew you couldn't turn your stiff neck round far enough to compensate for your peripheral vision not being what it was,

If you lose concentration on journeys longer than local,

If you hurt somewhere in your body when driving,

If you find driving stressful,

If you've had a near miss or two

Would you still drive on longer unfamiliar journeys if you didn't feel safe to do so?

If you have trouble reading the signs at stations, hearing the announcements, or negotiating all the steps and keeping up with the crowds of people, doing all the changes, would you want to travel by train?

It's not anxiety in many cases it's a rational assessment.

Teenagers often overestimate their capabilities and underestimate the risks.

A few more decades of life experience recalibrates that.

I've gone the other way.

In that "time us running out let's do all the stuff we said we would do 'one day'"

But I have always made a conscious effort not to let anxiety take over.

@BeachBlondey but you have just described an anxiety you did not have when younger.

I’m 59, husband’s 65. We’re less anxious than we’ve ever been.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow do you think you will be on it for life now?
I am also on medication for anxiety and I think that may be the case for me

On an individual level, circumstances may vary. But there is nothing unavoidable about losing muscle mass as one ages. It is not a natural part of ageing - it is a consequence of lack of movement and a sedentary lifestyle.

I think lots of people do let their worlds shrink, and there are all sorts of reasons for that from a growing sense of mortality, to feeling more physically fragile to feeling that the world is no longer a place you understand

I think it’s vital to fight against it and call it out when you see in friends, and also to remain engaged with the world as much as possible so you don’t feel hostility that doesn’t exist.

Yeah, I’ll be on it for life. It’s improved my life beyond measure.

I do understand that physical issues make life far more difficult. My DH is now disabled and we have to plan in a way we did not used to E.g. phone small hotel to check there is a lift, book travel assistance at the airport.
I have never had parents who would rescue me, but I can see the death of parents who would rescue makes life seem more precarious.
I should clarify, I am not an ultra confident person naturally. But I know the less I push myself, the more anxiety can take over. So I continue to do things.
I am very aware of death since my parents and in laws have died, alongside two close friends about my age, as well as acquaintances. It does push home the fact that life is very short. And so I want to do things now that I know I won't manage when I am older. I am in my fifties but it feels like time is running out.

I’ve heard plenty of menopausal women say the opposite - that they just stopped giving a shit what other people thought of them after menopause!

I was thinking this recently. I'm 53 and DH is 50. Our last holiday involved extensive travel, on planes and trains, and the amount of physical exertion required to change between terminals with large suitcases etc, was quite extreme. It was fine for us, but I said to my husband, people must just get to an age when they stop travelling, because if you were feeble, you'd never manage it. That said, we saw loads of people getting wheeled about, so maybe you just rely on help at the airport/train station? We did see quite a lot of old people at the luggage carousel and lots of old ladies asked my DH to haul their case off for them. LOL

I agree anxiety is about a shrinking world.
The first time after lockdown I had to drive in a crowded city I was anxious. The city had been so quiet as so many people worked from home and schools were closed, that dealing with all the traffic again was stressful. But I knew I had to get on with it or I could end up never driving in the city again.
I know just getting on with it is not always that easy though. But I think we need to resist as much as we can the issues that push us to restrict our world.

I think you have to remember most of this is irrational though

How often do you get stranded really? Isn’t there a friend or neighbour who’d come get you in an emergency?

If there’s a train strike on you can take a coach.

You can build relationships with new tradesmen you find on locally recommended sites, or on Which’s site, who will not take advantage of you

I think you post really underlines that it’s important to get out and keep making new relationships, or the world starts to seem much more hostile than it is

When younger, I conducted a focus group of older people at a day Centre. I was really struck by how vulnerable they felt to being physically attacked. They knew they could not even run away, let alone fight back. And so they made choices that limited their lives, such as not going out after dark. I was also struck by how their lives were full of limitations and frustrations, missing buses as they could no longer run for them, not being able to visit a favorite park as the entrance to it was on a decline and they could no longer physically manage that. You can see why all those things lead to a drop in confidence, I guess.

My DH and I say when we ge t properly old we will book the. Saga holidays where they send you a taxi to your door to pick you up and look after you. At the moment we still travel independently although we book airport assistance. But I know one day that will become too hard. But we hope to still travel abroad.

The OP is taking about anxiety in people that begins in their 50s and 60s though.

Most people of that age aren’t anywhere near this fragile.

So while real problems can kick in later, it starts with a psychological withdrawing from the world that is not rational.

How can you possibly say that nearly all older people develop more anxiety in their sixties and seventies. Please show me the studies that indicate the prevalence of anxiety in older compared to younger age groups.

And how do you define anxiety - it is a normal reaction in many circumstances- it becomes a problem when that worry is excessive and out of proportion to what is being worried about . Having an anxiety disorder is terrible but different from everyday concerns that affect everyone.

Not wanting to drive or travel could be a realistic assessment of your ability to do so. I drove all the time at work but now that I am retired I find the few times I have to drive on a motorway more difficult than before . Familiarity made me more confident. It’s the same with travelling post pandemic.

And many people in their seventies and eighties may be developing cognitive problems ( as well as having poorer hearing and eyesight) This ability to manage information and assess situations can definitely lead to increased anxiety - which is often the presenting feature in early dementia. It’s due to functional changes associated with ageing and can’t be compared to the angst ridden anxieties of adolescents .

I am in my sixties and have the opposite experience to you. I worry so much less than before- as do most of my friends. It’s one o& the best things about being older . I’m also fitter than I’ve ever been

I am 62 and have always been very adventurous and had very good health. In the past few years I have become increasingly anxious about travelling , feel anxious a lot of the time and a bit agoraphobic. I was never anxious previously. I’ve had to cancel holidays several times due to illness or become ill on holiday . I find airports really stressful, I find unfamiliar places hard to cope with. I feel more vulnerable generally. It’s very frustrating.
I dont quite know what to do about it, but feel that maybe I’ll stop going abroad . My world is definitely shrinking. What matters to me is my children . I don’t like where I’m living or my house, but would like to move somewhere closer to my kids and concentrate on pottering around the garden and grandchildren. Which seems a bit pathetic really . I find the organisation of holidays increasingly challenging . I used to be a super organised person. I find I am forgetting to pack important things and getting muddled which makes me fearful.

Also hate crowds and notice how much older I than most people.

So true

@lljkk Feel so sorry for your Dad. You are basically in a 'pull yourself together' mindset. It won't help him. Yes it is frustrating, but your overall thoughts should be concern, not irritation. I don't know anything about your relationship with your Dad, but if he has been loving and caring towards you, why not just be compassionate and understand it is part of his ageing process? You might regret your cold stance one day...

I fight this. At 22 I uprooted myself and went to live in the UK. Later today I'm going to Spain where I used to live and I feel myself over planning everything. Where does the coach stop. I have a phone, I have revolut, I have debit cards, passport, paper boarding pass incase my phone die. I am still feeling like some sort of homing device kicks in and starts bleeping when I am 30 k away from my usual bed. I am 52 and I want to fight this.

People often need varifocals or separate reading and driving glasses from their 40s.

Glaucoma can often start in the 40s and is very common in the over 60s.

As can cataracts...

Corneal Degeneration and Macular Degeneration are generally diagnosed from age 55.

We're hormone driven really. Menopause causes changes, sometimes giving more confidence as it depends how you are affected by underlying testosterone as well, sometimes anxiety. Men experience a gradual drop in testosterone. Plus a lot of simple vitamin deficiencies such as B12 are linked to anxiety. Then early signs of dementia could start in your 60s with anxiety.
So I'm going with health. We think personality is fixed, but it isn't.