The dream versus the reality - add your own

[FlamingoCroquet]

Mine is gardening
The dream: watering the roses in shorts and t-shirt, camomile growing in a sunny corner of my lawn, the bees buzzing round the honeysuckle
The reality: it's still freezing cold in May, I'm disposing of 25 snails who decimate even the honeysuckle, and cleaning up cat shit.

The well-paid professional job.

The dream: challenge, fulfilment, belonging, making a difference, self-actualisation, self respect, glamour, recognition etc.

The reality: 40 hours a week in Teams meetings, screaming inside.

ha! thanks for that one

The dream: looking after my darling babies while they’re still small

The reality: ten billion arguments about toothbrushing before breakfast

The dream, wafting around in long summer dress!
Reality, makes me looks bigger than an elephant!
I have been disappointed by this many times!

Creative freelancer

The dream: San Francisco, rose gold Macbook

The dream - and they lived happily ever after....

The reality - solo mum and loving it.

I've got another one - parenting and screen time

The dream (while pregnant with PFB): I think I'll just let my child watch nature documentaries

The reality (17 years later): "DS, it's 2am, turn your bloody computer off and go to bed!"

Nursing

The Dream: gently holding a grateful patient's hand as they gaze lovingly up at you and thanking you for helping them. Wearing a pristine, nicely pressed uniform, drinking tea whilst sitting doing the notes and being given a box of M&S biscuits by a smiling and polite relative.

The Reality:

Getting bitten, pinched and wee'ed on by a surprisingly strong 85 year old who spits their medication out and demands you find their blue cardigan which is currently going through the laundry. Your once clean uniform covered in Epilim and crumbs from the cheap biscuits you've nicked from the tea trolley because you know you'll never get a break. The phone ringing constantly and irate relatives demanding to know why something that was completely out of your control has happened and what are you going to do about it. Hiding in the toilet and taking paracetamol to try and stave off the dehydration headache. Having to stay behind to write up notes whilst being eyed suspiciously by the night shift who are wondering when you're finally going to leave so they can get their knitting and magazines out.

Marathon training:

Svelte, tanned, fit and cruising along, whilst eating all the cake at work after a chilled morning run.

Reality, bloated from carbs, asymetrical sunburn, sore feet and still a panting sweaty mess. Never again!

Loving all of these - whether funny, so-bad-it's-funny, positive or truly awful!

I hope your reality turns out like this!

Online dating in my 40s

The dream: a rerun of 20 years ago. Some ‘nice enough’ dates, some fun dinners, not even daring to hope to meet someone special

The reality: never realised humanity was so
damaged

The dream. Having your horses at home. Listening to them call you over the garden wall, lovely rides through the field, doing things in your own time.

The reality. Fencing repairs in driving rain. Always worrying about them. Doing so much maintenance you can't be arsed to ride. Ducking down when you're in the kitchen in case you are spotted and your horse starts heckling you for dinner

Right there with ya

The dream: children happily eating home cooked dahl, hummus and a lovely green salad

The reality: cursing as I accidentally burnt the oven chips and processed sausage rolls that are the some of the few only foodstuffs they actually eat. Oh, and carrot sticks. peeling and cutting up bloody carrot sticks again, every single day of my life, to go with the beige food.

The dream - running my own business, chose my hours, flexibility, work from anywhere whenever it suits me.

reality - work all the time, if not actually working, thinking about work.

Psychoanalytic therapy.

The dream - a wonderful journey into the incredible workings of my own mind, in the presence of an analyst who by turns is both fascinated and delighted by me, delving into a storehouse of treasures and the gaining of an ancient wisdom.

The reality. The slog, lying there trying to talk, convinced my analyst has died of boredom, the same old painful difficult feelings and frustrations and having no bloody idea what is going on. Going over the same old resentments envies rages disappointments and frustrations, hoping for enlightenment that never comes.

I wouldn't change it though so I must love it really 😉

@orangeflags “Ducking down when you're in the kitchen in case you are spotted and your horse starts heckling you for dinner” 😂😂

That reminded me of a recent purchase…

automated cat feeder

the dream: no more weighing out overfed cat’s rations while he miaows at me and gets underfoot. No need to get out of bed for morning feed, just let the machine do the work

the reality: cat knows exactly what times the machine goes off and follows me around, miaowing, for at least 15 minutes beforehand. No need to get out of bed for morning feed, but will be woken up anyway as the cat propels himself from my pillow at lightning speed the moment the kibble goes rattling into his bowl. Occasionally disconcerted by the sound of my own
voice calling from the kitchen (machine comes with voice recorder for some reason, for reluctant eaters perhaps?)

@SillyMe101 Occasionally disconcerted by the sound of my own
voice calling from the kitchen (machine comes with voice recorder for some reason, for reluctant eaters perhaps?)

Maybe it's designed for when the owner goes on holiday, to like REALLY freak your cat out.

Shopping for clothes

The dream - wandering from shop to shop with lots of lovely things to chose from. Nice fabrics, interesting colours and all the sizes available. Looking for something specific like a decent white T-shirt or flattering work trousers not a problem plenty of choice.

The reality- most of the mid range clothes shops have closed down, there is a choice of Primark or boutiques selling things your 80 year old mum would think frumpy. Horrible fabrics that give you a static shock just looking at them, horrendous colours either every shade of sludge available or bright migraine inducing neon colours with only size 6 or 22 available. Looking for something specific no decent white T-shirts but a choice of 3 brightly coloured cropped T-shirt that are so thin you can see through it.

Other reality: short stout toddler wearing granny’s long nightie

The dream: cute low maintenance pixie haircut that makes me look like a 1960s French movie star.

The reality: I look like Barry Chuckle.

kids playing in the garden.

the dream: your two children explore nature, or play happily with any of the many garden toys out there

reality: a fight to the death because they want the same stick

This. But I wouldn’t change it.

the dream: run an ethical company with the love of my life. Brunch daily with other entrepreneurs. Wake up feeling like an empowered, fulfilled boss woman.

The reality: Packing orders at 3am, working 14 hour days, budgeting to afford one brunch a week at a greasy spoon