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Original poster

Why do so many brides continue to wear veils at their wedding?

194 replies

Houseplantmad · 18/05/2023 23:27

Seems a bit weird and antiquated in this day and age ie being “revealed” to a prospective husband at the alter, having been “given away” by your father. Why do so many women continue with it?
in fact, so much of traditional wedding rites are just plain odd in this day and age.

OP posts:
haloangel · 19/05/2023 03:43

OP is it really hard to understand that sometimes people do things because they want to and it looks nice without needing to create some kind of ' women are second class' vibe. Really not the battle you should be fighting

ohnonowwhat · 19/05/2023 04:07

Because they don't know any better the poor silly, oppressed little things. It's hard for a female to think straight you see when there's a wedding, or flowers, or shiny stuff - plus they're no doubt enslaved to the patriarchy / male gaze / manspreading etc. You should try to save them by starting faux confused threads on Mumsnet, that'll definitely help 👍

Garethkeenansstapler · 19/05/2023 04:09

MrsDoylesDoily · 18/05/2023 23:39

A lot of people like tradition 🤷‍♀️

Look how many MNetters live with their partners and have kids with them, yet they're 'waiting for him to propose'.

I wouldn’t call that ‘tradition’.

Garethkeenansstapler · 19/05/2023 04:09

ohnonowwhat · 19/05/2023 04:07

Because they don't know any better the poor silly, oppressed little things. It's hard for a female to think straight you see when there's a wedding, or flowers, or shiny stuff - plus they're no doubt enslaved to the patriarchy / male gaze / manspreading etc. You should try to save them by starting faux confused threads on Mumsnet, that'll definitely help 👍

Grin
Sexisthairdressers · 19/05/2023 04:13

More importantly, why do people continue to get married?!

coffy11 · 19/05/2023 04:13

Yep agree, goes with the other sexist "traditions" of being given away, wearing a white dress, waiting to be proposed to, taking your husbands name.

Dedodee · 19/05/2023 04:32

coffy11 · 19/05/2023 04:13

Yep agree, goes with the other sexist "traditions" of being given away, wearing a white dress, waiting to be proposed to, taking your husbands name.

I was surprised that both my dil and dd took their dh’s names.
It’s the only regret I have 40 years later. Especially since my dbil says I have degraded the family name! But that’s another story.

teezletangler · 19/05/2023 04:42

Because they're beautiful and it's a look. A lot of more formal wedding gowns don't look quite finished without a veil. But you rarely see someone with a face covering veil these days.

Sundaysundaebananasplit · 19/05/2023 04:47

ohnonowwhat · 19/05/2023 04:07

Because they don't know any better the poor silly, oppressed little things. It's hard for a female to think straight you see when there's a wedding, or flowers, or shiny stuff - plus they're no doubt enslaved to the patriarchy / male gaze / manspreading etc. You should try to save them by starting faux confused threads on Mumsnet, that'll definitely help 👍

Internalised misogyny! Unconscious bias!

Sundaysundaebananasplit · 19/05/2023 04:48

I covered my face. I just thought it looked cool and dramatic!

Whichnumbers · 19/05/2023 04:55

It takes time for fashions to change & traditions to be left behind

in the 1970s it was still traditional to have the dad pay for the wedding, the groom ask if he could marry the bride, to use churches. Hen and stag do was the night before wedding and one night only

niw the bride and groom most often pay, there isn’t any asking to marry, the wedding often takes place at a venue not a church. The hen and stag do takes place weeks before wedding and lasts several days

traditions change slowly

Whichnumbers · 19/05/2023 04:57

More importantly, why do people continue to get married?!

when you can have a civil partnership which gives you the same rights

Aposterhasnoname · 19/05/2023 05:50

Sexisthairdressers · 19/05/2023 04:13

More importantly, why do people continue to get married?!

Same reason they wear veils, because they want to. Why is it so difficult for mumsnetters to understand people are different and not everyone thinks or feels the same way as them. Boggles my mind.

SisterWivesrus · 19/05/2023 05:54

Houseplantmad · 18/05/2023 23:27

Seems a bit weird and antiquated in this day and age ie being “revealed” to a prospective husband at the alter, having been “given away” by your father. Why do so many women continue with it?
in fact, so much of traditional wedding rites are just plain odd in this day and age.

You must be exhausted at Easter and Christmas wondering why people are doing weird antiquated things.

peachicecream · 19/05/2023 05:56

I agree OP. We didn't do a lot of 'traditions' at our wedding, so many are outdated and patriarchal. I refused to be given away or paraded down the aisle as well. We both waited at the top as guests came and sat down.

WandaWonder · 19/05/2023 06:03

Because they like the look but more importantly gives something for MN to comment on

PermanentTemporary · 19/05/2023 06:14

Because it's tradition
Because it looks like they think a bride should look
Because it's a massive upselling jolt for the wedding dress shop with a huge markup

Boggles my mind that people don't see 'because they want to' isn't an answer. The question is why they want to.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 19/05/2023 06:19

USaYwHatNow · 19/05/2023 01:21

To each their own? I had a fingertip veil, which I wore over my face. My dad gave me away, and he lifted the veil halfway through the ceremony. We got married in a church in 2019 and it just felt 'right'.

Gave you away ?

What are you a consolation prize ?

It's all such a load of patriarchal bullshit.

But if you are going to have some patriarchal bullshit may as well have the whole lot (white dress, veil, given away).

Or you could just go to registery office and sig. a contract

HinnyInAPinny · 19/05/2023 06:19

@PermanentTemporary I wore a veil because I like them and it made me feel like it finished my outfit off.
The same reason as my daughter did.

PurBal · 19/05/2023 06:21

I had one, went over my face too. Why? Because it’s literally the only time in my life I’d be able to wear a veil without looking like a plonker. Also the only time in my life I would be able to wear a wedding dress. (Unless I get married again).

Neurodiversitydoctor · 19/05/2023 06:27

PurBal · 19/05/2023 06:21

I had one, went over my face too. Why? Because it’s literally the only time in my life I’d be able to wear a veil without looking like a plonker. Also the only time in my life I would be able to wear a wedding dress. (Unless I get married again).

Well horses for courses, I never had any desire to wear a " wedding dress" but then I never dressed up as a princess as a child either which is basically the same thing.

As long as the main reason for getting married isn't be able to pretend you are Cinderella I suppose it's fine. It is a bit of an odd way for adult woman to behave though.

Odile13 · 19/05/2023 06:28

I had one simply because I thought it looked beautiful!

ElmTree22 · 19/05/2023 06:30

Whichnumbers · 19/05/2023 04:57

More importantly, why do people continue to get married?!

when you can have a civil partnership which gives you the same rights

Why can't people just do what they want?
We spend way too much time worrying about other people's lives and what they choose to do with it imo.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 19/05/2023 06:32

Choices are not made in a vacuum

ElmTree22 · 19/05/2023 06:33

Odile13 · 19/05/2023 06:28

I had one simply because I thought it looked beautiful!

Exactly this!