Kids after school activities exhausting - for me!

[prooses]

Anyone else find lugging kids around to after school activities absolutely draining?

We don't drive - so walk to school (and me back of course!) and I am a LP. So most weeks I do the school run 10 times a week (there and back, there and back!). Basically it's 4 miles a day minimum of walking before any activities./

I also add to this two weekly after school activities, and a Saturday morning one as well. For swimming which feels like the killer, I leave the house at 2.45 and get back about 5.15pm after we've walked there, done it and walked back with fairly heavy bags and kit etc. Then another one, another day and Saturday morning activity as well. This will add extra miles on the clock!

DC is happy doing these and they feel like the right amount of after school activities, some times we miss one of them out so it's not always every week all activities.

As he's an only child without another parent at home and we have no family to socialise with nor really have playdates so I think it's important for him to do them.

I just find the whole school run and activity juggling really exhausting!

Does anyone else find it tiring? Around all this I have to fit in all the housework, my own job and work, cooking, shopping, finding a little time for myself. It's a struggle and I am so tired.

I hope it gets easier in secondary...!!

You shouldn't be having to defend this OP. You've got a lot on your plate.

I remember when I was taking the buggy for my preschooler on the primary school run. The only people who judged were people who were driving to school, not wrangling an autistic young child 5 miles a day on foot, rain or shine. Just the idea of having to walk to swimming and back on top of the hassle of the lessons themselves, and my own job, and 2 school runs in a day makes me want to hide under my duvet.

Wr have had to make some tough calls lately in not running our teens round to everything they want to do. If you are confident that pushing through is right for you then great, but as @Gemst199 says there are times to listen to your body and re-evaluate.

Not everyone can afford lessons or to run a car. So telling someone to learn to drive is not in the slightest bit helpful.

Big hugs firstly! you are a superstar Mum! Just a thought but are there any other mums with the same afterschool activities you know of? I've been asked a few times if I'd mind taking other children (because I drive) and I am ALWAYS happy to help where I can - even if you could get just 1 afterschool activity covered it'd give you a break?

Exactly.

I mean, seriously? Planet's cooking, every car on the road adds to danger, pollution and noise issues for everyone else. Yet apparently the OP - who has already says she does not need a car for any other reasons - should start running a car just to fit in a bunch of extra curric....?

Swimming can be blitzed by doing 1-1 intensives during the holidays, and everything else is optional.

Cut down on activities everyone suggesting bikes forgetting how much faf it will be to change clothes again/carry them from sweat, the muscle aches from being a new rider and trying to keep kids safe on the road

You’re way off here. Just because your kid can do it doesn’t mean all can. You know nothing about the circumstances but you’re categorically wrong in saying all 10 year olds can walk to and from school.

Crikey some people are unpleasant.

And no. YANBU. I have a kid on year 5 and for some reason I’m really feeling it lately. I think because it’s nearly over? Or it would be if I didn’t have another in year 1 😂

You need to consider your own needs as well as your child’s.
DS 1 aged 11 does 2 after school and 2 weekend activities. DS 2 aged 7 does 1 after school activity ( same one as DS 1, and two weekend activities ( one is swimming and same time as DS1) . Two parents with a car both work. It’s exhausting!

We categorically cannot do any more and have decided to prioritise our own needs more. YANBU. Use scooters though….

OP you are doing brilliantly.

Would a scooter help?

One for both of you?

I’ve been there too but one day there will be no clubs, no 1-2-1 time . Enjoy it while you can because it is awful when it finishes xx

Sorry to hear you are tired, but it will get easier once child reaches secondary school age. I haven’t read all the thread, but thought I would add something that I don’t know has been mentioned yet or not….I know you said about trying to lose weight. Maybe just see all this walking as exercise to help shift the weight. Or are you already doing lots of other exercise besides the walking?

Also, would some of the reason being tired, could it be down to being low on iron, or something? That could exacerbate the problem.

I do not understand parents giving into the pressure of after school activities. They are tired enough as it is

It is so tiring doing after school activities when you don't drive but also worth it. I used to take my eldest to wrestling training on a Sunday morning on two buses. Left the house at 8:30am and got home about 1:30pm! The years I did that have paid off because they still go now aged 21 (3 evenings a week) and regularly do paid shows and tours.
Between my 4 children we currently have wrestling training, trampolining, cheerleading, football, tennis, swimming and gymnastics all on weekdays 😂

I have no helpful advice but what a wonderful, dedicated mum you are.

3 activities is normal Even doing 7 clubs a week is better than sat in on screens imo.

My DD has swimming, rainbows, dancing & a couple of straight after school ones. It’s not too much in the slightest. She loves them & as an only child, she gets so much from them. If she wanted to stop any, she just has to tell me. The rest of the time, we’re outdoors biking (her not me, I’m chasing round after her, I’ve literally never been so thin!) or climbing trees etc.

We do have kids over for play/tea & she goes to theirs. Is this something you could do? I also take up all party invites & anything that my friends invite us to.

I’m not a lone parent, I have an ex but he only sees her x1 day per week, it’s really tough.

Keep doing what you’re doing, it will get easier.

Would folding bikes be an option? Or getting somewhere local to store them, eg rent a shed on someone's garden etc, poss risky though. A scooter each.might work too, onvs not electric as they are not.legit in most places.
Yanbu to find LP tough.

@prooses try city scooters with big wheels. Not the electric ones you can hire nowadays in most big cities, but the same kick scooter types what little kids use, just with bigger wheel so it can go on the pavement.

Mine folds up (so easy to carry up stairs) and has a telescopic suspension to make my ride smoother. If your route is reasonably flat and smooth it can be a fun option, I also tend to put my bags on the handlebars, although you have to be mindful of balance.

Worse than judgemental, unpleasant !

My son does activities every day after school and first thing Saturday morning - fencing, judo, basketball and ice skating - loves all of them, is super fit and healthy and also would otherwise just be sat on screens if he didn't do them.
There is no issue with lots of activities as long as the kids are happy but yes I’m with you on it being super exhausting to keep up with!
I was super active as a kid though - horse riding, ice skating, running - and its served me really well with being physically strong into adulthood even though I look like a sack of potatoes now the muscle memory is all there and keeps me plodding along so I’m hoping I’m doing the same for my boys 😊
Hope that gives you some encouragement to push through it for a few more years - you’ll see the benefit for them and they’ll likely be grateful for you doing it in years to come.

Do you count your steps on phone or watch? It doesn’t solve your problem but reframing the necessary walking as exercise that contributes to my health has helped me.

Sorry?

@leavingAqaba yes I usually do between 12000 - 16000 steps up to 6 days a week! It is helpful I agree. I do think I've been getting a little fitter the last few months. I think it's just the whole shebang of single parenting, work, walking etc is generally pretty tiring as a whole thing, so maybe it's just that rather than the clubs as such.

Wow that’s a good amount. I agree it’s the whole shebang. I’m trying to appreciate that my shebang involves walking, don’t run a car, don’t pay for a gym.

its a great idea in principle but having a car isn’t cheap. We can run one and my husband has a commute so largely I’m left to run around walking everywhere. We cannot afford to have two and I can imagine that even one for some budgets could be unaffordable.