The dream versus the reality - add your own

[FlamingoCroquet]

Mine is gardening
The dream: watering the roses in shorts and t-shirt, camomile growing in a sunny corner of my lawn, the bees buzzing round the honeysuckle
The reality: it's still freezing cold in May, I'm disposing of 25 snails who decimate even the honeysuckle, and cleaning up cat shit.

😂😂 made me laugh. Wish I knew what the mad organisation was!

The dream: fresh highlights, a kiss of bronzer, hello warm carefree days

The reality: I'm Michael Fabricant, may I count on your vote?

The Dream: Living a bohemian life in Rive Gauche; sipping coffee on the Boulevard St Germain, writing poetry and The Novel.

The reality: Living a very middle class life with a DH and a SAHM to 2 adored kids. The only nod to bohemia are my slightly hippy clothes. The Novel remains a distant dream

And actually feeling like you are well paid at the end of it.

Baking with small children.

The dream: a fun, bonding but also lifeskill-imparting activity that fills lots of time.

The reality: tantrums and tears; zero interest in learning any of your useful little tips; over in 10 minutes; flour everywhere.

The dream: Thatched cottage in the country, roses round the door, peace and birdsong, crackling fire in winter.

The reality: constant specialist ££££ maintenance, impossible to heat, have to get in the car and drive everywhere.

The dream: a lovely city centre apartment, looking down from my window up high to the world passing by.

The reality: a converted house with no soundproofing. End terrace with a massive damp wall. Hearing neighbours below scream at each other. The annual service charge fees hit the mat. No services provided in 15 years. Communal areas gone to ruin.

Dream - I can be 100% good on my diet for a week and lose 3 stone.

Reality - Just started a diet , and in 6 months would probably lose about a stone.

This. Also the end product is sugar laden and very bad for you, so why promote it as a healthy activity?

Convertible car.

The dream : Cruising along country lanes or down a costal road in warm sunshine, tunes blasting out, looking effortlessly glamorous & cool.

The reality: You can’t have the roof down in May because it’s 12 degrees & pissing it down yet again. When you do get the roof down, the wind tangles your hair into knots, you get sunburned, your hay fever goes crazy, you get stung by insects, choked by traffic fumes in town and the smell of cowshit in the countryside.

The dream

A packet of wild flower seeds thrown casually across the garden produces an effortless sea of bobbing flowers. Poppies, cornflowers and bees waft in the sun as I admire from my sun drenched garden bench.

Reality
A sea of weeds that kill everything else in sight. One poppy if you're lucky. The prospect of having to cut the whole lot down in the autumn.

Foreign beach holiday

The dream: exploring beautiful landscapes while looking cool in a floaty dress and shades. Swimming in warm clear water.

The reality: a ridiculously early start to the holiday because the flight leaves at 6am (why?), leaving everyone tired.

Sunscreen dripping down your sweaty face and stinging your eyes. Having a red, shiny, squinty face in all the photos. Sore feet from all the walking in sandals.

Missing out on swimming due to a tummy bug. Lots of family arguments because everyone is hot and feeling under pressure not to waste the limited time. Crowds of people just like you, getting in the way.

An ex had an old convertible. You could only put the roof up or down manually from outside the car.

We put the roof down once before driving on the motorway. Soon the heavens opened and we just had to sit there for miles, getting soaked, until we reached a place to stop and could put the roof down.

It was an impractical car too, as it only had two seats and was uneconomical to run.

Being An Author

The dream - sitting cross legged in front of laptop, tapping unforgettable prose whilst admiring the way the sun glints off your selection of awards. Checking occasionally on Amazon to see your latest has garnered another round of 5* reviews, everyone exclaiming over your use of language and descriptive powers. Working out whether to spend this month's royalties on a new conservatory or just spending it on 'you' as you've worked so hard, possibly getting a new outfit for the forthcoming public appearance.

The reality - sitting in bed in front of a regularly overheating laptop, trying to think of yet another synonym for rain. Reading 3 reviews which blatently misunderstand the premise of the book and fixating on the single 1 review which calls into question your understanding of something you've lived every day. Wondering whether this month's royalties will stretch to letting you buy heavy duty bin bags and a haircut for this month's talk to the disinterested WI branch, most of whom will fall asleep as soon as you start talking.

The dream - living by the sea, early morning walks listening to the tide, beautiful views from the window, happy people bringing their children on holiday.

The reality - greedy landlords charging crazy rent but not willing to do any repairs, constant mould, freezing in the winter and boiling in the summer, morning walks curtailed by very aggressive homeless people in tents on the beach and in the parks, constant smell of weed in the streets, frequent views of small children relieving themselves in the street (at their parents' instigation). I moved!

Dream;
Daughter gets first period, I hold her hand and congratulate her on now being a woman while we hug and then go shopping.
Reality
Doesn't tell me. I start finding dirty pads tucked away in her room.

Having cats

The dream: adorable, playful kittens growing into cuddly lap cats. Seeing a cat waiting for you in the window as you come home from work.

The reality: the above plus lots of lovely surprises, especially first thing in the morning.

For example, stepping into mouse innards with bare feet, a mysterious smell which turns out be a dead frog behind the fridge, hair-ball vomit on the stairs, the Christmas tree demolished by kittens, then pissed on by a territorial adult male, fight injuries and eye-watering vet bills caused by said fight injuries, shredded wallpaper and damaged furniture.

Couldn’t ignore this one. When you’re feeling shit about your body, remember that your children couldn’t give less of a hoot about your wonky boobs and baggy clothes and I expect they think you’re the most wonderful, perfect human being and mum in the whole world x
(Also hope you can have your tummy sorted as that sounds so sore - good luck x )

To be fair, this has only been the last couple of years due to the decline into dementia (his, not mine)

Dream: Getting DH on board with my fitness routine. Eating healthy, going to the gym together, looking our best, holding each other accountable.

Reality: Cooking protein rich meals in industrial quantities, can be exclusively blamed for egg shortage in UK, none of his clothes fit anymore. I myself instead of "spring in my step" am walking like I need a walking frame, so sore all the time.

The dream: really enjoying the dream holiday I'm currently on.

The reality: looking after kids aged 4,3&3 on the dream holiday I'm currently on

Dream: A lovely relaxing day by myself in the city centre, strolling and perusing and shopping (not grocery) at my leisure.

Reality: I’m already exhausted after an hour. My feet hurt and my bags are too heavy to lug around for one more minute. The thought of trudging up to the rest of town is too much and I’m back home before lunch.

This thread is gold. I love real!

I think the kids at the beach one resonates the most. Never ever fits my image!

The dream: long walks in the countryside with younger DC having a fantastic bonding over nature time by naming all the plants and animals we see.

Reality: DC refusing to walk and screaming asking: where is the playground???

So true!! Really wanted a soft top car till I had a ride in a couple: give me air con any day!